Favorite Malcolm Quote - The Thick of It (2005) Discussion

[–] iotravel 11 years ago

Malcolm Tucker: Nick, I've just had the Mail on the phone. They're running with the Tom story.
Nick Hanway: That's not looking good.
Malcolm Tucker: No, it's not good, I'm sorry, it's everywhere, spreading faster than a rent-boy's cheeks. We're gonna need a plan B here.

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[–] Bubbleraft-Roo 11 years ago

So, so many.... but here are two...

"You win a year's supply of condoms. In your case, four."

And when he visits Olly in the hospital he says something like, "Looking for my colleague, he looks like a Quentin Blake drawing."

Everybody likes the Shen.

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[–] houndie 11 years ago

Although I liked the series from episode one - their nervousness and never getting quite comfortable and so on being really endearing -, the first time I actually laughed out loud was when Malcolm said: "He's so thick light bends around him."

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[–] halomaniac88 11 years ago

come the *beep* in or *beep* the *beep* off

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[–] Mr_Garak 11 years ago

"No offence, son, but you look like you should still be at school with your head down a *beep* toilet."

The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination - Elim Garak "Improbable Cause"

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[–] elijaprice 11 years ago

(on the phone to a journalist)

".....and by the way, that's a very homophobic headline you massive poof."

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[–] kevcoe 11 years ago

... when he gets the birthday cake reading 'Happy Birthday, *beep*

'This could have come from anyone...'

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[–] DBloodnok 11 years ago

Tell her I want her on The Daily Politics smiling and nodding at Andrew Neill's sneery, haemorrhoid face and tell him to lay off the fish suppers and the poppers.

"Someone has been tampering with Hank's memories."

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[–] kevcoe 11 years ago

'What is this? Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, *beep*

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[–] speccyboy 10 years ago

His final monologue to Ollie at the very end of the series ("I don't just take this job home! I take it home, and it ties me to the bedpost..."). It's probably Malcolm at his most defenceless and vulnerable, finally showing that despite all his rantings and ravings, he, too, is human.

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[–] captain_japseye 10 years ago

"Tucker's Law: If some kunt can fuq something up, that kunt will pick the worst possible time to fuqqing fuq it up, because that kunt's a kunt. I've got that embroidered on a tea towel...."

Heh, wonder why that's only in the deleted scenes....

It's on. It's on like Fat Pat's thong.

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[–] thedeathstar 10 years ago

To Ben: "I'm telling you to *beep* stand up you sack of *beep* come"

"Doug Hayes is a massive abortion, again not a reference to your daughter."

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[–] Stirchley 10 years ago

How dare you call me a bully. I am so much worse than that.

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[–] Concise_Statement 10 years ago

"This is rubbish! This is literally rubbish!"

Most people use the word 'literally' in a way that halves its meaning. Tucker's use doubles it.

"I apologise for my appearance, but I have had a difficult time these past several years."

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[–] Hancock_the_Superb 10 years ago

Some that jump to mind:

[to Ben Swain] "I've never seen anyone look so *beep* ugly with just one head!"

[to Steve Flemming] "Clearing out your desk, Steve? Don't forget your lucky gonk and your world's *beep* dad mug."

I don't remember the whole quote but I loved when he called Stewart a "big *beep* spunk lolly."

"Away, laddy - or I'll burn you to a crispy noodle!"

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[–] markleighton1983 10 years ago

To Nicola Murray "you look like Dot Cotton licking piss off a nettle!"

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[–] ncrawford82 9 years ago

When his mouth was open and words were coming out. Pretty much any time he wasn't talking as well. Peter Capaldi has a gift for saying so much without saying a word. Case in point, when Glen rightfully flies off at the handle after he went to bat for Hugh on so many occasions. And who does Hugh want to talk to? Ollie. The guy that was ready to sell him out.

Glen is justifiably upset and Malcolm just stands there, arms crossed and watching with what I can only describe as his most sympathetic, waiting it out until Glen exhausts himself.

Then as he's escorting Glen out of the office he shouts back at Ollie, "Well at least he was Hugh's "Glen". Now you're just Ben's Glen."

The stories of an underappreciated retail employee.
http://cartjockeyconfessions.wordpress.com

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[–] 9 years ago

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