Why do people keep saying 'Gay'?


I don't understand why people just don't get that bisexuality isn't homosexuality any more than hetrosexuality and homosexuality are the same thing? It gets really annoying that people seem to be willfully ignorant, even people who don't appear blatantly ignorant in most other ways still insist that bisexuals are really gay, or who refuse to acknowledge that bisexuality exist. This seems to be worst of all in the case of the gay/queer people, who seem the most beligerent and prejudiced. Even here when people are giving favourable reviews, they still refer to the guys as gay, even though the film they're reviewing is about these guys being in a relationship with a woman. :(

Anyways, I just don't get that. :(

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I don't like the feeling of being hunted... There's a lot more power in being the *hunter*.

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What defines someone as bisexual is attraction to both sexes, and at some point the act of gay sex. Is there such a thing as the act of bisexual sex!??

I kind of agree with you, but to say hetrosexuality and homosexuality are as different as bisexuality and homosexuality is just plain silly! hetrosexuality and homosexuality are clearly oppisite ends of the spectrum, and bisexuality is the middle ground surely?

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> What defines someone as bisexual is attraction to both sexes, and at some
> point the act of gay sex. Is there such a thing as the act of bisexual
> sex!??

I think you men "sex with someone of the same sex". By your logic (if sex between two men or between two women is "gay sex"), then I guess a threesome would be "bisexual sex", although I would disagree with this, as "gay" is an identity, not a sexual act. Labels are labels, and many people who are attracted to people of both sexes identify as either gay or straight, because it's socially easier (and in the case of men, it's a hell of a lot easier - less prejudice and ostracisation - to be gay than to be Bi). In any case, my point above relates to people referring to two men as "gay" when the two men clearly identify as bisexual. It is this beligerence towards bisexuals, continually referring to us as lesbians or as gays, that really, really, really annoys so many bisexuals.

> to say hetrosexuality and homosexuality are as different as bisexuality and
> homosexuality is just plain silly! hetrosexuality and homosexuality are
> clearly oppisite ends of the spectrum, and bisexuality is the middle ground
> surely?

I couldn't *disagree* with you more - heterosexuality & homosexuality are both forms of monosexuality, whereas bisexuality is (in my view, anyway) a much more evolved and mature view of sexuality and relating to people romantically, and is not about crossing off half the world. We're not necessarily more promiscuous or more sexual than monosexuals, but we are open to whatever loves and lusts exist in this world we live in. In some ways, Both heterosexuals & homosexuals both define themselves, not by who they love, but by who they *don't* love, or by who they're *not* attracted to, whereas as bisexuals, we are capable of loving anybody.

Anyways, gotta go.

S.

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I don't like the feeling of being hunted... There's a lot more power in being the *hunter*.

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Romantic love, to be in love with someone, not filial or platonic love. I thought that was obvious from the context, but if not then there ya go.


I don't like the feeling of being hunted... There's a lot more power in being the *hunter*.

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Gee, "more mature and evolved"--and you wonder why lesbian/gay people and bisexuals are often at odds? You suggest it is a matter of choosing to "cut off half the world"--how nice that you have finally, single-handedly solved the question of the origins of sexual/romantic attraction! Maybe the truth is we love whom we love for complicated reasons that are biological, cultural, psychological, and historical--I don't know that a person who moves between men and women is anymore "evolved" or "mature"--I'm sure such people can be just as selfish, narcissistic, closed-off (what about the bisexual who only desires and loves skinny people?), it just shows itself in different ways. The gay man who loves white men, black men, fat men, skinny men, men with disabilities, working class men, men who are lawyers, and so forth, may be just as "open" to love in his way. And who's to judge the woman who only seems to love other women who are under 5 feet tall? How is any of this an issue of morality or health?

After viewing the film, I'd say the men were, at fade out, primarily homosexual in their attractions, but had obviously felt deeply for and were sexually active with women (and one particular woman) at times in their lives. I find the word "bisexual" itself equally divisive--it suggests that the individual moves simply between two of the sexes in terms of romantic love/sexual attraction. Actually, some recent research by psychologsts suggests that, for many people, there can be a very strong division between sexual attraction and romantic love. That both Sam and Steve by the end of the film seem quite clear that they will only seek out same-sex partners is a fairly telling point--that of course it does not negate what they had with Samantha. What it may suggest is that queer theorist Eve Sedgwick is more correct than she knew when she talked about the history of men using women as a kind of intermediary in all kinds of ways--she wrote about this mainly in terms of the way heterosexual men have used women as currency to work out their rivalries and sometimes buried homosocial/homoerotic feelings--it seems that Sam and Steve may have done the same with Samantha. It seemed to me as if Sam simply had a deep need to be surrounded by affection--the more the better--perhaps because of his horrifying father, that Steve probably went along because he felt coerced by Sam or was just bored, and Samantha was flattered by the attention. That doesn't mean that it couldn't or didn't grow into something authentic, nor that its dissolution means that it was all a lie. But it may suggest that there was more than simply a utopian ideal of polyamory going on there--just as the polygamy in Big Love, however it presents its picture of sister wives, is also always about patriarchal control of women's lives and bodies. By the end, I was equally tired of all three--and wondered what the hell it would be like to be their kids.

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Yes, bisexuality is a middle ground in a matter of speaking. On the other hand, bisexuality has components to it that are different from both homosexuality and heterosexuality... Therefore, all 3 are completely different from one another.

And if you want to look at this even deeper, there are many, many, many different variations of bisexuality. So even limiting sexuality to 3 different catagories is missing out on a lot.

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This is breathtakingly biphobic! - and what a ridiculous comment, not to mention incredibly offensive - you're denying half of me, attempting to erase my identity. Bisexuality is even more different to homosexuality or to heterosexuality than homosexuality and heterosexuality are to each other, as they are both forms of monosexuality, "Either/Or" sexualities, whereas bisexuality is "And/As well".

In any case, you have no right to define for another group what we are, to attempt to erase our very identity. If we want to assert our identity, then it is not your place to tell us we don't exist. How ridiculous and offensive is your biphobia?!

And to draw parallels between us and criminals is also rude and offensive. Biphobia is no less bigotted that homophobia or any other type of prejudice, it's people like you that make this world unnecessarily unpleasant. Really, there's just no need for making prejudiced comments!

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I don't like the feeling of being hunted... There's a lot more power in being the *hunter*.

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There are some who believe that calling ones self "bi" is what many do until they are comfortable coming out of the closet.

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Eh, maybe that is the case for some. For many others it is the other way around, however - they come out as gay or lesbian first, and then come out as bisexual later in life. The singer Tom Robinson, famous for the song "Glad to be Gay", for instance, later came out as Bisexual. Another singer/songwriter, Skott Freeman, has spoken publicly of how he came out as gay to his friends and family when he was a teenager (18, I think), but after he turned 21 or so he "came out" as Bisexual - including to his boyfriend... He had been openly gay for those years, secretly hiding his "straight" porn from his boyfriend! :P

One of my exes did the same thing, too - when I met him he identified as homosexual, and we became friends, then a few years later he decided he was actually bisexual, and came out accordingly! :)

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I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off me, you two!"

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The idea of bisexuality is mostly an afterthought to 'people' since it's the homosexuality that is creating the need to develop this term.

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I don't understand what your post means. Do you mean that the concept of bisexuality only exists because of homosexuality? Or do you mean that people think "homosexual" when they hear the word "bisexual"?

If it's the latter, then I think that's one more reason for bisexual visibility and for us as bisexuals to demand our own place, separate to "gay" or "queer" space, but I guess that's a whole other issue there. :)

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It's so sad that an entire family can be torn apart by something as simple... as a pack of wild dogs!

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A bisexual act without any homosexuality is a heterosexual act. Bisexuality does not exist with out it.

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I'm very happily bisexual, I'm not a lesbian. Why is it that people keep wanting to tell US who we are - I know my sexuality better than you. :(

There is homosexual, there is heterosexual and, guess what? There is also bisexual!

Watching TV shows doesn't create psycho Killers... Cancelling TV shows creates psycho Killers!...

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The validity of bisexuality isn't the point here. Both men make it quite clear at the end they are homosexual, and that Samantha was a failed experiment, with Sam admitting it was an attempt to be part of 'normal' society.

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[deleted]

bipolarpoet,

I agree with you that: when someone has sex with someone of the SAME sex, it is categorized as a homosexual sex act.

but what you are failing to realize is that: the very next day, that same person can go and have sex with someone of the OPPOSITE sex, which is categorized as a heterosexual sex act. so now what do you call them??

when defining a persons sexuality, you can't look at just ONE sexual encounter, you need to look at MANY sexual encounters (to get a true accurate answer).

you decide if someone is either a Bisexual, Homosexual, or Heterosexual by looking at how many heterosexual sex acts they've had and enjoyed, AS WELL as by looking at how many homosexual sex acts they've had and enjoyed.....

If homosexual acts are a definite majority (say about 75% of the time), then the person is a Homosexual. If heterosexual acts are a definite majority, then the person is a Heterosexual. If both acts are prominent (say 50/50 or 60/40) then the person is a Bisexual.

I think it's rather easy to define what a Bisexual is. They are people who typically engage in both homosexual sex acts, as well as heterosexual sex acts. They aren't Homosexual - Homosexuals enjoy only homosexual sex acts. They aren't Heterosexual - Heterosexuals enjoy only heterosexual sex acts.

so, bipolarpoet, as well as anyone else involed in the sexuality discussion....Bisexuals have homosexual sex, as well as heterosexual sex. It doesn't make them Homosexual, and it doesn't make them Heterosexual...it makes them Bisexual :)


{A strong spirit, a tender heart}

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Your definition is very limited.... It is NOT just who you have sex with that defines your sexual orientation. The thing that most defines your orientation is (A) who you love (romantic love), (B) who you are attracted to.

Think of it this way... A 16 year old man who has not has sex with anyone might be heterosexual, homesexual or bisexual. The fact that he has non had sex yet does not erase his sexuality. People merely ask him who he loves and/or finds attractive.

This does not change simply because a person becomes sexually active. There have been men who grew up thinking they were straight (and even had relationships with married a woman) only to realise later that they were gay or bisexual. There have been women who grew up thinking they were straight (who had relationships with and married a man) only to find out later that they are lesbian or bisexual.

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Seems to me the three-way "bisexual" relationship broke down because one of the partners insisted on being "gay." This left behind two parents, one of whom is a straight woman and the other a gay man.

Both male protagonists in this movie refer to themselves as gay at some point. So why are you getting annoyed?

http://byronik.com

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