Do you think there will be alot of contreversy surrounding this movie because of the subject matter? A 13 yo boy developing a crush on his male teacher?
Personally I hope it does if only to expose more people to the movie. Cdn films usually come and go so quickly from the few screens they play on a little firestorm surrounding it may help its box office.
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Just check out the comments on this news story from Yahoo News.
http://news.messages.yahoo.com/bbs?action=l&mid=&board=37138446&sid=37138446&tid=nmnewthingdc&start=1
Talk about your knee-JERK reactions!
I think that if there is a controversy about this film, it would be a wrongful controversy. If they don't like it, they don't have to see it. Free speech, man!
right on with your canadian bad selves!
http://news.messages.yahoo.com/bbs?action=l&mid=&board=37138446&sid=37138446&tid=nmnewthingdc&start=1
Go if you like, but the level of debate is depressingly bad.
They wish
to cure us
but I say
we are the cure
and more at www.cafepress.com/wero
The character development was so effective as to overshadow the topicality of the plot in my mind. Unfortunately, everytime I go to recommend it to the people around me, any mention of the student teacher relationship seems to scare even the most openminded film lovers I know.
It's a fun movie, and offers so much more than just "gay interest".
Of course there will be... with all the hyped up pedophile scares over the last few years, it is almost impossible to broach this subject without people flipping out in total hysteria.
What will really drive them crazy is that it is the KID who wants the older man rather than the contrary. It is bad enough when adults desire kids, but to actually admit that the opposite can happen is like telling the world that Santa Claus doesn't exist. It destroys their sunny vision of the world.
On a personal note... when I was about 9 a man put his hand on my knee in a cinema. I thought he'd missed the armrest and found this quite funny. When I looked at him he withdrew his hand as if burned. Then he ran away. I suddenly realized what he had really been doing. My reaction? I was disappointed he had left as I was quite curious and not at all scared. I would have been quite happy to let him touch me and totally interested in touching him.
When I tell this story to people you should see how they freak out! They insist that I was totally tramatized by the incident. I explain that I was not at all traumatized, but they continue to insist; it is beyond their capacity or imagination to accept that a child can have any real interest in sex, especially with someone older.
So there is your answer. This film will upset a lot of people, especially those who have not seen it, because in fact the treatment of the subject is anything but prurient and is done with skill and maturity. In other words, it is probably too advanced for the average film-goerto wan t to go and see...
Quite a few gay guys report having had sex with older men by their choice - i.e. they had to persuade the men. I doubt that this would apply if they weren't gay already. I know as a child I found adult men fascinating, but also frightening, and it wasn't till much later that I admitted my interest was sexual. If I'd been braver (a different person, in fact), I might have made the first move.
They wish
to cure us
but I say
we are the cure
and more at www.cafepress.com/wero
Kia ora Shuggy. good link.
As a youngster I was more interested in what adults had to say than my own peers.
Good film too.
Kiwiboy62
I was sooo much like Emerson when I was his age - right down to the hippie parents (but less so), the home-schooling, the intellectual precociousness, and the crush on the older man (my 19-year-old babysitter). So this movie makes me laugh in that respect.
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First I want to say that I think of myself as a open minded movie lover. I try to watch everything and see everything from other sides. But I was offended by this movie. The rest stop sex, the wife cheating on the husband and it just being out for them both to see and no one really raise an objection, and last but not least the boy in love with the teacher. I'm a straight male so usually gay scenes/movies do tend to make me feel uncomfortable but it's not usually so much the act as it is the circumstances that surround it. I loved Brokeback Mountain, The Birdcage (no sex scenes but still a gay movie). I'm trying to think of others but those may be the only two. Most of the time I don't like them because of the way they make me feel. Transamerica was very hard to watch the boy do truck drivers and then the gay porn scene at the end. Very hard to watch, yet when it's women on women I don't have any probelm with it. One of my favorite movies from 06' was Loving Annbelle about a teacher/student relationship and they really were hot and heavy and I only saw the passion and thought it was beautifully done.
I had to turn this movie off during one of the rest stop scenes when it was his ex lover I guess. But even before that I was upset with the way this 13 year boy was being treated by his parents and other elders. I'm not one to force a certain sex on a child but I don't believe that a 13 year old has a right to choose just yet either. Obvisously they will be curious but not all curiousities need to be acted on. I fantasied about lots of things being 13 but I didn't act on them and I'm very thankful now because that would have put a fork in my road and sent me down a different direction in life. Not gay experiences but just normal 13 year things. Not just sex but drugs, friends, everything. One decision can lead down a path that once down it's too late to return so you ride it out, then 20 years go by.
I think his parents should have been more involved in his life and for the time being directed him towards girls or kept him away from either because if your going to be gay then you'll still be when your 18,20,25 or whatever. But if your 13 and you say that's it I'm gay, then maybe when your 18,20,35, or whatever you say maybe I'm not really gay and just been staying this course so I'm not a sellout to what I thought were my beliefs and then you just ride it out. The same can go for both but you always here about people coming out and never about people going in. Does it not happen both ways. I think there's more pressure on the gay community to just hold tight and stick with it rather than truely find out if they are gay or not.
I have older gay friends that the older they get, the more and more they act as a straight person yet they don't say they are straight or start sleeping around with women because like I said they were fighting for so long and so hard to get respected as a gay person to go back would be like to loss rather than be true to yourself.
But as I said I'm not gay so maybe it's not like this, even though it seems like it's exactly like this. But if this is the way it is, if my interruptation is correct then letting a 13 year old live a gay life isn't right for them and as parents you need to guard them from that lifestyle until they are old and can honestly say yes, this is me and this is the life I want to live.
To JohnS-37:
After reading what you have said, it seems to me that what you are really objecting to is that this film actually shows people the way they are instead of the way you think they OUGHT to be.
Hippy-dippy parents are NOT the kind that are going to come down hard on a 13 year old kid for feeling what he feels. The kid already smokes pot, and gives grown women massages. He also takes nude saunas with his parents. This is a way of life which many people will find objectionable - but hey, chacun à son gout.
As for your having a problem watching gay male sex but enjoying watching female gay sex, gee, what a surprise! Just about every straight porn film has a lesbian scene in it because straights get off on that. Feeling uncomfortable when it is two guys just shows your immaturity or inherent homophobia. I'm gay and have been watching straight sex in films for all my life... it doesn't make me feel "uncomfortable"... why should two guys make YOU feel uncomfortable? It's silly really.
As for a 13 year old kid falling for his teacher - well,, as you pointed out, a 13 year old kid has sex on the brain. It is shown very directly that this kid gets a hard-on seeing a female breast that is not his mom's... but then he falls emotionally for his teacher. Well, either the kid is bi-sexual or he hasn't come to a decision yet. What's wrong with experimentation? The kid is simply being honest about his feelings. what he doesn't realize is that others have responsibilities that mean that he can't necessarily expect them NOT to have problems with this.... well, that's life. Live and learn.
I disagree with your take on gays. They don't "choose" to be gay, they can only choose to accept what they are. I KNEW I was "different" by the time I was 7 years old... even though I didn't have a name for my feelings at that time. I didn't have my first gay sex before I was 21. What I DID realize when I finally had gay sex was that it felt RIGHT;if the kid in this film is in love with his teacher, we should respect his RIGHT to feel what he feels. No-one else can do it for him; And anyone who thinks they have the right to tell a kid NOT to feel what he feels is really being fascist.
It seems to me that the teacher or his parents should explain to him WHY an older person might not be able to accept his love (mainly because he is jailbait...) but there is NO reason for them to ridicule his feelings or tell him he is wrong to have them.
Your idea that his parents should s"steer him towards girls" is nauseating. it is not up to adults to decide for their children what they FEEL! It is the parents' job to help them HANDLE their feelings - but that's all.
Thanks for your response. I have no probelm with people being who they are, but I don't think a 13 year knows who he is yet. Straight, Gay, Bi, or A sexual. You don't know until you have experiences in your life that lead you one way or the other. I don't think this 13 had the experiences in his life to determine what he was. He can be curious, that's completely normal, I think all people at that age are curious about both sexes. But acting on it would be wrong. It's too young to be acting things out sexual for either sex prefrence. My main point was that he is 13 and shouldn't be allowed to do what he feels just because that's the way he feels. There were lots of things that I felt when I was 13 and thank god I didn't do them or else who knows who I would be today. Not just sexual, but drinking, drugs, gangs, etc. As for the parents pushing him one way or the other is because I think most straight people are curious around that age for both sexes. The there parents shoudl set the example of what majority of people are (straight) and if later down the road you still say your gay then go be jolly. Not saying you have to act out as a straight person either, be nothing for a few years, get into High School, see what senses your attracted too, they often change about 900 times from 9th to 12th grade. Also, the part of what I said was that his parents needed to be more involved in his life as well as each others. You have a responsability when you get married to be with that person. You have a responsability when you have kids to be there for them also. He shouldn't been smoking pot, giving grown women massages, etc. Even if he wrote like and adult and talked like an adult he's not an adult.
As for the uncomfortability when watching two males getting together is most likely due to it not being something that I see on a daily basis where as guy and girl is everywhere and girl on girl is embedded in every male as a fantasy. So that's seen everyday also, just not in real life. But in this film is was more distrubbing because it was in a rest stop, even it was a man and a women I would've felt uncomfortable because questions or "safe" come in my mind.
I wouldn't say to tell him his feelings are wrong but that his feeling can go zig zag over the next several years and that he needs to keep everything in check until he's older to know what he really is. And this conincides with the feelings part. You may feel this way now, but it could be the opposite tomorrow. When my kids are 13, keep in mind it's 13 we are talking about here, I wouldn't allow drugs because it's not the norm, now if at 21 you say I want to be a doper my whole life then yes I will deal with it, but your not going to make that decision at 13, and I don't think your sexuality needs to be decided or acted on when your 13.
Well, it sounds like this kid has 3 choices:
1. ignore and suppress his feelings and emotions.
2. explore his feeling with the anonymous man/men in the public bath.
3. explore his feelings with his teacher.
JohnS-37 recommends #1 and disapproves of #3 leaving the kid with only #2.
1. The boy can only suppress his feelings for so long before he goes postal or harms himself.
2. Unsafe, but at least lets him explore some, albeit with some risk.
3. Safe way for the lad to explore his feelings (neglecting the ramifications the teacher these days).
hmmmm....what is best for the boy?
My main thing was him being to young to explore any feeling he had in a sexual way. With men, women or animals. If those are his feeling, he can't help them but his parents shouldn't let him have relatiions until he understands exactly how he feels.
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So would you say he shouldn't act on any of his urges towards girls, or experiment, or become intimate socially with any girls - in case he turns out gay?
Sauce for the goose ...
Keanu should play Gort
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> You don't know until you have experiences in your life that lead you one way or the other.
That's not true at all. You are gay, straight, or whatever at birth. At the age of 13 you may not quite know what terms to use to describe yourself or the feelings you have, but you are already that way.
> My main point was that he is 13 and shouldn't be allowed to do what he feels just because that's the way he feels.
That's probably true, but that was part of the point of the movie. His parents brought him up in the hippie lifestyle of doing whatever you feel when you feel it. So when he wanted to have sex with his teacher and he refused, Emerson became very upset. He had never been denied anything before and that frustrated him more than just the sex.
> see what senses your attracted too, they often change about 900 times from 9th to 12th grade.
Really? How many of those 900 times were YOU sexually attracted to boys in high school? I'm guessing somewheres about zero. The fact is that your real sexual preference never changes. Not once, not 900 times.
> But in this film is was more distrubbing because it was in a rest stop, even it was a man and a women I would've felt uncomfortable because questions or "safe" come in my mind.
Yet you don't seem to complain that the mother was having an obvious sexual affair with Denny. Shouldn't you feel a bit uncomfortable that she was violating the sanctity of marriage, engaging in risky behavior, and so on?
Yes, anonymous restroom sex is disturbing, but it is a fact of life. When you live in a small town out in the middle of nowhere there aren't any gay bars or pride parades to go to to meet other men. A restroom might be your only real choice. That's sad but true.
> now if at 21 you say I want to be a doper my whole life then yes I will deal with it,
I'm going to go out on a limb here and call bullsh!t. If your children announced to you that they wanted to become a stoner you'd fight it every step of the way whether they were 6, 13, 21, or 50. Don't tell me otherwise.
> I don't think your sexuality needs to be decided or acted on when your 13.
You obviously still think sexuality is a choice. Let me just ask you a simple question; When in your life did you decide to be sexually attracted to girls? Was it a choice that you suddenly made one day or was it just always something you knew to be true? How many years were you attracted to boys before you made your choice that girls were the way to go? And keep in mind your own comment that people change their minds 900 times on this subject.
--
What Would Jesus Do For A Klondike Bar (WWJDFAKB)?
*beep* I knew I was gay since I was in kindergarten and I was never molested or corrupted by any outside influences. I've always been self-actualized and MOST REAL GAY PEOPLE I'VE KNOWN in my life have known since they were little kids(and I've been out almost 20 years and highly involved in the gay community since my teens). If this movie was about a male student falling in love with a female teacher- no one would give a *beep* There would be no controversy because 'that's normal'. *beep* Sexuality isn't a decision, you dumb *beep*. It's not 'made' at any age.
'Cause I ride like Kelly Bundy, Yo I keep that *beep* nasty~ (Spank Rock)
I don't think crush is the right word, I feel Emerson was drawn to the teacher from a different kind of emotion or need if you will.
Emerson was different from most boy's his age, he was gifted intellectually, sensitive, and had a purity that is rare with most boy's his age.
I got the impression that he was hungry for someone who he could connect with intellectually and have a relationship with but not in the way of sex or love because he didn't really know anything about love or what being gay was but someone he could connect with is avery human way.
He was pure in that aspect, for example when asked by the bullies at school if he was a boy or a girl, he replied;' gotta choose?' he didn't think in those terms of opposites like his peers did, this is one of the examples of his being above the world of opposites and his being above average in how he viewed his world.
I know in my own case I have had moments in my own life where I felt drawn to another human being as if they were a kindered spirit but I wasn't conscious of it at the time but there was something different about them from others that stood out that I was drawn too and didn't percieve their difference as a threat or something to be afraid of but something I wanted to find out more about.
(this is a clue)
I had no romantic aspirations or even sexual drives it was more of a magnatic pull perhaps even an intellectual curiosity but I don't like that wording either because it even goes beyond being aware of the reasons why I believe in certain situations.
I suppose one could claim, and not be at fault for drawing this conculsion that Emerson was born an homosexual but he wasn't aware of it at the time but he was drawn to his gay teacher because the teacher was what was already just starting to bloom within himself.
Anyways it was an absolutely wonderful film in the respects that it protrays what our society would consider a taboo and exposes it in a very real, and honest humanistic spirit. Not unlike the film titled; 'Happiness'. Another film that is just too honest and real for the mainstream public and comes and goes with very few people even knowing anything about it.
I wouldn't be surprised if most of the criticism comes from the Americans.
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