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The role of the male in Mutual Appreciation

posted 17 years ago by worldpoetics
15 replies | jump to latest

One thing that I noticed that is lacking in the discussions regarding Mutual Appreciation is the role of the male. In Lawerence's case his character is always treating his girlfriend in the most deferential tone, asking her opinion on many things repeatedly to make sure she's ok with it,hiding behind her physically when Alan wants to punch him, and when she finally tells him of her feelings for Alan he takes it in very cooly and then asks what kind of tea she would like! These are just a few examples, I am sure I could provide a list of ten more. In Alan's case he is made to dress like a woman, has a general affected and effeminate tone in his gestures and in his speech.However, none of this bothers me I have seen enough Derek Jarman and Amoldovar films to make me desensitized to this gender reversal. What I am interested to know is if you guys think Bujalski made these males act in this way for specfic aesthetic/philosophical reasons, or was it simply that the males he knows act this way in real life so he just basically played it true to life, with no hidden motivations in mind.Ideas?

[–] adster780 17 years ago

I think Bujalski is reflecting a certain type of 20 or 30 something male you see around these days. Maybe even himself. Generally indie rockers/art students/hipsters/grad students/whatever you want to call them. They tend to be emasculated, skinny, and have shaggy hair. Often the girls they date tend to have a more dominate personality, possibly bisexual, shorter hair usually only slightly longer than their boyfriend. I'm not exactly sure what social conditions breeds these kind of young men. I'm assuming it's that anyone in the arts or "creative type" is generally more sensitive than the average person so they might develop more feminine traits even if they are straight.

[–] rasbrryswirl 17 years ago

good point about this kind of male that you feel exists today.

"Often the girls they date tend to have...hair usually only slightly longer than their boyfriend."

although you may have not meant this to be funny, but i thought it was.

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] rasbrryswirl 17 years ago

i'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, i just have a few questions, and wondered if you might like to discuss your comments.

i'm wondering how you think oedipal overtones relate to friendship/relationship boundaries. my understanding is that anything related to oedipal goes back to the parents, but i could be wrong...? maybe you know more about it than i do.

ha ha - girls with "gender/power issues" - do you mean dominant females? just curious.

also, you say that Alan was manipulated? can you give an example of this?

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] rasbrryswirl 17 years ago

That makes sense - the whole situation relating back to early life.

I forgot that that girl was so pushy. Thanks for pointing that out. I thought the "you smell" comment was just her being a blunt, rude person. I didn't like her personality, but that's a whole 'nother story.

Wow - I don't think I noticed the "Little Lord Fauntleroy" comment. I remember the eunich comment, and the "you come into my house" speech. The begging was nearly unbearable.

You thought Ellie was attracted to his assertiveness? That's an interesting perspective. I hadn't thought about that.

[–] rasbrryswirl 17 years ago

i think i agree with adster. i was struck by how the characters reminded me a lot of people i've encountered, so i'm not sure he did any of this consciously, to make a statement of sorts or anything.

but, then again, i didn't really read the males in the way that you did, so, i don't know. it's an interesting point, though. i appreciate you bringing it up.

now, i am an "art girl," though, so i don't know what that says about the people i know. :)

[–] jhalley-1 17 years ago

I can't really think of anything earth shatteringly brilliant that the director was trying to say about the roles of males and females in this film, but I agree that it was a very important part of the movie.

I think the most consistent (and boring, interpretation and intention) is of reversal of stereotypical roles. Not only the dress thing, but the fact that the women in the movie drive almost all of the action of the events in the story and the men are only objects of desire (yawn) Anyway, I get the feeling Alan moved to Y because his ex wouldn't have him any more, the radio girl makes the first move and kisses him, gets him a drummer, ellie makes herself alan's manager, forces herself on him etc etc...

Also, some blatant role reversal with lawrence reading the stories of hurt women.

I think his message in this movie is the truth of what I see among my friends; for the most part power in a relationship is not shared it is heavily shifted in the direction of the woman.

The scene were Alan and Lawrence were talking over beers at the end though. Here, Alan is telling a story about he meets this tall rocker in the record store. I'm divided on how I feel about the significance of this story: has he found the courage to make the first move with a woman, or is he further submitting to women "I think the band needs a femine...it's too masculine"

This is interesting, but I thought there were certainly more interesting elements of the movie, but I guess they more stylistic or conceptual. The gender issues seem to be the only theme.

[–] brokeaccount 17 years ago

Isn't Alan the one to ask Ellie to be his manager, and doesn't she seem kind of reluctant to do it at first until he convinces her? Also he comes pretty close to forcing himself on her; she admittedly does make the first move by telling him she wants to kiss him, but he's the one to initiate actual physical contact first and doesn't stop after she tells him that they shouldn't be doing it.

[–] jhalley-1 17 years ago

As far as the manager thing; I don't remember, but as far as who pursued who. When she drove him home that night she was definitely being extremeley forward. Before that Alan seemed relatively well behaved and certainly didn't seem to be starting up a relationship.

[–] saferibbon 17 years ago

I think part of why the girl moves from lawrence to alan is becasue lawrence is kind of fusty and dilly dallies and doesn't assert himself. He is the one who brings up 'love' all the way through the film - and shes' bored as hell cause he's a pussy.

[–] kevinis40 10 years ago

That scene for me was one of the few where Im sure my suspicions were right on target. While we can go two directions with the "morning after scene where we see Lawrence's girl (I cant recall the character's name) but we see her emerging from Alan's room. Alan could have shagged her or she him for that matter (given his propensity hide behind a facade of shyness when feeling action on his part is required)nonetheless they could have done nothing. The arch of the movie suggest either reading. However I read that they had sex. Hence, Alan's story is but a lie to throw Lawrence off the trail of guilt he has over sleeping with Lawrence's girl. He either makes up that incident of meeting a tall "rocker chick" to suggest he is coming out of his shell. Or he has found the means of coming out and its Lawrence's girl. He must hide that.

This reading is reinforced to me when he orchestrates the big group hug at the end of the movie. Its a front to avoid the awkwardness.

Making A Living Seeing

[–] teapotasterism 15 years ago

I really don't think there is any overt symbolism that Bujalski wanted to highlight drive drive any "message" or interpretation. He's expressing "nowness" and the youth generation just as Cassavettes tried to do with "Shadows" and Godard with "Breathless". I definitely know a lot of people who expressed similar existential and psychological traits as a lot of the characters. I just think symbolism is something that is forced and not very deep and not something Bujalski intended to use in any of his films.

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[–] Demian Cypher 14 years ago

The OP's question assumes the desirability or 'rightness' of male assertiveness, while also implying there's something wrong with the qualities he calls 'feminine'. Why bother trying to still see the world through the lens of old gender stereotypes (which are harmful to men as well as women - sometimes a human being wants to just be a human being, and not have to "be a man"...)? And why, after obviously fixating on this aspect of the film, state that it doesn't "bother" you and you're "desensitized" to gender reversal (as if gender reversal were some kind of disturbing, negative thing, like violence)?

Bujalski may not have had "philosophical" reasons for this (the idea that everything in a film can be 'read' as a cultural statement is one of the main fallacies of what passes for film theory these days!), but may have simply been reflecting realistic human behaviour, where both men and women are active sometimes and passive other times.

[–] kevinis40 10 years ago

@ Demian Cypher

While there may not be any danger in men who have opened up to their vulnerabilities in life, the fact that a society such as ours is undergoing a transitions is not a luxury a film maker toying with role reversals can afford to ignore,. Such a perilous journey had best be made by a well known film maker who has already secured an audience for his films. Therefore I feel the audience here on safe ground to characterize the feminine attribute of both Alan and Lawrence to be note worthy here.

With Alan he uses is demeanor to suit his ambitions. He would rather watch females suffer as they advance upon him. Lawrence on the other-hand is a "pussy" to use the term of an earlier poster. He does not have the wherewith all to confront Alan's subtle though they may be) advances on his girl. Alan is an opportunists who thrives on the popularity he generates among fans and friends alike. He is solipsistic.

Moving on to another aspect of the role reveals and how they are used within the plot. We see the representatives of the old school in both Alan's father and Walter. Both have lead successful lives. One is without children because he probably devoted his time to his career and is left along yet surrounded by art and books. While the other (Alan's father has managed to raise a son) We do not meet Alan's mother but we do hear of "his parent(s). I will not comment on why as they seems moot. But the fact that these other males are older and engaging suggest they have mediated the terrain these Lawrence, Alan and the drummer have yet to figure out. The drummer was a cool dude and seems to be a visitor. His coolness informs a guy more representative of the passing cool guy. He does not need the greasy hair nor the tossed disheveled look.

Both Alan and Lawrence seem to mimic the lesbian woman who while she disbands the accouterments of femininity (trading dresses for pants and perfume for drabness, they conduct themselves in a manner more like the other. Men in our era seem to be going along that way...this gender bending is performance and character study.

Making A Living Seeing