maxine was ridiculous. i did try my best to try and like her but she was a pretty ignorant person.
i was so angry when she tried to invite herself to india. i dont care what your culture is that way to personal for her to be invited to. also did anyone else think she was a hypocrite when she said "you guys cant stay with your mom forever". doesnt she basically live with her parents?
I agree, I really didn't like the way she acted after his father's death. Who says that type of stuff? And don't try to initiate a fight...
"Will, I told you...If you live with a hetero long enough...You're going to catch it."
Yes, I definitely found it not a nice thing to say ("you guys can't stay with your mom forever"), but I did not find is strange that she wanted to come to India too. I think that shows that she was very serious about her relationship with Gogol. She saw him as family and wanted to do everything that comes with that. She saw a future with him. It's just that she had different ideas about how and how long to mourn when family members pass away.
shareNo, she saw him as an individual WITH a family and didn't fully comprehend that marriage would mean marriage TO a family - full binding to, and caring for, the mother in particular.
She meant well, but she just didn't get it. And neither do the vast majority of Western posters on this board, judging from what I've read so far.
The whole point - she did not have a relationship with Gogol, she had a relationship with Nick. He met her at a time he was avoiding his family and his identity. Once he realized that, Maxine had no place in his life at all.
-"fuzzy"
I am guessing the book probably went into more detial. Obviously the outfit she wore to the memorial was really out of place, but other then that I couldn't see what was so wrong with her. Maybe because I personally have the typical ABCD thing going, but I was rooting for him and Maxine and hope he hooks up with someone else.
shareThe book does indeed go into much more detail on Maxine and Moushimi than the film does. These are very interesting characters who play a crucial role in Gogol's life, who sadly come across as a bit empty on-screen, because Nair was more focused on putting the parents' story across.
shareIn the book by Jhumpa Lahiri, Gogol has two girlfriends prior starting to go out with Moose,and in the film, I think that Maxine, the film character, has qualities from these two different characters, Ruth and Maxine from the book.
I'm really glad they left the ending ambiguous, he may have gotten back with Maxine, or found someone else.
I knew that other chick was a whore after that kitchen scene.
I thought Maxine was really supportive of Gogul, she made conscious efforts to understand his family's culture, despite it being so different from her own.
The best was when his mother asks him initially to get back with Maxine, despite being raised in India, she understands its her son's life, not her's.
She didn't see her prospective mother-in-law as an integral part of her family-to-be.
Gogol did the right thing. I would have advised him to do the same.
I didn't like her at all and was glad they broke up.
shareWhat bugged me the most is when he tells her how to be respectful in his parents home and she totally disregarded it because she thought it was ridiculous. And then everything after the dad died. ugh. she made my skin crawl.
shareyou know in Maxines defense her and Gogul were pretty seriously dating. He knew what kind of person she was and he loved her for that. I do think that she acted a bit insensitve when his dad passed away. He was pretty harsh with her though, he didnt even see his parents the whole time that they were dating. I kind of wanted them to get back together. Maxine was weird but i thought the way he dumped her was out of line. Instead he married Hoe-bagel Moshumi (sp?)
shareExactly. Who would want a partner whom is disrespectful to ones parents and their culture. At least she made him recognize that his values growing up were the ones that he chose to have in his life, post Maxine.
Be well and be kind
I got a totally different Maxine than most of you.
When she first meets Gogol's parents, she not only brings a gift but also has studied up on Bengali, because she asks Gogol's mother about her sari, and I thought she also spoke some Bengali to both his father and mother.
She seemed to be really trying to fit in with his family. I don't think she acted badly at the funeral ... I'm not sure she was invited, it seems she was just delivering Gogol's clothes and stuff from their apartment in NYC to his mother's house...at his request.
She seemed genuinely brokenhearted when she left the home after the funeral.
I liked her very much and hoped that they would get back together.
I thought that if Max loved, and much less genuinely cared for Gogol, and the reverse were true, she would have learned more about the rituals and customs of Gogol's culture from Gogol...then again, when you're young, passionate, and, perhaps, exploring the world around you and a bit selfish...
shareWell Gogol wasn't really into his culture so its not like she would have gotten exposure to it from him. Even when he was married they weren't hanging out with Indian friends.
share[deleted]
I <3 ur post! I thought Gogol and his family's treatment of her was somewhat impersonal and harsh!
sharei thought maxine made a lot of sacrifice and did a lot to blend in with gogol. imagine there is also pressure from a WASP family for dating someone non-WASP, and she had tried all she could for this relationship.
it was gogol who failed to get the message from his dad, and forgone this gift to him. but given the vast cultural difference, their relationship may not end up anywhere, anyway. perhaps that is what the author wanted to say.
"Well Gogol wasn't really into his culture so its not like she would have gotten exposure to it from him. Even when he was married they weren't hanging out with Indian friends."
Right. Although Maxine came across as annoying and insensitive, you can't totally blame her because the whole time she dated Gogol, he was never the traditional Indian guy and in fact was acting carefree and westernized just like Max.
So when the dad died his personality did a complete 180 out of guilt, which showed, and Max wasn't ready for it. She still thought he'd be the same type of person as they were dating. He was a lot to blame for that because had he not shunned away his family and culture away from him the whole time they had been dating, she might have reacted differently.
Also I thought it was interesting how the mom told him maybe you should give Max another chance.. because that's the life he enjoyed living up to that point but his guilt made him change his mindset so much he he wanted to stay traditional just to please his parents that he married that annoying Indian girl.
"No you don't, you like Taco Bell!"
I wouldn't completely call it "guilt" so much as an awakening to the worth of his father and by the same token his father's culture. I can tell you from personal experience, strange things happen to you internally -- and fast, too -- when a parent dies. Revolutions and evolvings in how you view certain things...and it can happen overnight during the grief of a significant death. And it's not always guilt that drives these changes; it's because the loss of a significant and meaningful person in your life can have an impact on things you formerly thought of them, and of your family, and of the world and your place in it, and even your culture. I know I suddenly had overnight changes of heart about a couple of key things in MY life, when my father died.
Gogol's loss and grief awoke the nascent cultural pride he always really had in seedling form. He still went on to incorporate a more western sensibility, as we see. But just at that moment, at his father's wake, with Maxine being overly "c'mon!!" (in fact I found her to be incredibly dismissive of his grief when they were alone talking in his room) Gogol suddenly felt like he'd had enough of her poor understanding of his culture. Yes she had read-up a little back before that first meeting with his parents -- I'll give her that. But she still kept forgetting the "no touching" in the house, and although she was pretty respectful at the wake in general, when she was alone with him it was almost like she was trying to brush it all aside and "gee" him up into cheerfulness and even some fooling around -- which is completely insensitive when someone is in the first full flush of grief, no matter what culture.
I'm not Indian, but when I lost both of my parents, the people I knew who tried to smile it up and gee me up came across to me as horrendously disrespectful to my grief, and I reacted the same way to them as Gogol did to Maxine, and mine wasn't even a culture issue, just an issue of them acting like a dismissive moron when I was in the height of grief and need that to be respected.
I was glad to see her gone.
When I think up a decent sig...I'll let you know.
"But just at that moment, at his father's wake, with Maxine being overly "c'mon!!" (in fact I found her to be incredibly dismissive of his grief when they were alone talking in his room) Gogol suddenly felt like he'd had enough of her poor understanding of his culture"
I agree.. but although if he had been more "traditional" thought out their relationship.. he wouldn't have had that look on his face after she tried to make it about her.. he looked like "Are you serious.. my dad just died and your trying to make this about you? OMG.. why the hell am I even with her.." He just stayed quite and perhaps because he knew it was his fault she was even there and being a brat to boot..
Now if he showed her when they were together how important his family was to him, (which he didn't do).. she may have been on egg shells the whole time or at least knew how to act.. But she figured he was the same fun guy no matter what.. Yes it was stupid on her part to assume that.. but he made her think that..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnoSLDmxjXc&feature=related#t=486
She inquired about the sari only because her mum studied textiles (she was a curator of textiles at the Met) and she knew a little about it. She didn't research anything. She also bought them things that they would never eat. Truffles? Just a way to rub in her wealthiness it seems.
shareWhy wouldn't Indian people eat chocolate? Goes good with Tea..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnoSLDmxjXc&feature=related#t=486
it wasn't chocolate. it was the really expensive truffles that grow in the ground and you need special pigs to sniff around and find them. i haven't a clue what an Indian person would eat them with.
shareTruffles as in, those expensive mushrooms that pigs dig out of the ground... not the chocolates.
I would prefer the chocolates myself...
Yes, the (expensive) gift bag just seemed rather empty as a gesture, and the items in the basket seemed sort of deliberately careless as though Maxine was just trying to send a message, "It is the first time I've ever met you, and I want to convey two things: I am from a wealthy WASP New York family, and these are the sorts of expensive, generic, conspicuous consumption things we give as gifts." I noticed that Gogol followed Max around as she was randomly picking up items in the shop; she never relied on Gogol for guidance about the best sort of gift to bring (and of course we know that she didn't heed any of the things Gogol told her about what was considered inappropriate such as the displays of physical affection -- planting kisses on both parents, especially Ashoke, when they were visibly uncomfortable was clueless at best. It seemed rather condescending).
She did seem to try a bit harder later on after Gogol's father died, but she also was sort of callous when she talked to Gogol at the wake, and she displayed asuperficial and status-conscious sensibility in general, and she didn't seem capable of loving Gogol in a very genuine way. Of course "Moose" was much worse as she understood Gogol much better and she knew that he trusted her and adored her, and that their families were ecstatic when they married. She seemed resentful right from the start. From what I could tell the massive amount of anger and resentment Moose displayed toward Gogol (shown in many ways but symbolized by her turn to "Pierre," blurting out Pierre's name, and her extreme hostility when she told Gogol that she had turned down the position at the Sorbonne) didn't have to do with him at all, and it seemed so cruel when she knew that Gogol loved her deeply. It seemed like she was using him as an excuse to rebel against traditions she didn't like -- and of course that wasn't fair to Gogol. I felt crushed and so sad for Gogol when his marriage to Moose fell apart. In the long run his life would be happier not being married to someone who treated him in a way he didn't deserve and punished him for wrongs he did not commit, but wow was that harsh and heartbreaking.
"Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I am talking about the central nervous system!"
I don't recall Maxine speaking Bengali to Gogol's parents. Also, she asked about Ashima's sari because her mother works in textile at the Met, not because she studied up on Bengali culture.
She may have tried to fit in with his family but she was culturally insensitive. Although she was charming, there is a huge rule of no affection infront of desi parents that Gogol warned her about, yet she did it. Kissing Ashoke especially was a big no no. Also, straight after Ashoke's death she tells Gogol he cannot live with his mother his whole life. Not very sensitive.
She loved him and she was trying very self-consciously to adapt to Indian culture. But her attempts at biculturalism, while sincere, were very shallow. She just didn't FEEL what it meant to be an Indian self in relation to an Indian family and couldn't find it within herself to adapt.
shareI completly hated that b******** She was so vapid and obnoxious. Her parents as well. I loved how her mother cluelessly introduces "Nick" as the Indian architect. It was disgusting. I hated Maxine's social/cultural insensitivity. If his parents don't want touching and kissing, don't touch or kiss them. And in what world was she raised to think it's appropriate to call someone elses parents by their first names without having been invited to do so???
I was very very happy when they broke up and he should be with an Indian and not Maxine.
"I hated Maxine's social/cultural insensitivity. If his parents don't want touching and kissing, don't touch or kiss them. And in what world was she raised to think it's appropriate to call someone elses parents by their first names without having been invited to do so???"
Again.. Gogol is also largely responsible for that.. because the whole time they were dating he never showed any traditional side of him.. so when his dad died... and became Mr. Traditional Indian Son.. she was actually unprepared for it and assume he'd be the same Nick.. (Gogol).. and he wasn't.. She wasn't 100% to blame.. maybe 60%..
Think of this.. Had she been completely understanding and gave Gogol all the time he needed.. Gogol might have dumped her anyway.. Because he was feeling so guilty for what happened and forgetting who he was.. Stupid but it's true..
"No you don't, you like Taco Bell!"
You don't know what you are talking about so spare me, ok? The things I mentioned were all before his father died and has nothing to do with being "traditional" it has to do with common sense and courtesy, none of which that dumb bi***** Maxine had.
shareif she was so bitchy by nature then why did Gogol put up with her and even take vacations etc with her and do the whole serious relationship thing.. because he liked her that way.. he was behaving in the same manner for all that time up until his father died.. then he changed..
No matter how Maxine would have acted... he was probably still going to dump her..
"No you don't, you like Taco Bell!"
I didn't like the way she was portrayed. As over needy and annoying. She didn't seem like that at first. The introduction of her is when the film began to totally fall apart IMO
shareShe was not a bitch. She was a self-centered person.
Let's just say that God doesn't believe in me.
I do think that that was the point about Maxine though. At first she seemed fun and carefree and that's why Gogol likes her-- she's not like his family, but after his father dies he comes to a realization about his past and his family and suddenly the audience and Gogol realize how ignorant and different Max is from Gogol.
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