Question for someone who has acess to the DVD.

I rented this a couple weeks ago through my University loan service. I wrote down this word Ingmar uses in the portion of the interview involving a discussion about being a father, or not being interested in one in this case. He uses the word to describe his guilt/sentiments more precisely. Now I can't think of the word and I lost the piece of paper and I've searched the thesaurus. I can get the DVD again but it takes a few weeks... so if anyone has access to it or remembers that part and the word he uses to describe his feeling on the issue... I'd appreciate it.