MovieChat Forums > Little Man (2006) Discussion > There was another couple in the NICU

There was another couple in the NICU

posted 15 years ago by Blon_DeWig
1 reply | jump to latest

Who decided to let their daughter go. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like, for the parents of the daughter or for this woman struggling so valiantly to help Nicholas survive any way possible.

I often wonder about that couple now, if they've watched this program, if they regret their decision, if they're at peace with it, etc. It certainly brings up some touchy subjects about quality of life, and one thought she herself had one night while looking out the window was very profound to me:

"When does caring become cruel?"

You don't always have to destroy a wounded animal. Sometimes you just remove the thorn.

[–] Ms_Ada_Monroe 14 years ago

I am a nurse who has worked NICU as well as home health/private duty for babies just home from the NICU, as Nicholas was. From my experiences I know that each baby is completely different no matter the gestational age at birth, current age, or medical problems. She could have had similar problems to Nicholas but overall had a harder time, coded more, etc. It becomes the decisions of the parents based on their own feelings towards the baby's progress, prognosis, and extensive discussions with doctors and nurses. No one goes in there saying they want their baby to die, only that they want what's ultimately best for the baby.

I'm reminded of an example of finally signing a DNR for a baby. He was 5-6 weeks old and had an incurable virus that his mother had been in contact with during her pregnancy. He was blind, deaf, had severe liver and kidney damage to the point where they eventually failed, and fluid would collect in his abdomen causing strain on his heart and lungs, causing him to have extreme difficulty breathing even on the ventilator. He was constantly having to have the fluid drained from his abdomen (think of someone sticking a needle in yours) and had a constant drip of several pain medications at their highest safe levels for newborns. It took his mother ultimately 2 1/2 months before she was able to sign a DNR. I cared for him, and I knew he suffered. The thing is, even if she hadn't signed that DNR the levels of the virus in his body would have killed him eventually, and very slowly and painfully until his body just gave up. He finally did die, with his heart rate and blood pressure falling one night as his mom held him one last time.

I've seen the 25 weekers less than a pound and late preterm infants with severe problems, and it's heartbreaking and tragic, but it's the line of work I feel chose me. And I will never judge someone for choosing to, or choosing not to, sign a DNR. It's personal, private, and something I hope I never have to personally do for my child.

"Anything worth doing's worth doing right." - A League of Their Own