1. being diagnosed with colorectal cancer
2. being covered in chocolate at the OA meeting
3. finding your wife in bed with your mom
4. baiting a shark with your privates
5. getting a box of dead puppies for Christmas
U forgot being martyrd with big ass stones
share6. getting AIDS
share7. Watching a movie where everyone gets aids (Rent) and laughing at them, and then ironically finding out that u have aids.
8. Having dinner with Uwe Boll
9. Falling into a tank of fricken sharks with fricken lazer beams attached to their fricken heads
10. Getting kicked in the nuts by samuel L. Jackson
11. Having sex with Star Jones. No condom.
share12. Watching this movie in a foreign language.
Last Movie Seen:
Lady In The Water (***/****)
http://www.petitiononline.com/pm4l/petition.html
13. Being stuck on a mountain with a gay cowboy.
Last Movie Seen:
Clerks 2 (****/****)
Last Move Rented:
Venom (*/****)
14. Having a giant, oversized dildo capable of destroying your intestines shoved up your ass.
15. Watching a snake eat your genitals.
The right path is my path.
16. watching that same snake have sex with ur wife knowing that u will never be able to again.
17. Eating a bowl full of Rip Torns pubic hairs
18. Watching a puppy get stepped on to death.
19. eating a used tampon from Rosie Odonell
20. getting hemroids
21. Stabbing yourself in the eye with a red hot poker.
22. Blending together faeces, urine, mud and AIDS-infected blood into a milkshake and drinking it.
23. Watching a Rob Schneider movie (probably).
"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the sewerage."
- TISM
24. constipation
25. testicle cancer
26. baldy cats
27. homeless people asking for money
-Jack D H
Last movie seen: X-Men The Last Stand
Last DVD bought: Independence day
28. Watching Plan 9 from Outer Space twice!
share29. getting locked in a room with nothing to to do but watch plan 9 over and over again for the rest of my life, while I being force fed ,previously said, nasty aids milkshake. 30. Watching star wars episode 1( actually the cable guy is probabally better than episode 1)
share30.Watching a a movie by Uwe Boll and then watching "Plan 9 From..." with Uwe Boll commentary and then watching watching "Larry the Cable guy: health...".
31.Watching "Larry the cable..." AGAIN!
32. Having one of those chemistry glass stir sticks stuck in my penis than shattered.
33. Skinning myself from the knees down and I keep putting salt and lemon juice on it to keep it from being infected
34. Putting super-glue on duct tape, sticking it so my head and ripping it off.
35. Playing hillbilly shoot-up, where I go around and pick off all the worthless Larry the Cable Guy fans.
36. Hell, even a good old-fashioned kick in the nuts is more fun.
They say not to punch a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious-Capt Reynolds
37. Having all your teeth ripped out with pliers all at the same time.
38. Letting someone rip your fingernails off slowly.
maybe watching someone rip your liver out and use as fertilizer for their tomato plant.
Peter-how can The Boss be esoteric it isnt food, Lois!
Brian-a swing and a miss.-Family Guy
Now I seriously doubt you would rather have any of these things done to you. Just because the movie was bad doesn't mean you would rather be in pain. You guys are overreacting. But just for the hell of it:
40. Touching yourself with a glove made of rusty ginsu knife blades and ninja throwing stars.
41. Touching yourself with sandpaper.
Keep your friends close, but you're enemies closer.
[deleted]
haha these are all hilarious!
47. Having The Rock dress u up like a little baby and video tape u saying "im a bad baby" over and over
48. Going to hell, im goin there neway so might as well get on the guys goodside
49. Biting off your own penis.
50. Tattooing your errogenous zones.
51. Branding yourself on your tongue.
52. All of the crap the cast of Jackass has ever done. All of the pain at once, even.
53. Being sawed in half by a magician. A magician who doesn't know how to perform the trick.
Man: "It seems we are not all in agreement"
Mike Nelson: "I disagree!"
54. Having a string tied to every hair on your body, and having them all torn out at the exact same time.
share55. Giving a sponge bath to Bea Arthur
56. Waiting in line to have your Financial Aid released
57. Doing othepedic surgery on yourself with a rusty nail and several toothpicks
58. Playing baseball with your face
59. Becoming the Queen of England's personal douche cleaner
60. Sucking your eyeballs out of their sockets with an old shop vac
"I'm like a superhero with no powers or motivation."
61. Wiping Dustin Hoffman's ass.
62. Seeing your girlfriend/wife have a threesome with your parents.
63. Being Michael Jackson's butler.
64. Giving Larry the Cable Guy a piggy back ride.
65. Wiping your ass with sandpaper
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[deleted]
It's pointless shallow and trite, I would have figured you'd be all over this flick like a Republican on a dying grandfather.
share[deleted]
It's OK to say you don't understand, we wouldn't be surprised.
share[deleted]
"Who is we?"
Everyone who can smell what you really are.
"Your army of little whiny liberal bi+ches?"
We are legion, oh ignorant one.
"You really have a lot of time on your hands."
It doesn't take much time to school you.
"All your little tit for tat messages get pretty old."
Only a couple of weeks.
"Hide behind your computer screen, you mental midget."
There is no hiding here, only truth.
1. watching paint dry on a wall
2. watching the second coat dry
3. repainting the same wall a different color and watching that dry.
4. chewing tin-foil
5. digesting tin-foil
the list is pretty much endless.
75. Mel Gibson giving you a circumsision
share80. Licking Larry The Cable Guy's ass clean after he has one those loose bowel movements.
81. Putting the results of Larry's above movement into a blender with vomit and drinking it.
82. Having to watch Larry The Cable Guy give head to your mother.
83. Having to watch Larry The Cable Guy and Roseanne Barr in bed together naked and doing it.
84. Watching Larry The Cable Guy, his retarded neighbor from the movie and Joan Rivers, naked, sweating heavily and doing a threeway.
85. Using a porcupine as a dildo.
86. Being raped by a great dane.
87. Being raped by Larry The Cable Guy.
88. Shoving a venomous cobra up your butt.
89. Eating the stuff that collects in the bathtub drain.
90. Having Larry The Cable Guy pee in your mouth while you're taking a shower with him.
Yes, all these things are really more fun than watching the movie!
91. watching kung fu hustle whilst eating horse ****.
92. biting your toenails after giving a blowjob
93. Watching Bloodrayne
94. Watching Bloodrayne again
95. Watching Bloodrayne again and watching House of the Dead right after that
96. Putting out fires with your face
97. Starring in a Uwe Boll flick
98. Being stuck in a rubber room with nothing but Avril Lavene's Sk8ter Boi playing on repeat forever
99. The same as the last, except substitute the song with a long tape of Dr. Laura having an orgasm
100. Being strapped to a chair and forced to watch gay porn to classical music a la A Clockwork Orange (if you are gay, sub "gay porn" with "straight porn")
"I'm like a superhero with no powers or motivation."
101. Sticking cheese way up your ass and letting a mouse climb around inside and find it.
102. Having sex with Rosanne
103. Naming 103 things that are funner than watching Larry the cable guy
104. Sticking ur head in a blender.
105. Being a heavy metal fan and having to sit through a she daisy concert.
106. Listening to techno music all night...SOBER!!!
107. Sucking a dead bums balls.
[deleted]
108. Sitting through a Noam Chomsky lecture where he attempts to validate the "Get Arr Done" culture.
109. Licking clean a rest stop after George Michael has visited.
110. Shopping for Spandex with Rosie O'Donnell.
111. Colonscopy ala plumber's helper.
112. Listen to a thousand dumb rednecks say get-r-done over and over.
113. Listen to republicans whine and whine as they call liberals whiny.
114. Have sex with a diseased bum in a dumpster on Valentines Day.
116. Watch Rosie O' Donnell masturbate while she eats powdered jelly donuts.
[deleted]
[deleted]
117. Chat on instant messanger with republican representative and homo pedophile Mark Foley.
118. Watch a three-way porno starring Rosie O'Donnel, Flava Flav and Larry King.
119. Getting sued for $50,000 and losing.
120. Getting your wages garnished.
121. Paying child support on 10 children all under the age of 5.
122. Living in Utah and being the only non-Mormon in your neighborhood.
123. Trying to find a place in Utah that sells beer on Sunday.
124. Getting convicted of a crime you didn't commit and serving time for it.
125. Having an IRS tax audit.
126. Getting a draft notice when there's not even a draft.
127. Getting an eviction notice.
128. Being overdrawn more money that you make on your paycheck.
129. Having your kid be a page in Washington D.C.
130. Watching a 5 day long chess tournament.
131. Solving quadradic equations.
132. Reading any book by Ann Colter.
133. Trying to explain how computers work to your 80 year old Grand Mother.
134. Finding out that your car battery is dead when you're late for work.
135. Having Larry The Cable Guy as your next door neighbor.
136. Having over $1,000 in car repairs.
137. Talking to telemarketers.
138. Thinking of things that are more fun that watching "Larry The Cable Guy: Heath Inpector"
139. Being an 11 year old boy at Neverland Ranch.
140. Being Michael Jackson's nose.
141. Being forced to look at said nose.
142. Coming up with Jenny Jone's rhyming topic titles.("You used to think I was whack, now I got back!")
143. Being Rosie O'Donnell's bicycle seat.
144. Watching a team of midgets perform an interpretive dance to the new John Tesh CD.
145. Being put in charge of Mel Gibson's bar mitzvah.
146. Making sweet, sweet love to Oprah....twice.
You guys are killin' me. SO MANY funny ones.
147. Attending a William Hung concert.
148. Having Rosie O'Donell fart in your face eleven times.
149. Drinking a warm "Coors lot" which is redneck for Coors Light.
150. Drinking a warm can of "Natty Light" which is redneck for Natural Light. It's super cheap so dumb red-necks drink it even though it tastes like a bumb's ass.
151. Watching a Rosie O'Donnell - Ellen DeGeneres sex tape.
152. Witnessing Britney Spears squeeze out a kid.
153. Having your pubic hair ripped out to create Donald Trump's hair pieces.
154. Being forced to watch "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" without a pistol and a single bullet.
155. Playing Superman 64.
156. Listening to the K-Fed CD.
157. Watching the Detroit Lions play football.
158. Watching the Detroit Lions play football on Thanksgiving Day.
159. Not watching this movie.
160. Gouging out my eyes with a meat thermometer, then pouring lysergic acid into my bloody eye sockets. After the wounds heal, hang Christmas decorations from the scabs.
166. Going hunting with Dick Cheney
167. Watching a foursome between the cast of the View (minus Elizabeth Hasselbeck) and a drunk Danny Devito
168. Inhaling a queef from Barbara Walters after DeVito is done with her
169. Having George Bush as our president...nevermind, i take that back