MovieChat Forums > Friends with Money (2006) Discussion > Aaron: Gay or not gay?

Aaron: Gay or not gay?

posted 16 years ago by triviadude
42 replies | jump to latest

The guy that everybody thought was gay, was he gay or not? And if he was, then why the hell didn't he know it? And don't tell me repression, this was set in California, from what I've seen in the movies nobody's repressed in California.

And if he was gay and didn't know it, is that why his wife's so unhappy? Or is she just depressed? (She would certainly meet DSM-IV criteria). Of course if your husband's gay, and either does or doesn't know it, that would certainly cause depression.

Anybody out there with very good gaydar that's seen this movie?

Wait, I believe he had an British accent. Everything British (except Austin Powers and James Bond) seems gay to me. Maybe everyone else thought in the movie thought so as well. That could explain it.

[–] user-4748 16 years ago

No I do not think he was gay, no do i think him having anything British makes him so.

[–] artistathome 12 years ago

He was not gay and he knew he was not gay. he seemed baffled by the signals he was sending.

Whe he was trying on that sweater, and the guy asked him out, he showed the guy his ring. I cannot imagine that being the right reaction if you are totally straight. In other words it seemed Aaron understood he was talking to a gay man, and yet he was still curious as to WHY gay man was asking him out.

For Aaron the way he was, was natural for him. He was an effiminate man.
Kind of an Alan Alda type. Remember those actors in the 70s and 80s?
Finally Aaron met some other guy like himself.

They accepted their wives being in charge.

the wife was menopausal obviously. You don't stop grooming yourself for NO reason.

[–] Alexander_Anderson 16 years ago

Everything British (except Austin Powers and James Bond) seems gay to me

That's one of the most stupid thing I have ever read

Eat my coolness.

[–] a_bientot_105-467-230804 8 years ago

yeah, what a horrible and idiotic thing to say @@

[–] tinasparklesau 16 years ago

he is a gay-straight man! He seemed to have plenty of passion for a woman with dirty hair, a banged up nose and a bad attitude. He's gotta be straight!

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] neverletyoupart 16 years ago

She didnt have a bad attitude.. she was depressed.

In any case, yeah, I think he was straight.

[–] tinasparklesau 16 years ago

i dont think there was enough character exploration to determine whether she was actually 'clinically depressed' or not but hey anyone in a bad mood is just suffering from depression these days anyway.

[–] mojojones77 14 years ago

I SOOOO agree with you on that. <any of the characters were quite 2D and not explored enough.

[–] butaneggbert 9 years ago

People who spend months too emotionally lethargic to tend to basic hygiene are not just "in a bad mood".

In fact, it's one marker of clinical depression.

[–] rstephen52 13 years ago

"Aaron" was definitely not gay, nor even bi-curious., just an artsy-type guy who enjoys a variety of different experience, such as going out on what is ostensibly a "date" with another guy. The "other Aaron," however, could be defined as at least a bi-curious married man and I believe his wife realized and was understanding about this based on impressions she got from dining with them in the restaurant. I would have liked to see him seduce "Aaron" by the time the film ended, but alas! this was not to be....

[–] mathmaniac 12 years ago

For Gawd's sake... not gay. He is genuinely surprised that the guy in the department store was trying to pick him up. I was surprised that a guy would try to pick up another guy because he was friendly, talked about clothes and fabric, and actually dared to take his sweater off and show bare skin. Sheesh!

Gay and doesn't know he's gay. That's like: I'm from Austria but I just don't know it yet. Mysterious. I grew up in America and always believed I was American - but if you say I'm from Austria, gee, I must be.

[–] biskvito 16 years ago

kinda pointless try to determine something even the film didn't

I knew a guy like him though, above average feminine, christian, married now :)

[–] AltaireIII 16 years ago

"The guy that everybody thought was gay, was he gay or not? And if he was, then why the hell didn't he know it? And don't tell me repression, this was set in California, from what I've seen in the movies nobody's repressed in California."

I don't believe he was gay. He was a straight man who exhibits some effeminate mannerisms. That does not make him gay. A former coworker of mine is very effeminate and he is not gay. BTW, I live in the San Francisco area. This is the easiest place on earth to be openly gay.

I also knew (he moved away) an openly gay man who was a lineman for the power company. You'd never know he was gay based on his mannerisms.

[–] SeemsSensible 15 years ago

I don't know whether or not the character was gay, and in the DVD commentary, Nicole Holofcener, who wrote it, didn't either. I will say that, especially in superficial LA, there is no way that all those hunky gay men who came in his path would fall all over themselves over someone like Simon McBurney, as they did in the movie. I mean, I know he's a respected theatre director, etc., but just on the basis of his looks, I think he was miscast as someone every gay man has the hots for.

[–] marxist_princess 15 years ago

I felt like the film suggested there might have been an attraction to that guy (I've forgotten his name) that he meets in the cafe and befriends, but he doesn't act on it, but at the same time it is suggested that he loves, and is physically attracted to his wife, so from that point of view, I guess he would be "straight". But I felt that the film was suggesting that that category is a little too simplistic.

"ART IS USELESS, GO HOME" (painting by Ben Vautier)

[–] napfeny 15 years ago

It wasn't the accent.
It was the manners.
I don't think he was gay, as in he daydreams about having sex with men when his wife is sitting by his side. One can tell he truly loves her.

the universe...is indifferent

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] michreese 15 years ago

I would call his wife "hormonal" not depressed. And yes, I think he could be easily lured into a gay relationship although he's been hetero up to this point. He was enjoying that movie date and dinner with the "other Aaron" a little too much for a 100% hetero male.

"we'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away..."

[–] WarpedRecord 14 years ago

Wait ... James Bond is straight?

I find everyone's obsession with Aaron's sexual orientation in this film (and this board) quite curious. He's British, polite, cultured and open-minded. If he were straight, I'm sure he could deal with it and wouldn't use his wife as a beard.

I was actually more surprised that Other Aaron was straight -- or was he?

[–] jneedleman 14 years ago

I think the two Aarons meeting one another and emphasizing each other's straightness despite their clear mutual attraction and beyond-metro interests were meant to be ironic.

There are men everywhere who can't admit they're gay even to themselves. It isn't just something that happens in Oklahoma.

His dutiful and loving relationship with his wife didn't mean he was physically attracted to her. He did call her his best friend at one point, and part of her anger at the world might have been due to her not feeling sexualized by him.

I'm not saying he was definitely gay (as opposed to bisexual). I'm saying there's a strong possibility.

I have mixed feelings about the casting. On the one hand, it wasn't quite believable that gay men in LA would make the sign of the cross whenever he walked by (though I've seen many exhibit fetishes for odd types -- if only women did that more often). However, he was charming in ways that made people warm to him, and his somewhat ordinary appearance made him seem natural as everybody's friend. If he'd been conspicuously handsome, the friend dynamics would have been too uncomfortable.

I also appreciated he worked against the stereotype of Those Chilly Brits, whom you see in a lot of formulaic comedy (even British comedy). The only people I've ever known who were really like that were incredibly bitter. Making all Brits look stiff and prissy is really just a form of anti-intellectualism.

[–] WarpedRecord 14 years ago

Excellent post!

There's a great divide between Hollywood filmmakers, who are presumably very aware of "who is and who isn't," and their audience, who presumably is less aware (at least in the filmmakers' eyes). A lot of characters appear to be written both as gay, for those who read subtext, and as straight, for those who don't. So they reach out to a gay-friendly audience without alienating an audience that would be less comfortable with it. That's exactly what I think this film does.

As for which Aaron was gay here – or both or neither – this is of course a piece of fiction, so it's left to the audience to discuss. A lot of gay men are more interested in domesticity than in sexuality, and for better or worse, many find that domesticity easier to achieve with women. I certainly see that as the case with Frances McDormand's Aaron, who fell into the caretaker role quite easily. I couldn't see him being sexually attracted to her – or to any other woman, for that matter – but I also suspect he didn't see men as desirable companions.

As for the other Aaron, his character is not developed for me to make any assumptions, other than the speculation than he and Frances' Aaron could make quite a pair, with whatever that entails.

[–] punchbear 12 years ago

Like.