mike's mom

This has nothing to do with sainthood. It has to do with duty, having a heart and sense, and being a friend. A family friend of mine was going to leave her negligent husband; however, when he had a heart attack, she put aside her feelinhgs and new life she planned to care for him.

I also grew up with older parents, who were born at a time when duty outweighed one's own personal desires. Plenty of times, I asked my mother why so and so didn't leave her husband or ungrateful parents to live her own life. My mother's reply always had the word "duty" in it. Back then marriages lasted forever, even if they shouldn't have, because of an oath that was made. Brothers and sisters took in their younger siblings upon the death of a parent, despite the hardship or personal time it would take away from them and their new spouse. Sacrifices were made.

My mother tirelessly an unselfishly took care of sick relatives her entire life, even some of whom didn't treat her very nicely, including her own mother, because it was the right thing to do -- an no one else would do it.

Carrie could at least been there for someone she used to love -- and still does -- although not in the same way.

I'm not saying she should give up her entire life. I just think that she could have ended it better. Of course, it didn't help matters that Mike told his friend about Carrie's kiss. Had that not happened, they may have been able to have a talk, and Carrie could have eased her way out. I rewatched some of the movie, and Carrie even admitted to Kilroy that she should have at least said good by to her friends. (When Mike told her to get out, I don't think he actually thought she would get out -- of the state.

I felt that that the movie jumped around a lot, and didn't show her transition from her life with Mike to her life in New York. (There were big gaps when I saw the movie. There was no good bye or separation between the two.) From what I've read from other posters, the book portrayed her in a better light. But I didn't read the book and I am basing my observations on the movie.

In the movie she says she's not writing him off, but that's what she did. I'll give you this, though, Whitespirit, of the two characters, Carrie and Kilroy, she was the better of the two in terms of caring and regret. He couldn't commit to anything but a physical relationship.

In case you're wondering, Whitespirit, I too sacrificed sleep, vacations and time with friends to take care of my mother when she was sick and dying of cancer. Not because I wanted to look better to or than others or to myself, but because it was the right thing to do, and no one else would do it. My older sisters were in their own world the entire time. I have a disability and I am limited physically, and they could have at least helped me around the house.

Now, years later, while I wish I could have done more for my mother, I know I did what I could and I'm at peace. My sisters aren't. I tell them that bettering their lives now would please my mother if she were here, but unfortunately, they're stuck.