Sorry, this is a personal peeve of mine, but I hate movies where people cheat on their partners and the audience is led to believe it's okay (and even cute!) because they end up with the person they cheated with.
After the initial kiss with Jill, I couldn't get past the fact that Reed was a complete and utter slimeball.
Does anyone else think this movie, and others like it, spread a poor idea of commitment and fidelity?
I completely disagree with you. They pointed out several times that what he did was terrible. He hated himself, the town hated him, and Jill was turned off by him. What else do you need? Do you want a character who cheats to never be offered redemption? He takes the criticism and it wears him down. He realizes what he did was wrong, and the other half of the movie he is trying to figure out how to make things better. In fact, this is based on a true story. Reed Fish dug up a lot of personal things and showed it to the town. That is a very difficult thing to do in itself and I'm sure it's a thing only writers can understand. But one thing you need to remember is that Reed and Kate were never right for each other. They were great as friends, but it was never true love. He really did love Jill, and in real life they did end up together. The movie never states that cheating was good and that it was "cute" that he had a lack of commitment. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Be true to your feelings with the ones you care about the most and things will work out. This is shown by the end where he and Kate are very close because he made it up to her.
So, in short, I respectfully and completely disagree with everything you said about this film.
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I completely agree with ShroudOfFrost (who, by the looks of it, is a fellow HitRecord-er! "Again by heart", dear friend!)...
I was absolutely disgusted by Reed's action, and I saw it coming a mile away by how absolutely infatuated he was by Jill. But, immediately, we went to Kate's to admit what had just happened, but, of course, what are you going to do in a situation like that. It's hard to accept someone's apology immediately after they admit to being unfaithful.
Nevertheless, the story clearly shows that Reed's actions were looked down upon by his whole town, and he even nearly destroys both of his relationships (with Kate and with Jill).
Reed is at that point in his life where he is really trying to figure out who he is as a person. For the past few years, he has felt as though he was pressured into following in his dad's footsteps (although he never actually was, he just felt that obligation and guilt), and he never really got the chance (while coming out of high school) to take some time to figure out where he wanted to go and what he wanted to become.
Then there was also the heavy load involving Kate. Both of Reed's parents, as well as Kate's mother, got killed in that car accident. A tragic even like that is often going to bring two people together. Both Reed and Kate really had nobody else but each other to lean on, and so they felt nearly obligated to date and get engaged. However, although Reed surely LOVES Kate, he was never actually IN LOVE with her like he probably thought that he was. He just needed someone to be there for him, and she needed someone to be there for her as well. They loved each other platonically, and they really are the best of friends -- which makes it all the more wonderful that, in the end, after they've had some time apart and some time to grow up and find their own individual selves without the other person, they were able to remain very close, supportive friends.
As for Jill, Reed was obviously always in love with Jill. I don't really like her character much simply because I dislike ambivalent people with little motivation to take their lives anywhere, but all of the characters are still quite young in the movie. They're all just.. looking for themselves.
And you can't entirely blame a guy who is just trying to look for himself. Maybe you don't get back in a relationship with a person like that, but you can certainly eventually forgive them if they are sincere in their apology -- which Reed certainly is.
I have to agree with everything ShroudofFrost replied to your post, with one addition:
I think kissing a girl you're in love with, and afterwards admitting it (even with a clearly bad conscience) to your girlfriend, cannot be regarded as 'cheating'. The very meaning of that word implies something you do deliberately and in hiding to avoid its consequences.
Reed kissed Jill out of an impulse, regretted straight after, admitted it to Kate and took all conceivable consequences.
I agree with the OP in that I also hate it when a character cheats on their boy/girlfriend and it is presented as cute and true love (even if they do love the person they cheated with). This is the reason why I hated "The Notebook." Regardless of the relationship McAdams and Gosling had, she was engaged and owed it to her fiance to give him the courtesy of a "Dear John" phone call at the least before sleeping with Gosling.
But I also agree with AriArnold. In my mind "cheating" has a connotation of lying and deceiving your significant other while carrying on an affair. Steve McNair was "cheating."
But I believe that if it's a one-off kiss or even a night of weakness it is not "cheating" as such and can be forgiven. In such instances most people regret those mistakes. Of course it is up to the two people involved in the relationship. Not every woman is willing to forgive, and that's OK, but I think I could tend to forgive someone if it was once, maybe twice in a very long time. But if it were a pattern of behavior, even with different women, then it is not just a one-off sort of thing and needs to be dealt with.
Wow.
shareI don't completely agree with the OP as I think the fact that Reed immediately admitted what he did it makes it OK. Well, not OK but understandable. I do think that Reed's character in general was very unlikeable up until the end of the film. I never really found myself rooting for him. I didn't see his attitude really change. I understand that he changed his surroundings; he quit his radio job and started making a film but he just still seemed completely absorbed in himself and getting Jill back just seemed like him trying to please himself, not love. And the further the story progressed the more he looked like an *beep* Not that I can sympathize with him, I can understand where he's coming from, but he was just..an *beep* I don't know, maybe it was just bad acting but I'm hesitant to say that as I'm a huge fan of Jay Baruchel. That being said, I enjoyed this movie and him staying an *beep* would make it even more unique so if that's what the writer was intending then great but I doubt it as it's about himself.. I'd give it at best a 6/10.
Voting History: http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=26598711
I agree with jebbika The whole getting with Kate back to kind of get revenge on Jill was messed up in a big way. Kate was a sweet girl who had gone through a terrible loss of her mother and in a way it was Reeds fathers fault accident or no she was damaged. To further injure her with the whole sleeping with her then acting like some kind of player juggling Kate And Jill at the same time I really hated that part of the movie. I understand Reed was truly in love with Jill call it soul-mates or whatever, but he should have cut Kate lose for good. Also I like Jay Baruchel but I like him better as a sidekick in movies like Fanboys, and Knocked up. Right now in his carer I don't see Jay as a leading man.
shareI actually thought he did a pretty convincing job as a leading man. I'm a little biased though, having been a fan of his since Undeclared.
shareI think he did great too, and I'm saying this with an unbiased opinion because I saw this movie before any other movie he was in. I also have to agree 100% with ShroudOfFrost. Although, I don't think they have all of their facts right about this being a true story. The writer (Reed Fish) said he just used his name for this movie.
shareDid he get back together with Kate as revenge....?
shareI don't think Reed slept with Kate to get back at Jill. There were genuine emotions there; he could see how much Kate was hurting and it hurt him because they were such good friends and had been through so much together. It confused him, and made him feel like it was love. Emotions are very tricky to deal with and when you are hurting you can confuse them.
I do think he kind of acted like a douchebag in the morning though.
I agree with jebbika The whole getting with Kate back to kind of get revenge on Jill was messed up in a big way. Kate was a sweet girl who had gone through a terrible loss of her mother and in a way it was Reeds fathers fault accident or no she was damaged. To further injure her with the whole sleeping with her then acting like some kind of player juggling Kate And Jill at the same time I really hated that part of the movie. I understand Reed was truly in love with Jill call it soul-mates or whatever, but he should have cut Kate lose for good. Also I like Jay Baruchel but I like him better as a sidekick in movies like Fanboys, and Knocked up. Right now in his carer I don't see Jay as a leading man.
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I agree with the OP- and I think that the movie would have been so much better if Reed hadn't ended up with either of them. It wouldn't have been a typical ending, but they were obviously going for originality with the "movie within a movie" aspect and that would've added to it. Reed was confused and mistreated both of them and obviously needed to work on himself. He didn't deserve either of them and should've only made the movie to show exactly what happened and express his feelings of remorse.
We're not free. Circumstance is what controls me, just like everyone else.
Considering this is actually a true story, they wanted to portray what actually happened. And in real life, Reed Fish really did end up with Jill. The character at the end named John Penner...that's the real Reed Fish.
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This isn't about cheating or who ends up with who. It's about kids in midst of making adult decisions when they aren't adult enough.
This film won't work if the main characters were even just a couple of years older and wiser.