Guys… straight guys, do not cuddle with one another, simple rule of thumb, we also don’t believe in a lot of physical contact with one another.
If you are really wanting to go thru with all this and become physically changed, you might also want to think about changing your mentality along with it, or you’ll come off as Gay… then what would be the purpose of the change?
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the stacks of porn mags sort of showed me what they where into
click here: http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
T.J. and his frat brothers were the ones who were laying on the bed together. Lucas was the one who had the porn mags in his apartment. I think that T.J. probably learned to show non sexual physical affection from the years he spent having the appearance of a woman because as a women you're not ridiculed for it. Now that he has the appearance of a man he still possesses that skill and desire which in my opinion would only enrich his life. If someone thinks he's gay because he gives one of his guy friends a hug he seems smart enough, mature enough and secure enough not to care.
share
I'm talking about cuddling, not hugs (as in 4 guys in bed cuddling)
and yes, it's a more female trait than male so that gets back to my original post
thanks
click here: http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
When I said hugging I meant along the lines of cuddling. I really wouldn't consider what they were doing cuddling though. People do have different defintions of cuddling. When they were on the bed it seemed to have a comical sense that they were aware of (hence the jokes and laughing and when T.J. says "yeah we're so much like a fraternity" in a sarcastic tone)I don't think they come home from classes and lay around together all the time.
sharecould you actually picture straight men (biologically) doing the same?
I couldn't, neither could my wife, nor could my lesbian and gay coworkers.
click here: http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
Everyone's different...growing up in women's bodies probably did have an effect on these guy's interactions with others. T.J. was "cuddling" with other transexuals. He probalby wouldn't do the same with straight biological men. I really don't believe (and I hope you don't either) that not having the desire to or avoiding physical contact with your guy friends makes a straight man any less of a straight man. It does have an effect on the way society views your woman lovin' studliness though...obviously.
shareI could.
But that's because it's a matter of social norms and mores, not sexuality and biology. I feel really uncomfortable touching other people, but that's because of who I am. Not what I am.
Exactly. I am a woman I actually know a lot of women who don't like to hug or cuddle. I also know a lot of men who are comfortable enough to cuddle. I think it is depends on the person and how they are either brought up. Sometimes social & cultural norms don't even come into play. For example: I was bought up in very affectionate home life. Which I have carried over in to my life outside of the home. But I know some friends who weren't brought up that way, so therefore they aren't comfortable with someone hugging them.
Can social and cultural norms play a role in what they do? Yes, it can.
So you know straight men that are ok with cuddling with one another?
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
Yes, I do. They are comfortable enough with themselves to do so. I think it depends on the person.
shareyou're not just saying that to prove a point are you? That would be very disapointing.
if you do have straight male friends that are ok w/ cuddeling w/ one another, they are very unique.
note: i'm talking about males that were born males (with penises and all). not ones were born F and became M
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
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I have a straight male friend who just really likes to be hugged sometimes. When he's feeling down, he's actually asked me if I'd be willing to let him sit in my lap. He's fine with it.
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Ok, well my original statement was that straight men (born that way and have not been surgically altered to become men or become women) do not cuddle with one another.
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who's Mr Wall? http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
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do you know 2 men (born that way and unaltered), who are straight that cuddle with one another?
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who's Mr Wall? http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
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Ok, now I’m getting confused, you're 1st line says that he sits on your lap and cuddles with you when he's feeling down.
this leads me to clarifying my statement, "does your friend cuddle with other straight men", you say that he's only told you, but you've never witnessed it, then you finish with saying you're straight male friends are cool with cuddling with one another.
How can that be if start by saying it's an individual and now it's a group?
I find it so interesting that people want to so badly prove me wrong.
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who's Mr Wall? http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
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the point of this all is that gender and sexuality are fluid. If they feel comfortable cuddling, they should be allowed to. What's the point of breaking some gender norms (by changing your whole body) and then having people like you saying, "hey, but you can break this norm."
shareand here I thought it was about following individuals who felt they were men instead of women (or vice versa) and showing us a small glimpse of the lives they live.
Brought to you by Carl's Jrshare
yes... this would be a fine example of Irony
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
the first post on this is a perfect example of the heteronormative *beep* that makes people who are trans or queer unaccepted in this f-ed up culture. who the *beep* says two straight men can't *beep* cuddle together? if you've never been emotionally close to another male friend to not have a problem being physically close to them then you are missing out on wealth human experience and interaction and you're most likely a straight up homophobic *beep*
people should not have to conform to be accepted in in this world the world should change to accommodate everyone.
I like how I get lectured by so many, but no one has been able say, "yeah, I’ve got a couple of straight male friends, and when they're feeling emotional, they like to cuddle up with one another on a bed and joke about their penises."
It’s easy to say that I'm merely going by the social norms, but why can't anyone tell me a story of otherwise?
Answer: because straight men don't cuddle (with one another)
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
that Don't & Can't have two very different meanings. This is something we are trained to be aware of way back in grade school, when we'd have to ask to use the restroom.
We'd ask the teachers "Can I use the restroom" and they'd always respond with "I don't know, Can you?"
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
Hmm...
I live in SF (not near... IN)
I have a few gay friends & coworkers
I've been to a 'few' gay bars
I've been to a gay pride a 'few' times (I have friends in the parade)
I watch a show about Transgenders
I've lost friends and family to AIDS (and it wasn't because of dirty needles)
So because I explain a faux pas about straight men cuddling you're gonna call me homophobic? I'm so glad you’re so open minded that you can see all POV's of a conversation.
So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?share
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are you still talking about my statement here or are you just talking to talk.
I'm saying straight 'bio-males' do not cuddle with straight 'bio-males'. I'm not talking straight 'bio-males' cuddeling with MtF or FtM or straight 'bio-females'. I've not implied that ALL women, MtF or FtM like to cuddle nor do I care if they cuddle or not, that is not what I'm talking about in the least bit.
are you still on the same topic?
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actually, you said something along the lines that they told you they cuddled with other bio-males. you don't really know but you were willing to take it on hearsay.
http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000l
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Were you actually saying that there's no point in transitioning if they come across as gay?
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I guess I should've used the term 'spoon' rather than 'cuddle' I think that's what causes most of the confusion.
http://www.myspace.com/imitationcrab2000
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I know (more than 2) straight, biologically born males who cuddle with each other... they've even been known to spoon. And, yes I have seen them do this and, yes they are really straight.
shareI’m having trouble accepting that as fact, but ok, if you say so.
I’m giving up abstinence for lent
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To me, all Mr Wall's been saying is that if an FTM wants to pass as a straight man, sticking to traditional masculine gender boundaries helps.
I'm giving up abstinence for lent
I agree with Mr. Wall. I thought it was also very odd that those boys were spooning each other.
shareI also thought it was odd, but it seemed fairly tongue-in-cheek. I wouldn't be surprised if they were just goofing off for the cameras. I mean, people HAVE done far weirder things when there's a camera pointed at them. I guess the only way to know would be to ask.
Also, I agree that many bio-males (straight or gay) would not cuddle with each other because it is considered weird in American culture. But some FTM's may be more comfortable with it, because by the time you get to be comfortable with something as "weird" as being transgender you have had to beat down a lot of your own beliefs and those of others, about what is considered normal. That was the case with me anyhow. Personally I don't care if someone thinks I'm gay, straight or attracted to lawn gnomes, but I still feel uncomfortable being touched by anyone but my girlfiend.
I know. I prefer Kisses to hugs.
My MTF friend hugs me all of the time, I don't like hugging personally myself, anyway, so it don't bother me.
Also, I've learnt don't smile. Like it someone asks if you're alright, don't smile or if you bump into someone, don't smile at 'em.
"Dime si ella es la reina, Y la dueña de todo mi amor"
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