WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM CATACOMBS
I wrote this even though i saw the movie til the end but i still think its necessary.
1. Even though it is called a catacomb my friends and i and the police will always be able to find our way in and out the party if we memorize the trail and stay in a group. Better yet lets break out the new map.
2. If masses of people are turning up missing from going to the catacombs i will continue to go there for the hottest raves.
3. 7 million dead wow let me be the first to party there because that totally beats out any other cool bar or dive they have in paris.
4. Serial killers never have clean living quarters.
5. Everything tastes like chicken thats why he kills them.
6. Bringing several medications with me on a flight will induce laughter amongst customs agents but not flag me as some psychotic person who might spazz out and cause a ruckus.
7. I am modern enough to wear a goat mask, set up a light sensor system, clothe myself in cool doc marten motorcycle boots and jumpsuit but will run with a 1890's looking lamp that could easily break instead of flashlight when chasing my victims.
8. I can walk aimlessly around counting and hopefully find my way out.
9. I can fall down a flight of metal stairs and not get a concussion or any kind of broken bones and get right back up.
10. I can be found by a strange french man and will assume he is not working with the serial killer nor will i ask him what he is doing in the catacombs.
11. Said frenchman will not speak english but when asked "is this a map?" he will respond yes/oui.
12. Also if same frenchman flashes me an evil grin and darts away i will continue to follow him.
13. Every chance i get i will scream and yell and make as much noise as possible especially when trying to avoid capture.
14. If i break my leg,smash it again several times without breaking it any further i will not pass out from pain but will have enough strength to pull myself out of a hole and attack my friend lol.
15. Rats are mutes and only make noise when disturbed.
16. Alleged rotted wood can be broken through with ease but snap likes it freshly cut.
17. Paris has a f--ked up dirty arse underground.
18. If i scream "leave me alone" the killer might take it to heart and find another victim.
19. Even though i started all the trouble thinking it would be good mental therapy for my already crazy sister i will be mad as hell at my sister for killing who she thought was coming after her.
20. Even though i was being chased by an alleged serial killer and my adrenaline level was past red i couldnt face him. My sister yells at me when i am semi calm and i flip out and kill her and her lame friends.
21. This movie was sort of ok with the ending.