I saw this thing in Chicago

I'm positive I have seen sightings of this beast in the Chicagoland area over the last few months. Believe it or not, the beast is actually a female and has a tendency to hang out at dive bars with ping pong tables. There aren't many of these in Chicago, Happy Village (Ukranian Village), Southport Lanes (Lakeview) and Streeter's (Gold Coast). I haven't seen the best at any ping pong locations other than Happy Village, but I have heard from other people that she likes to hang out in Gold Coast on the weekends. I would guess the beast will likely show up at Streeters Tavern tomorrow. I am warning you though, the beast likes shots of Patron and gets very emotional when intoxicated.