crap on a cracker


i don't even know where to start...

the mother doing whatever she could to make the situation worse, the daughter being useful for nothing more than the "you're not my real mom!" and "y'know... i hated you before, but now i've come to accept you" scenes, the son being completely pointless...

throw in the genial poachers, incompetent bush guide, stereotypically eccentric "great white hunter", hopelessly impotent park rangers, predictable "plot twists", glass that can't break when it's the only thing between protagonist and antagonist but is no more protection than a tissue when the poacher needs it, and the "climb a tree, lions can't climb trees" final escape plan and you've got a movie that makes you beg for the family to be torn to pieces and the father to shoot himself in the face before it's halfway over.

i apologise for the rant... i just finished the movie, so the disgust is still fresh.

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oh, yeah... at least they figured out a way to get the mother's shirt off. i thought that was a nice touch.

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Actually, believe it or not, lions CAN climb trees but they have problems getting down from it and usually ended up getting killed by the fall.

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"endED"? so, they figured out the problem and stopped doing it?

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Baboon the Jerk got the right idea.

Nothing is more beautiful than nothing.

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FINALLY!! d'you know how long i've waited for someone to go for a cheap shot at the name!? that's why i picked it, even!

in case anyone's interested, jack the baboon is a real person... or baboon, whatever. google it, it's an interesting story.

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The stereotype that annoyed me the most was the teen girl character being all, as you said, "you're not my real mom!" That's always irritating. I did like the movie though, for the crack that it was.

Actually, believe it or not, lions CAN climb trees but they have problems getting down from it and usually ended up getting killed by the fall.

Really? Dang, poor lions.

Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay.

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love the thread title haha

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Dude, your little thread has just made my day, week and month.
I'm in the middle of watching the movie for the second time (yes, someone can be that damn bored) and your rant has given me the intestinal fortitude to make it to the end.

And now I'm just preying (haha) that the laws of time and space will change and I will suddenly be watching the version of the movie where they are torn into little whiny shreds and the dad accidentally shoots himself in the face.

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Basically a ripoff of CUJO

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