THINGS WE LEARNED FROM WATCHING 'THE PERFECT NEIGHBOR'
1. If you find someone snooping through your things, it's acceptable to shove them down a flight of stairs.
2. After stalking someone on the internet, make sure you delete the browsing history.
3. Women that ask too many questions and make too many accusations deserve to lose their husbands.
4. Always assume when a married man and his co-worker have adjoining rooms on a business trip, they're having an affair.
5. Fix a guy pie รก la mode and cognac if you're trying to seduce him.
6. Donna wouldn't say Ashley is beautiful.
7. Donna needs to enroll in an anger management class.
8. When being questioned about your co-worker's murder, a good alibi to use is that you were in bed with your wife.
9. Donna doesn't make any sense.
10. William, Trish, and Donna are going to be a family, and there's no place for Jeannie.
11. A husband who cheats on his wife doesn't deserve a second chance.
12. William and Donna are soul mates, even though William doesn't realize that.
13. No one is going to take William away from Donna.
14. A good way to get closer to a guy is to cut yourself with a piece of glass in order to get him to fix your injury.
15. A single woman living alone should keep a gun in her house for protection.
16. No man ever loved Donna enough to stay.
17. Grace doesn't know anything.
18. Grace makes killer popcorn.
19. Donna loves to cook.
20. If a married man won't leave his wife for you, you should kill him.
21. Whenever Jeannie sees Ashley, she will smile her most dazzling smile.
22. What Donna does is none of your business.
23. Just because someone lies about going on a job interview doesn't give you the right to snoop through their things.
24. To tell the truth, Grace isn't important to Donna.
25. Donna has recognized her anger and she is keeping it. It's the only damn thing you can't take away from her!
26. Donna needs to get a hold of herself.
27. Donna always wanted to be in show business.
28. William and Ashley ought to get a room.
29. Donna makes a habit of skipping lunch.
30. Who William spends his birthday with is a big deal.
31. Jeannie doesn't care about Ted Grimes.
32. Ashley is burnt out.
33. Always check to make sure your niece doesn't drug your ice tea.
34. It's completely safe to talk on your cell phone while driving.
35. Sal has a date with a male person and is hoping for a sleepover herself.
36. Trish and Donna are buddies.
37. Donna would love to stay with Trish Tuesday night or any other night.
38. Guns scare the crap out of Grace.
29. A burger would be fine for Donna.
30. No one gets out alive without seeing Trish's doll collection.
31. Trish is a kid--she goes to school.
32. Donna needs to get a job.
33. Jeannie loves papaya juice.
34. William is smart, charming and handsome.
35. William and Jeannie throw the most wonderful lawn parties.
36. Grace doesn't open an envelope unless she wins 10 million dollars.
37. What's a jiffy?
38. Trish will be playing at Radio City before long.
39. You can call your neighbor your aunt without sounding awkward.
40. Donna's good at reading people's minds.
41. You just relax and let Donna take care of everything.
42. You shouldn't leave someone's house without finishing your cognac.
43. You can't give someone a massage without being sexual.
44. Workaholics are the worst type of husbands and fathers.
45. William is in love with Jeannie dammit!
46. Jeannie has a job waiting for her in New York. She will meet a man who loves her too.
47. Jeannie's stubborn.
48. No one will ever understand Donna.
49. Grooming someone for a job position is a euphemism for having an affair with them.
50. Killing Ashley leaves one more item on Donna's to-do list.