Martha's show rightfully ripped by USA Today
It's a good thing Martha Stewart already has her fans, because Martha won't win her any new ones.
Apparently, her stint in prison has done nothing to dent Stewart's faith in the overweening importance of a properly folded T-shirt. Nor has it done much to take the chill off her oddly intimidating TV persona — despite the producer's promise that her new daytime talk show, which premiered Monday, would reveal the warmer, funnier side of Stewart. Let's just say if a sweeter Stewart exists, her show has yet to bring it out.
A blend of talk and tips, celebrity guests and "real people," Martha plants its host in the middle of an industrial-sized kitchen with craft room and greenhouse attached. Stewart, as you might expect, is not one to just hang out for an hour: "We're doing a show about doing things."
The first thing she wanted to do was prove she could laugh about her prison stint, which led to an awkward sight-gag about putting her staff in electronic ankle restraints so she'd always know where they were. That's a risky joke — not just because some people might prefer to see signs of repentance, but also because it sounds like something the old, unfunny Martha might do.
It was downhill from there, as Stewart moved from an ill-timed, inappropriate salute to the foods of New Orleans to an awkward tabletop interview with Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross. After struggling through some quips about the similarities between her public image and Cross' character, Stewart dove into the task at hand: asking Cross inane questions while teaching her how to fold a shirt and scramble an egg. Cross kept smiling, even when Stewart repeatedly called her by her character's name, Bree.
But then why did anyone think Stewart was a natural for a talk show? Empathy is not one of her TV gifts, as she proved in a later segment when she popped into the kitchen of a total and clearly busy stranger and remarked on the weeds in the garden. She never seemed to focus on what her guests were saying, or to pause to consider whether normal people really want their scrambled eggs split into tiny portions and served in the shells.
The show was at its best when Stewart was dealing with the women she met during her kitchen invasion. But that's only because their at-peace-with-weeds ease provided a humorous contrast to Stewart's perfect-home obsessions. Still, there's a limit to how often most people can be amused by Stewart's too-tightly-wound diva act, and a daily dose may surpass it.
As Martha progresses, the host is likely to be more relaxed, but she'll still be Martha. For some, that's reason enough to watch. For others, that's warning enough.
It's Cosmo...He's Chinese.