MovieChat Forums > Surrender, Dorothy (2006) Discussion > curious about opinons of gayness in this...

curious about opinons of gayness in this movie

posted 18 years ago by bruce-129
12 replies | jump to latest

diane keaton has been in two movies i have seen recently, this one, and
the family stone which normally and prominently portray gay couples.

what i am wondering is does this seem weird?

first, are there really that many gay people around that this is average
or some kind of normative thing. i have a cousin who is gay and has his
partner over to family get togethers all the time, but there is really
never much mention of gayness, let alone silly jokes or allusions to it.

second, is what i just mentioned ... those of you who do have gay family
of friends, do you always have these obligatory jokes, and is the topic
always just right under the surface as it is in the movies?

for instance, the song, brown eyed girl ... where the gay friend complains
that he never cared for a brown-eyed, blue-eyed, green-eyed girl ... yada-yada.

is this irritating to always have to be politically reminded of gay people.
are the moviemakers trying to be helpful telling the world how to treat
gay people, or what?

just wondering what you think?

[–] appaloosalover2003 18 years ago

idk what to say lol about that.... i myself am a lesbian ...yes Diane has played in a few gay oriaented movies...but i dont find it weird.There is more and more gay's coming out now and days ...so i think its just that movie makers are feeling like its ok to come out and use gay's in movies.

Diane Keaton the most beautiful & Talented Actress ever!!

[–] bruce-129 18 years ago

I guess I feel like the gays parts are so stereotypical and often
not that integral to the plot that someone is either pushing an
agenda or trying to be politically correct ... or trying to score
marketing points with a consumer segment of the market. it just
feels so forced.

i wonder also what movies you are talking about when you say -
gay oriented ... i did not think family stone was gay oriented
thought there was the dinner argument scene.

if you do not mind my asking - how often does your lesbianism become
and issue in your life on a daily basis - say in some dramatic way?
is that a good thing for you or not?

[–] appaloosalover2003 18 years ago

Yeah i see what you are talking about in the movies XD.....The Family Stone was not totally gay oriented...it just was ONE of the issues in the movie...which made that movie so great....it sounds weird but i would give anything to have a family exacally like that.My family is great dont get me wrong......i have one Aunt that i can trust with my life she is my BESTFRIEND.anyways sorry i tend to go off topic lol....umm life for me being a lesbian is great i have so many supporters and i have the greatest girlfriend any lesbian could ask for.I do go through life hearing things like ewww look at those lesbians or gay guys....but the problem is those people saying that think we are just gay so we can do nasty stuff with the same sex and that we are just gay for "pleasure"....but that is soooo totally wrong. Take me and my girlfriend for example we have been dating 5 months july 21...and we have never kissed or so much as held each others hand...its just that feeling of having someone there that really makes it worth wild.My girlfriend and i are bestfriends and dating and its great.So not to much drama has taken place yet but im sure there is some to come...but hell with them people against who i am, im Me and im happy with my life and thats all that matters to me.....anyways lol love to hear back from you.....ever want to, just e-mail me at dreamin_of_tommorow im very open to answering questions

Diane Keaton the most beautiful & Talented Actress ever!!

[–] bruce-129 18 years ago

> and we have never kissed or so much as held each others hand...
> its just that feeling of having someone there that really makes
> it worth wild.

Hmmm ... interesting and thoughtful answer.

Don't get me wrong but sometimes I think that "gayness" has not that
much to do with sex ... maybe more so with women ... but more to do with
either - habit, or trust, fear of or inability to relate to the other
sex, or lonliness and seeking fellowship (ladyship?). I only say this
because of the little I know that there are some gay sex fiends, but
most seem somehow removed, different, outside and want someone mostly
for support. Not everyone may be that way but seems like from what you
said it might fit.

I did like the dynamics in the family portrayed in family Stone ... which
was I think the point, not just the family but the people. Now ... what
gets me about movies and real life is ... is what we see in the movies
possible, and how much are people in the modern world deluded and disappointed
by what they see and resonate with in the movies?

So back to my main point, when we portray "gayness" in movies, do we even
know what is being portrayed, and in the "art" of the movie, is it art if
it is unconscious of saying something false. I suppose that is the crux of
my point, art should be honest, movies are art, so care ought be taken when
injecting some element of "reality" of what people want to be reality into
a movie.

[–] appaloosalover2003 18 years ago

I think the movie does shows alot what gayness is in reality....look at the two gay guys ..in the movie they dont make out or really show any sexual realations between them..you just know they are gay.Like i have lesbian friends and you would never know they where gay they have never kissed or held hands in my presense that i know of.Yes some people are gay i think because they are scared of comitting to the opposite sex and it can be scarey...but thats not the fact with me...i just am attracted to the same sex ... i cant really explain it.Like i can think a guy is cute but i just cant see myself with that guy......but like when i see a girl that i am attracted to i can see visions of myself being with that girl...its sounds weird but its just how it is.I think you are right when saying lesbians are less into the sexual aspects of gayness ...unless you get the pigs who are sex fense....but with girls its more of ya know the girl you are with is like a really great friend and like you hear girls and there other friends that are girls can talk about anything with eachother and that is really what most of us lesbians are...just bestfriends who just happen to be more than friends.

Diane Keaton the most beautiful & Talented Actress ever!!

[–] LilRed_RoRo 17 years ago

Hey! I'm really sorry if this offends you but if you've been going out five months and you don't even hold hands or anything it kinda sounds like more of a friend relationship than a romantic relationship to me. Or do you just mean in public?

And btw it is possible to have sexual relationship (straight or gay) without being a sex addict. =)

[–] bruce-129 17 years ago

I think he or she gets to characterize their own relationship.
What is it to you anyway?

[–] LilRed_RoRo 17 years ago

Nothing really I'm just tend to say what I think :S. Anyway, ignore it if it offended you. And btw the poster is a she as she said she was a lesbian. You can't have male lesbians :P.

Anyway, I'm not trying to start a fight or anything so please don't take anything I say the wrong way, I'm just a blunt person.

[–] bruce-129 17 years ago

I'm not offended, I just wondered why you think you can
make judgements about other people's view of themselves
unless you know them.

Blunt is OK, I like appropriate bluntness .... there's
a difference between blunt and obtuse.

[–] LilRed_RoRo 17 years ago

Eh, chill out. I'm not making a judgement, I said something like 'it seems to me'. So, by that I mean that's how I'd feel if I was in her position. I didn't say "this girl is your friend not your girlfriend". I was inviting her to elaborate on her point and tell me why I was wrong. I wasn't saying anything insulting. =).

[–] mathmaniac 13 years ago

I've known two female 'couples' who were the closest friends you can be for over 30 years. They all married men and stayed the closest friends with their female 'partners' although the relationships were totally non-sexual. One had a child with her husband, one did not have children, one married a man with children, and the other had a large family with her husband.

Not at all lesbian. But loving, giving, trusting friends.

[–] WarpedRecord 13 years ago

Bingo! This movie strikes so many false notes, it's hard to know where to start. The gay people I know don't talk about being gay all the time, unlike in this film where they can't help but insert the obligatory gay reference into every conversation. This is the product of lazy screenwriting.

I think screenwriters have mostly gotten past the point where racial minorities have to talk about their blackness or their Asianness constantly in films, but we're not quite there with gays and lesbians. This film certainly isn't.

This is a reminder of why I never cared for the sitcom "Will & Grace" (in addition to the characters being totally vapid). Too much talking, not enough doing.