Yesterday's Husband

Thats how they roll down there is not a good enough answer- in fact that is a huge indication that there is a problem. I thought it was very weird as wel- and that is why I thought this film did an superb job at bringing any viewer to the situation and epidemic. Not only is HIV a problem, but the values and the way we approach the issue can make it worse or influence it. The fact that we were so concerned with the husband more than the Yesterday shows that there are different answers and way to approach this. Should we ignore that he slept with someone in Johannesburg. Why is this ignored in the film? This is one of the underlying reasons for so many strong women catching HIV and aids anyway. It fustrated me to see that she helped him so much- I would have went off- but then again we live in different words. Also the reaction of the village people also brought up another issue. Maybe we should focus on educating more people in South Africa about the disease rather than scaring them with such statistics. Sure many women catch HIV and AIDS (Everywhere) but we can prevent it. Anyway this film touched me in a way that is too deep to describe in words. Beyond the acting which was excellent, i felt a sense of truth! Man I can't even collect my thoughts...:/

Great movie!

I was left with the impression that the husband was definitely practicing bigamy/polygamy. tiger_lily, I think you are on to something and that the healer was right, Yesterday was angry about what she suspected her husband was doing all those months away from home. Even while it might have been a common practice in some circles, doesn't mean that Yesterday had to like it.

Bigamy was so common, that the doctor even had to ask her if her husband had multiple wives. It seemed very strange that there were hardly any men around in her village throughout the movie. I suspect that there were other village women who had husbands who had multiple wives.

Even though this is a different culture, a couple of things didn't add up for me which led me to this conclusion:

1) Yesterday has hardly any contact information from him
We see she has a tough time knowing how to contact her husband, find him, etc. Where was he staying, surely a loving husband would give her his address,phone number but this husband didn't and the only thing she knew was that he worked at the mines. Nice and vague, almost as if you don't want to be found in case of an emergency because it would intrude on another life?

2) His first reaction to seeing her at the mines
He says "What do you want", not a very good response to someone you love exclusively. Regardless of the culture, a spouse who hasn't seen a spouse for a while would be happy to see that spouse or perhaps happy and then also concerned that something bad had happened. The husband seemed irritated with seeing Yesterday, almost as if she was intruding on his "other" life.

3) Money
I got the impression Yesterday hardly had any money. With all that "working", surely the husband would send money home on a semi-regular basis? People were able to lend money to Yesterday to get a cab, etc.., yet her husband didn't seem to be providing hardly anything. Sounds like someone's money was stretched too thin.

4) When her husband finds out
It was so terrible to see Yesterday beaten by her husband, but what seemed also strange is that the husband didn't seem to want to go to a private place (e.g. like talking about it where he was staying). I got the impression that his shift ended and that he was done with work for the day. Typically, if there has to be some deep discussion, wouldn't you want to talk about it at home (where he is staying while working at the mines) or over dinner? I am sure Yesterday told her husband it was serious what she had to tell him and that it should be discussed in private (we see that having HIV has a stigma in this culture).

Yet, instead the husband and Yesterday have their conversation at the job, almost as if he can't go anywhere else to talk because it would intrude on his other family (ies). The moment Yesterday opened her mouth a typical reaction would have been to shoosh her and go to a more private place in case someone overheard what she had said. I am sure his coworkers would have reacted badly if they found out he was HIV positive, so why would he risk them overhearing?

5) Many months past
Ok, we see the husband is really upset about the news, but many months past after that. He doesn't bother to contact Yesterday, he doesn't take off a few days to check on his daughter. He waits until he's dying to pay them a visit. For months he had a chance to think about his wife and daughter's needs, but did nothing until he was practically dying.

6) After the husband dies
Yesterday's friend, the school teacher, sighs, almost as if she pities Yesterday's denial, when Yesterday is at her husband's grave and says he was a good husband, etc. I got the impression the friend felt he was a terrible husband, but for more reasons than for him being irresponsible in catching HIV from just "one" infidelity incident.


I think Yesterday's husband had at least one other wife, the urban wife, the rural wife, etc. and when things got so bad, he had no one to turn to, no one who would care, etc. He HAD to turn to Yesterday who always loved him unconditionally and didn't need much to be happy.

Realize this is an entirely different culture from most of us. I think it is very narrow minded to say how he was such a dishonest and horrible man. I mean obviously his behavior is not a good thing but I think he is acting within the confines of his culture. He had a very devoted and amazing wife, that would seem to indicate he had redeeming qualities.

When I taught in Tanzania, most of the kids I talked to did not believe that people could be monogamous...both the girls and boys thought this. I know they are two separate countries but the attitudes might be similar. So you have that idea about the impossibility of fidelity and then put a guy away from his wife x months out of the year.

I would hope things eventually change because I think it is all symptomatic of a society that dominates women. The same thing explains his beating her up. Obviously this is a generalization but one of the hardest things to do is not try to force a western viewpoint on people who are totally different.