Things I learned from Stranger Than Fiction

Also that IRS agents are not allowed to recive gifts but are allowed to give them


"Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with?"

- Realizing that you are NOT a golem should make you glad

- Trees are trees

- There's a difference between Small Talk and *Very* Small Talk

- Guitars can talk. You just need to know how to listen to them

- Being saved by a watch is pretty cool

- When animals feed on other animals they usually go ...OUCH!...


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Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

That stammering is endearing and can win the heart of someone who initially hates you.

1. IBM Selectric typewriters have mystical powers
2. When you leap from a building, it's rarely the impact which kills you.
3. Sitting in the rain won't write books
3. Anarchists have a group, and regularly assemble.
4. Insurance adjusters can't claim a JetSki as a work vehicle.
5. Cigarettes are available in a pre-smoked variety.
6. Assisting more than 20 authors with the completion of more than 30 books doesn't prepare you for killing a man.

1) a 8:17 Kronecker bus just can't stop! especially when;

- it's daylight and the lights are on
- it's approaching the stop
- and there are people in the street

2)Lunatic kid-cyclists admit their wrong doings almost immediately.

3)a wristwatch has got nothing to do with Harold Crick being saved.

“Of course I‘m a highly regarded yet unknown genius who will be appreciated later…” The Pearl Cannon

56. Playing a song on the guitar will make a woman rip your clothes off.
57. You will tick off a professional baker if you offer to "purchase" her cookies.

Old men standing around hospitals just like looking at sick people.

"Surely, you can't be serious."
"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

IRS agents don't tax bathrooms.