When Artie does the dead-on impression of the announcer at Yankee Stadium before his last at-bat. Just classic. It's still making me laugh.
'Ladies and gentlemen... your attention please. Now pitching for Mangenelli... Number 1... Needle-d!ck... Number 1...(longer pause) Needle-d!ck.'
I'm not a Howard Stern fan or anything-- just watched the movie for no good reason and it surprised me how much I enjoyed it.
Nice job, Artie.
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That was good but I lost it during this scene with dirt and his wife:
Wife: We've been married for 42 years and you can't tell me what happened at one bachelor party???
Dirt: *beep* off!
I was in tears! Dirt is the man!
This movie was hilarious. Definitely Artie's impression of the announcer at Yankee stadium was great. The bachelor party scene was awesome. I liked the whole first day sequence with the game, them drinking then going to the diner then Artie waking up with Linda. I thought that Artie's conversation with Linda the morning after was friggin great.
shareI don't quite know why, but that part in the diner where Artie & Linda break up is hysterical to me. First, Linda's hysterical breakdown (The phrase "Fat *beep* *beep* @$$#----!" in particular) is the start of the funniness, then the waitress' "Chubby Chaser" line brings it home.
sharethe $hit with his mom was funny too. like when he was getting a bj in the car and she came out (i dont remember her exact line, but it was funny) or when the chick said "this time youll have to use a rubber or pull out" and the mom was right there again saying something.
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I thought the part where Ralph Macchio ordered some healthy-diet meal at the diner and the waitress said "Ok, you want a Side of co ck with that? Seriously, we keep 'em in the freezer they're great" was gut-busting, she needs to be featured more in RENO 911!
shareCouple of other funny lines:
There's a joke Artie tells to Jerry Minor about point guards...I can't remember the joke exactly
Then when Artie and Linda are talking about religion and he says his mother wants him to be married by a priest and he says as a compromise he'll get married by a justice of the peace who's also a child molester
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The scenes with the waitress were classic:
Rhonda: Do you want a side order of c*ck with that?
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Artie: Did you ever notice they always have a Happy Waitress Special? Have you ever seen a happy waitress? They should call it a bitchy divorced broad with two kids who lives in Linden special.
Rhonda: Some parts of Linden are nice.
Artie: Oh, hey, Rhonda, I didn't mean nothin' by it.
Rhonda: Not the part I live in.
Good call, dougherritt! i also cracked up over Dirt blowing cigarette smoke in his wife's face before telling her to *beep* off"
LOL, i thought the funniest part so far was when they all ask about hte bachelor party and the old dude Dirt's wife goes
"we been married 43 years and you still wont tell me what goes on at one bachelor party"
and Dirt goes *blows smoke in her face "F U K off"
Absoloutely....Lots of funny parts in this movie..which is not one of my alltime favorites, but the part when she asks him about the bachelor party and he tells her to *beep* off was freakin hilarious. A must see comedy!!
shareso many little things had me in stiches
quality film
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the scene with dirt and his wife, where he told her to "f--- off" was defintley the best. this movie is great.
share"ehhhh whos got a percocet?"
shareBach party. Artie goes to girls father to smooth things out, Dirt swoops in for the coke, says "Cheap *sh*t* & goes for more anyway.
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That was great when the camera panned over to the little kids standing next to him laughing....
sharei liked when after the batchelor party Manganelli walked over and artie said look mangenelli i know why your here and im not gonna let you blow maz....just hilarious raw humor.
shareThe comment about all of the NY Mets being peurto ricans is fantastic. And true....
Dirt blowing smoke in his wife's face and telling her to f*k off is classic
actually thats not tru... yes there are a few, but the mets are mostly dominican republic... and no 1 talks about the ,mets like that. yankees are all chinese and japanese and korean. They have an asian based market and we have a latino based ,market. Whats the big deal?
Well anyway i think the funniest part is wen evry is at the jail and the black man asked y is he the only 1 in jail
actually, it seems to me that the yankees only have 3 asian players...wang, igawa, and matsui...i could be wrong...but it appears that the mariners or the blosox are the ones with the asian fan base, what with ichiro and dicegay matsuzaka...i could be wrong tho...i don't think i am
sharethe yankees have one more asian than the red sox. so you are wrong. but i dunno i mean i could be wrong tho i dont think i am...
anyways
definitely when nick dipaolo walks in as a boston cop and says, "hey black guy, lemme get some coke." hahah that line among others was great.
I love any scene with Dave. I love it when he strikes out and gives himself the finger or when he strikes out and just throws the bat. Hilarious.
"Is this the MPLA, or is this the UDA, or is this the IRA; I thought it was the UK."
best scene
Dirt: Boy I wish I was 35 years younger
Artie: yeah yeah so you can kick my ass
Dirt: No so I could give money to your parents for an ABORTION
Pwned
or when Dirt says
Dirt: Boy, I've *beep* bigger guys than you in the service
Artie: Alright guys calm down..did Dirt just say he use to *beep* guys?
The abortion line rules. I gotta use that one in the future...
"Sometimes Malvert pee red."
Artie DeVanzo: Come on let's get this guy! Let’s get this punk! He's nothin'! He's a loser! He's an *beep* A cock sucker! He's a total piece a *beep*
Dennis Mangenelli: You shut up fatso!
Artie DeVanzo: Hey, watch the name-calling!
Fav Beer League line
"When I was in the joint, I *effed* guys bigger than you", said by the little old man, Dirt, to the big frat-boy type guy who then averts his eyes
Artie's funniest Stern moment: The Mad TV "Pig Story"
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Artie and his girlfriend think Artie's mother can't hear them having sex. They're banging away yelling crazy stuff and Artie yells "Punch me in the back!" "Harder!, HARDER!!!", then says softly "O.K., thats too hard"
"You're going to have to make this fast and concentrate."
"I'll be Jack Barry."
"Who's that?"
"He was the host of Concentration. Nevermind, just blow me."
i liked the scene with arty and his girl in his room
"these walls are sound proof, trust me"
then shows his mom with the cross above her. and you hear "almost there, almost there, almost there... GRAB MY B@LLS!, pinch my nipple, punch me in the chest"
lol
it was Hugh Downs not Jack Barry.. but still one of the funniest parts.. and when he slides in to 3rd and the guy calls him a retard and he says well then your mom must like to blow retards..Classic
shareWhen he's having sex with linda and his mom heres him saying "Pinch my nipples" that was hilarious
shareArtie is giving the guys some carisma after they start practicing and Dave swings and misses as usual, Artie says "You know what Dave?! You could be left handed" or when Dave strikes out and throws the bat and says in a disgusted voice "I can't wait to go home and get high"
shareI really like it when Artie hauls off and drills one to left field even though there is a shift on. He just stands there and admires his hit, forgetting to run to first base, and he is thrown out by a step. I wasn't expecting this movie to be this funny, I just watched it today and I loved it!
shareI like how Johnny always tells Maz that his daughter is a terrible dancer, and then he and and his wife are watching her on the lawn, and he's like, "atrocious."
sharethe terrible dancer thing was great. but, i loved "the pitching machine doesn't eat dairy".
shareThe line about making the guy on top of Maz's cake one of the Puerto Ricans from the Mets instead of Jeter kills me, but my favorite is when Maz orders the egg white omelet. Artie's line about that order being so gay it could legally marry a dude in Massachusetts is freaking hysterical.
shareMy favorite lines are:
The kid neighbor makes a comment to Artie and then Artie throws his bat at him. In the background you hear the kid say, "Thanks for the bat"
Or at the game the kid was writing on the mayor poster and calling him Herpes.
The other part was when the cop showed up at the bachelor party and scares everyone. He then says, "I had you guys going didn't I? Okay where's the coke at?
At the police station when the copy asks, Are there any more questions? and the black guy rises up from behind the bars and says, " Yeah, why am I still locked up in jail? I was rolling after that.
The best line in the whole movie was something like "thank god you got arrested or you would of brought the pitching machine to my wedding!"
sharemy favorite part is when after dirt's dead, artie throws his first pitch, and it goes to the guy who's playin shortstop and he's like eh heh hehhhhh....what the *beep* are we doin here
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