No Mercy 2004 Review
Smackdown presents No Mercy 2004!! This show took place from Joisey and your hosts are Cole and Tazz.
Match #1
Singles Match
Eddie Guerrero Vs Luther Reigns w Mark Jindrak
Boy has Eddie taken a back seat. Reigns gets a short arm clothesline and Cole spends the match talking about how the guy had been stabbed shot and had his throat slit legitimately years ago. This guy's like Rasputin!! Eddie tries a headlock, but gets overpowered. Eddie gets whipped into the turnbuckles and then press slammed. Luther with the bearhug as Angle's new stooge Jindrak coaches outside. Luther hits a phantom big boot and he tries a chinlock. Eddie breaks with a mule kick then Luther gives him a belly to back suplex for 2. Backbreaker and Reigns works the back. Another backbreaker sets up a powerslam, which gets 2. He tries roll the dice, but Eddie fights out and uses his rolling verticals, suffering no ill effects from the previous back attack. Luther breaks the third and gives Eddie a good front suplex. Eddie rolls out to recover, and steals a nightstick from a "security guard", and puts it in his boot. He misses the frogsplash then fetches a chair and has a tug of war with the ref. As the ref takes it out he pops Luther with the telescoping nightstick and hits the frogsplash for the pin at 13:21. 2 stars.
Match #2
Cruiserweight Championship Match
Spike Dudley w The Dudley Boyz Vs Nunzio w FBI
They do some standard wrestling stuff. Nunzio sends Spike outside and hits an ugly dive on him. He goes up and gets shoved off by D-Von, which gives Spike 2. Spike goes to a full nelson, but Nunzio fights out, so Spike tries a rollup, which Nunzio counters for 2. Nunzio goes up, but gets dropkicked on the way down for 2. Back to the full nelson, but Nunzio reverses to a chokeslam (I HATE how just about every other guy is allowed to use the chokeslam) and makes the comeback. Backdrop suplex gets 2. Sicilian Slice gets 2. They fight on the floor and Spike gets backdropped, which gets 2 for Nunzio back inside. Backslide gets 2. D-Von tries grabbing the leg, triggering a brawl with Johnny the Bull, but Bubba posts Nunzio behind the ref's back and Spike gets the pin at 8:50. 2 stars.
Match #3
Singles Match
Billy Kidman Vs Paul London
Kidman stalls outside, so London dropkicks him into the railing and brings him in. Kidman bails, so London follows with a springboard moonsault. Back in, he slingshots in with a splash for 2. Kidman comes back with a straight kick to the face and tosses London into the post, then baseball slides him into it. He starts kicking the ribs and goes to an abdominal stretch. He goes to a surfboard, but London fights out, only to land in a gutbuster from Kidman that gets 2. Faceplant gets 2. Back to the abdominal stretch. London fights out, so Kidman stomps him down again. London blocks and gets an enzuigiri for 2. London tries a powerbomb but Kidman counters and gets 2. They fight on the apron and Kidman comes back in and tries a powerbomb, but London reverses to a rana for a very close 2 1/2. Kidman hits him with a dropkick to stop the rally and goes up, but then he changes his mind. Back in, London comes back with a superkick and goes up, doing his own version of the Shooting Star Press, but it hits the knees and Kidman finishes with his at 10:34. London does the internal bleeding bit and Kidman hits another SSP while he's strapped to a gourney. 2 1/2 stars.
Match #4
Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match
Rene Dupree And Kenzo Suzuki Vs Rob Van Dam And Rey Mysterio
Kenzo does a crap job of covering Bruce Springsteen just to piss off the crowd.
RVD starts with Dupree and they do some matwork and trade powerbomb attempts, which leads to a pinning reversal thing. Rob grabs a headlock and the faces double team and Rey gets a dropkick for 2. Dupree takes him into the corner and Kenzo comes in with chops, but Rey kicks him into the corner and dropkicks him. Kenzo bails and Dupree charges, so Rey dumps him and the faces hit the champs with somersault planchas. Back in, RVD gets 2 on Suzuki. Rob beats up on both heels, hitting Suzuki with a spinkick, but he goes up and gets sent to the railing by Dupree. Back in, RVD gets pummeled. Rob fights out with a high kick and makes the hot tag to Rey. He throws kicks at Kenzo and DDTs him for 2. Rey slugs away in the corner and springboards in for 2. Kenzo fires back with a chop, but gets taken down into the 619. Dupree breaks it up and tries a powerbomb on Rey, so RVD comes in and takes Dupree down to set up rolling thunder. 619 for Kenzo, and this time it hits. The ref is distracted with RVD and when Rey goes up Dupree brings him down, and Suzuki gets the pin with the ropes at 9:04. 2 stars.
Match #5
Singles Match
Kurt Angle Vs The Big Show
This take place MONTHS after Show threw Angle off a balcony, breaking his leg and cracking his head open. They have mostly ignored all that and now Angle is the bad guy and Show is the babyface. Angle used a tranquilizer gun on Show and shaved his head (Show mustve seen a gray hair and is now waxing) Angle tries leaving and GM Teddy Long says he will be fired from Smackdown if he quits. I don't get the big deal there, he can just go to Raw. The whole "lose and your fired" gimmick doesn't work well when you can just run to the other companies show. Show beats him up some more and Angle goes out for a chair, but Show boots it back in his face. Show pounds him in the corner, and then catches him coming off the second rope with a slam. Chokeslam is reversed by Angle, who just now starts getting some offense, as it's been all take a hit and roll outside for the past 5 or 7 minutse. Angle brings the chair back in and starts pounding the knee with it. Angle clips the knee and goes to a stepover toehold. He keeps working the knee until Show powers him off and a clothesline and slam set up the big boot, but Show crotches himself. Angle follows with the Angle Slam for 2. Angle finds the stupid tranquilizer gun from the previous segment on Smackdown but Show takes it away and breaks it and chokeslams Angle for the pin at 15:05. 2 stars.
Match #6
Best Of Five United States Championship Match
Booker T Vs John Cena
The title is vacant but Booker has been wearing it to the ring on every occassion. That's retarded. This series started at Summerslam but only the first and last match took place on ppv, the rest were at long forgotten house shows and Smackdown tapings. Slugfest to start and Cena takes him down for 2. Booker goes to a facelock, but Cena clotheslines him out of the ring. Back in, Booker hammers him down and throws chops, but runs into Cena's boot and gets clotheslined for 2. Spinebuster gets 2 for Booker. They brawl outside and Cena gets sent into the stairs, the Booker hits em. Back in Booker comes back with a sidekick and gets 2. Cena gets a crossbody for 2. Booker whips him back into the corner. Booker hits the chinlock and that lasts for a bit. Cena fights out with a suplex, but gets flapjacked by Booker. That gets 2. Booker tries another sidekick and crotches himself, so Cena comes back and a bulldog and five knuckle shuffle gets 2. Booker catches him with the Bookend for 2. He stops to get a chair then changes his mind and tries the ax kick instead. That misses, and Cena gets 2. Booker misses something and an FU gives him the title at 10:19. 2 stars. This mean't **** as Cena lost the belt to a new guy named Carlito in his debute match which only helped devalue another belt.
Match #7
6 Person Tag Team Match
Jackie Gayda, Rico And Charlie Haas Vs Dawn Marie, And The Dudley Boyz
D-von pounds Haas in the corner, but Charlie comes back with a hiptoss and dropkick for 2. D-Von backdrops him and brings in Dawn Marie, who shakes her booty at him. Jackie get's mad and comes in for a trailer park catfight. Bubba comes in, however, after a cheapshot to Jackie, and wants a kiss but Rico sneaks in and does the deed.........ew. Bubba goes outside to rinse and he tags D-Von in and Rico gets a backslide for 2. Rollup gets 2. Spinkick and back kick put D-Von down, and Rico goes up, but Bubba crotches him and D-Von chokes away. D-Von drops an elbow for 2. Bubba is still upset so he comes in to give the fruit an ass whooping. Rico comes back with a DDT and makes the tag to Haas, who backdrops D-Von and spears him into the corner. Exploder suplex for Bubba and a flying forearm for D-Von. Rico comes in off a blind tag with a high cross for 2, but the chicks go at it again. The Dudleyz try the Whazzup on Rico, but D-Von doesn't want to head butt a gay man low because "that's gross" but he's okay with doing it 3,000 other times for the past 6 years. Haas breaks it up and Rico superkicks Bubba to get rid of him, and Jackie spears Dawn for another catfight, before Haas hits D-Von with a crossbody to set up Rico's moonsault for the pin at 8:47. It was funny and entertaining. 2 1/2 stars.
Match #8
Smackdown Championship Last Ride Match
JBL Vs The Undertaker
The bad side about having the dead man back is they started bringing back all those dumb gimmick matches of the mid to late 90's. You win the match by putting somebody in the hearse, I bet theyre is a heel hiding in the thing. Taker slugs him down to start and pounds away in the corner, then drops an elbow and slugs him down again. The ropewalk follows and Taker keeps slugging and choking. JBL goes to the eyes and pounds UT in the corner, but Taker chokeslams him to end that rally. He makes the first try at dragging Bradshaw out, but he hangs on. Taker pounds him on the apron and drops the leg there, and they brawl in the aisle. Taker drops JBL on the railing and sends him into the stairs, and continues pounding him on the floor. He preps the table, but JBL uses the stairs to prevent him from using the table. Bradshaw boots him down as they fight up the aisle again, and another shot with the stairs follows. They head over to the hearse and then back down to the ring again, where JBL comes in via a flying shoulderblock from the top. Neckbreaker, but Taker uses the triangle choke on him. Bradshaw taps, but there's no submissions here. JBL is out and Taker then wakes him up and slugs him down and out again, and they fight over by the table again. JBL uses the stairs again and he tries a piledriver on the stairs, but Taker reverses out of it and clubs him into the front row. Back to the stairs as Taker tombstones him on them, and JBL starts bleeding bad. JBL uses a chair to hold off UT, and then hits him with a monitor. Back to the table again, but UT chokeslams Bradshaw through the Spanish table. They head back to the hearse again but Heidenreich pops out of the hearse (called it) and he uses an ether rag to knock out Taker and put him in but he fights out and JBL gives him the clothesline to end this too long title match with a lameass Taker finish at 21:08. Post ppv, in the back, Paul Heyman instructs Heidenrich to jump in a 4X4 and ram the hearst which causes it to explode and that's the ppv. That was pretty crap. 1 1/2 star.
Overall Opinion: Nothing offensive about the undercard, but nothing stupdenous either. The main event sucked.
Final Score: 4.2 stars out of a perfect 10.0. Not a horrible score but just kinda meh.