MovieChat Forums > Just Friends (2005) Discussion > Has anyone ever escaped the 'friend zone...

Has anyone ever escaped the 'friend zone' ?


Just curious. (For the record, I haven't)

reply

I wish.. I had a thing for my best friend for almost a year now. I thought we were out of the "friend zone" after everything we did together this summer.. if you know what I mean. But, I found out today through a painful conversation that we're not.
My advice: it's better to stay in the friend zone, then ask stupid questions because at least one way you'll stay friends
I have no clue what's going to happen now. I would give anything to be back in the friends zone than where I am right now.

reply

haydenaddict, I say give it a brake for some time. f you were only friedns and you liked her is more payinfull for you, this way you can move on, go for other girls, and from my experience after a while when you haven't seen her it's easier seduce her, and she will not longer see you as a friend, as long as you don't act the way you acted when you were friends

"Enjoy yourself -- every day above ground is a good day."


reply

Thanks for the advice Vidike =) I'll give it a try..

reply

yea i actualy have
dated for 7 months, now we dont talk

reply

my best friend actually. we were best friends, he asked me out, i said yes, and we ended up dating for a few months.

http://friends.stardoll.com/r/585fea280907102a9649
<---sign up & dress up 400 diff. celebs

reply

[deleted]

[deleted]

Bottom line: Human nature sucks. Generally, we want what we can't have or what is hard to obtain. When a girl finds out that a guy likes her, it often takes away from her desire for him, if any was in place.

It is very hard for two people to get on the same page in "love," whatever that term means. The whole best friend thing? Sh*it, that is what man and woman should strive for. What better relationship is there? Lust doesn't last (any long term relationship reveals this). It is just limerance.


And, I mean, look at the divorce rate. There is so much evidence that when it comes to relationships, people do it all wrong. As bad as the divorce rate is, it doesn't even take into account all of the people who stay together because of the obligations of life. It is a joke. People constantly say, when you meet "the one" you just know. Obviously, the divorce rate proves this is not true. There likely is no "ONE" for everybody.

If you can find someone of the opposite sex whose company you genuinely enjoy, that is what should be acted on. But women are given all this external crap about "the perfect" man. He doesn't exist. It is unrealistic. Nothing is worse than unrequited love and I have experienced it. Many want to feel wanted, even at the expense of a dude's feelings. It is hard for man and women to ying and yang, so flip the game on them.

God forbid you are nice to a woman, too. A guy gets punished for this. Too nice? Would you like me to slap you around? I by no means am a push over, but for years I did not feel the need to treat someone crappy because I did not want to be treated crappy, and without regard to consideration. This logic fails on women.


Now, I just don't care. Most marriages go to crap anyway. see: nomarriage.com and http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/marriage/ and http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/13/044102.php

I have shifted my focus to making money, buying nice things and giving into my instincts, not unlike Daniel Day Lewis' character in "There Will Be Blood." If I meet a woman who has the capacity to understand what marriage is, who actually wants to marry for the right reasons (and not for some ring and who will still felate me after the union), then I would go for it. Other than that, forget it. Forget dating where the girl has intentions to only be friends. Do not extend that courtesy. Get a hooker. At least you'll pay for something worthwhile!

MOB! It is too bad I like women, otherwise, I just would not care. Apparently, I do. Play them.

reply

The lunch thing is actually good advice from the movie... for future relationships.....to stay out the friend zone... you have to make it clear to the girl that you're not into being her friend. don't hang out for no reason, don't let her talk about other man (when she tries to tell u about man problems, just tell her u're not interested in hearing about her man problems). It's a little jerkish, but u let them talk about that stuff.....it's over. Don't go shopping with them, and just hang out in the evening and never ever hang out with her and another guy.

the important thing is just be up front... i have friends that girls......but when girls that i'm fiending for try to make me into a friend....i just tell them that i don't make friends with girls....and it sends a message.....u may not get have u're way but atleast you're not going to break yourself.

reply

Damn friends zone... even it's cold and painass what seub says... he's right

Comic Book movies Fan

reply

I asked this girl out. I was so nice to this girl, complemented her, you know stuff like that, and we were on christmas break, and I thought I was gonna have to wait the whole break n I was a friends house who lives by her, and I turned around and looked back when we were walking and i said wouldn't that be funny if that was her. Sure enough it was. She came up to me and said "I think we would be better off friends." I smiled like an idiot and "ok". THE FRIEND ZONE SUCKS @$$!!!!!!

Stupid ppl do stupid things smart ppl outsmart e/o then themselves

reply

wat a lame.......

TRiPoLi
10-10-10

reply

You dont even know me dude. You're acting like you're my neighbor. This was a serious board. You're lucky I don't have my friend Eric come after you. He knows Tae Kwon Do

Stupid ppl do stupid things smart ppl outsmart e/o then themselves

reply

wat a lame...

TRiPoLi
10-10-10

reply

hey none of you have been labled "great guy, and really good friend". now that sucks. And the messed up thing is this movie is the story of my life. I was a big 270lb bastard in november of 2005 it is now september and I'm 150lbs and this "friend zone" girl won't even think about letting me get into the good zone.

reply

Holy cr@p! You lost 120lbs, almost half your weight in 10 months??? What did you do, saw your legs?

Seriously though, back to the friends thing, I think the other posters here have it right: You should lay your cards out ASAP. Now of course you can't make someone be attracted to you, but you can decide if you want to hang around someone after they've rejected you.

I wondered if anyone here has ever escaped but it seems no one has.

reply

I escaped it once, but she had cancer and had no other choices.

reply

I always start off in the 'Friend Zone' with girls. It's not up to you to really change it per say. It usually takes some time before you know you are going to stay there or not. Basically if she starts seeing someone else within a month of meeting me then I give up but if she's not open to meeting someone else then she's obviously waiting on YOU to do something. This is still on a case by case basis because some girls you don't want to wait on at all and some girls you'll want to wait for longer for.

reply

I escaped it once. But it was right before I moved away, so it was sort of bittersweet. Glad it happened, yet, frusterated that it had to happen right before I move away and not years earlier...

reply

"I escaped it once. But it was right before I moved away, so it was sort of bittersweet. Glad it happened, yet, frusterated that it had to happen right before I move away and not years earlier..."

i find this post funny because in the "Girls (or guys)...has a 'friend' ever said they liked you." forum one of the stories said they lied to a friend and said they liked him because he was moving away soon.

check out the forums for free stuffhttp://www.rewards1.com/index.php?referrer_id=19847

reply

Recently watched this one with a girl that I'm probably in the friend zone with now. Gotta help my chances, right?

reply

probably not......

TRiPoLi
10-10-10

reply

A guy in highschool was in love with me. It was grade 9 , he started hanging out with my friends to get closer to me then ended up in my friend zone. We were BEST friends..we did everything together.. But he didn't say a damn word to me until 5 years later!!!! Which I really didn't understand.... but he said i was just way too intimidating... After I found out.. I fell completely in love with him... We started dating for a few weeks... then the roles changed a bit.. I was completely mad for him and broke it off, because i was afraid of ever losing him... stupid mistake.. our freindship became very on and off .. mostly off when one of us or both were in a relationship. 6 months ago he and I started becoming really close again, I had just got out of a relationship and he was with someone and happy. His girlfriend lived in another city.. so they hardly saw eachother, and him and I were together everyday. Literally 2 weeks ago, his girlfriend told him basically that it was obvious something was happening between us... and yes she did freak out, but She acknowledged she'd never have that kind of relationship with him, and said it was clear that we should be together. Needless to say, he agreed and they split up. Now we're taking things slow and trying again. And it's absolutely amazing... It's hard to believe I missed out on 10 years of him..... I guess the moral of the story is that.. no matter how long your in the friend zone, if it was meant to be the situation will unfold naturally itself..

.... for the guy who said to be straight up and says he isn't looking for any girl "friends" ... thats a good way to get her to realize your an ignorant, shallow person a lot faster... all women are looking for a lover who IS their best friend also... just a little fyi

reply

.... for the guy who said to be straight up and says he isn't looking for any girl "friends" ... thats a good way to get her to realize your an ignorant, shallow person a lot faster... all women are looking for a lover who IS their best friend also... just a little fyi


Don't you think it's a bad idea to pretend you're something you're not though? If you want to be more than friends with a girl, shouldn't you make that clear early on? I don't think that necessarily makes you an "ignorant, shallow person" (unless you act like a perv while doing it).

reply

[deleted]

.... for the guy who said to be straight up and says he isn't looking for any girl "friends" ... thats a good way to get her to realize your an ignorant, shallow person a lot faster... all women are looking for a lover who IS their best friend also... just a little fyi
I don't see how that would make a man shallow or ignorant. He's just being upfront about about his feelings. And if she doesn't respond in kind, take your loss and move on.

Derek

Save The Cheerleader...Save The World

reply

nope, but then again i aint bothered cuz i do things with my mates anyway and we still stay friends even though i'm still infatuated with them.

I like to put my bum on things!
Johnny Depp is Sexeh!

reply

Yeah I've been in the friends zone of a girl I really liked. She would even call me her "brother", just like in this movie. But she ALSO had a tendency to flirt with me and lead me on into thinking we could be more. The bad thing was that she was after this really studly good looking guy, and I guess I couldn't blame her for being after him. I suppose if I was a chick I would swoon over him too. She eventually did hook up with him and I tried to pretend like it didn't bother me, but it sorta broke my heart. I was devasted for a while, because she put me in the friend zone and then I saw the guy she was after. The three of us wound up having the same class together in college. I felt like I couldn't compete with him at all. I wish I had never seen the guy she was hooking up with, it was just humiliating being around him. Absolutely humiliating. I would ask her all the time if she wanted to get together and study and she said she would think about it, then I would find out she was studying with that studly dude.

But what really pissed me off was her telling me about him all the time. That SUCKED. I don't want to hear about some other guy. After awhile I would change the topic and she would get the hint that I really don't want to hear about him. I think she picked up that I liked her in a way more then just being friends, and that I was embarrased by her new stud boyfriend. I've let go of thinking about her all the time, and I'm actually content with being her friend. I don't want to think about trying to get her anymore and it just makes it more easier, we're still friends and that is cool.

So I think there is something to taking rejection and moving on to other women. Constantly pineing over one girl may payoff for some guys, it looks cute and works in the movies, but I think it's best to be able to handle rejection (which what the "Friends Zone" really is) and move on to other women.

reply

[deleted]

yes actually, i got out of the friends zone, but now we are broken up and not even friends anymore.

reply

[deleted]

killinyallsuckas,

That is a FUNNY story. Kinda sad, but also funny. You kinda got your revenge, didn't you? Go boy!

reply

[deleted]

great story cuz

reply

The friend zone is an unescapable vortex of disappointment, sadness, and sorrow. Much like a black hole which sucks up everything including light expect it sucks out all happyness, hope, and confidence from a man. Dont ever let yourself in this position if you do, run!!!!

Some men have escaped the friend zone, they will tell you horrible stories that will make any seasoned veteran cringe in pain.

I have escaped the friend zone once, needless to say, it was hard, rough, and not worth the effort in the end. There were casualites too....1 red surpee, $24 in phone bills and 3 months of summer vacation. Save yourselves!!!

reply

My cell phone bill was probably higher than yours the summer I graduated, which was only for one month instead of three, which all pretty much went for naught, so that sucks donkey balls.

How's the situation now for you?

reply

I wish... I had a thing for this one chick who was and still is good looking whom I was in fact actually friends with. We would do day dates which didn't take place that often, so I had no idea what she actually thought of me, though I was always nice to her. The only exceptions were that she was my senior prom date (we went to two different schools) and an after prom date to Six Flags which took place the entire day and went into the night with dinner and a movie at her place. I even told her how I felt when I took her home after prom, but she didn't seem to care that much. Though I tried not to let it bother me that much, after all I didn't want to impose on her to start a relationship with me since we were set to go to different colleges that weren't nearby.

That took place in summer 2005. The last day date we had was a breakfast at a local diner this past summer. Our summer vacations started at the beginning of May and I had to go back to school at the beginning of July. She didn't have to go back to school until September. We talked about hanging out since before our vacations started and we didn't do that breakfast until my second to last day home, which was the only time we actually did something together that summer. After that, we've barely spoken since, so my feelings seem to start fading away.

reply

Once...ruined the whole thing. Barely talked with her for the past year and half now.

reply

Well my friend claims that she never really responds to anyone's instant messages and never picks up her phone, but since she hasn't talked to me in a while, I have no idea whether or not she still likes me. Though we'll probably end up talking eventually when I see her over Thanksgiving break and she'll be acting all nice and whatnot and probably so will I cuz I'm used to acting nice to her.

But how did u ruin urs?

reply

i've got out of the friend zone once, but now we barely talk.

reply

i've got out of the friend zone once, but now we barely talk.
Hey, me too.

And I am so happy to be out.

Derek

Save The Cheerleader...Save The World

reply

I have a REALLY cute guy friend named Andrew. I like him, and he seems to like me.
My friends (who are also friends with him) have dropped a few hints that he likes me. Like one time, we were at lunch, and there was a puddle of water on the table. My friend says "Andrew, just because Megan turns you on doesn't mean you have to drool over her." We laughed it off and everything, but Andrew's face was a little red for a few minutes.

Just today, we were in gym class. Andrew and I were just playing around, kicking each other and stuff like that. Then he said that I was gonna "get it". So I tried hiding behind my friend Vanessa. I was all like "Vanessa, a little help here!" She says to Andrew "I know you want Megan, but don't stalk her!" We just kinda ignored that one. Later, the same thing happened. tHis time, my friend Kathy said "If you guys want to kiss so badly, just do it!" I told Kathy that we are just friends, and she shrugged and said "Whatever..."

Soorry my post is so long, but I need people's opinions. You think he likes me? If so, should I ask him out?

P.S. He also does things like playfully hit me, he sits next to me, walks with me in the school hallways, waits for me by my locker, and looks at me every few minutes in class. He also asks me to go with him whenever he goes down to the school library. (Don't ask why...)

Cody: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Zack: Chiuahuas have freakishly large ears?


reply

He definitely likes you. It sounds like you are in high school, which is an awkward time for boys. He's probably very shy and unsure of himself. But there's no doubt he's interested.

If you are the type to ask a guy out, then go for it!

Let me know how it turns out...

reply

All I need to hear was "He also does things like playfully hit me". Above all else, that's the sign. He likes you...

And your friends probably make those remarks because he confided his feelings to you or maybe, from an outsiders presepective, they can just tell he likes you.

Either way, make a move or tell a friend to tell a friend to tell him to make a move (hey, you're in high school, right)

Derek

Save The Cheerleader...Save The World

reply