MovieChat Forums > Supernanny (2004) Discussion > People who don't believe in spanking sho...

People who don't believe in spanking should watch this show

posted 17 years ago by afroteque
15 replies | jump to latest

I'm sorry but these parents are pathetic. My mother wouldn't have tolerated 5 minutes of what these kids do. I am watching this show for the first time, and I am shocked at how clueless these parents are. This parent lets her child curse, spit, throw books at her. And she just stands there? This is prime time for why spanking should be used. I mean, spanking is on a case by case basis. My brother was the type that would just act right based one one nasty look from my mom. Me on the other hand, I needed a spanking and I'm glad my mom did it because I learned respect. If these parents got a belt and 5 minutes with their kid, they wouldn't have nearly the same amount of problems. Just sad...

...and the geek shall inherit the earth...

[–] Buzz-Duh 17 years ago

I really think some of these parents do actually spank their children, but because they are in front of a camera for millions of viewers to watch, they simply don't do it to avoid being labeled child abusers. You can just tell with many of the parents on the show that they are really holding back in front of Jo and the camera man. So instead they are forced to perform pussified discipline through "time outs".

--
Youngblood II: Racki's Revenge

[–] perfect_angel93 17 years ago

timeouts DONT work
my mum and dad tried them when I was young and I became such a brat but then they started slapping me (not very hard but still) if i did something wrong like pull down the tablecloth when it was set for dinner etc for big things that i couldnt be told off for. then i stopped because they got angry at me and it hurt so I stopped.

is that asseptable Jo?

[–] Zippy B 16 years ago

Actually they do work quite well. They certainly worked in the environment I worked with kids in way back when. When you are taking care of large groups of kids, violence is never an option. They all understood that since they were stuck with me for 3-4 hours every day, and I was quite willing to make those 3-4 hours as boring as possible should they not choose to listen to me, most of the time they were quite responsive to reason.

Natural consequences are usually all that is needed to get kids to figure things out, but many parents can't even pull that off. If you pull the tablecloth off, guess who gets to fix it. If you break a few dishes in the process, sell off a few of the kids favorite toys to pay for the damage. Kids HATE that kind of thing. They DESPISE IT, and many would choose a spanking over having some of their favorite possetions sold or given away because they didn't deserve to have them. Give them an empty room with a mat on the floor and not a single personal possetion to call their own if they really can't get the point of who is in charge. You can give severe punishments without ever laying a hand on a kid.

Kids, in the setting I worked in, displayed a very interesting and telling behaviour. No matter what the worst punishment their parents had, be it 5 minutes, pants down with a belt, or losing their movie or computer priveledges for a week, they spoke of it with the same degree of fear. All of them did.

They do, however, need to know that the important rules will ALWAYS be enforced no matter what, because otherwise it is a constant fight for them to see what they can get away with today. It is called consistency, and it works brilliantly. Spanking just teaches them that bigger people can force smaller people to do what they want.

[–] prodigy556 17 years ago

I have never advocated spanking. It is not effective, as it simply teaches that problems can be solved through physical violence. If you don't like what someone is doing that its ok to hit them.

I believe time outs are very effective, if done properly. Most parents do not know how to do a time out right. They think after years of letting their children get away with everything all they have to do is sit them on a time out step and a miracle occurs. The first time you do time out it takes about 30 mins of the child testing(getting up) and having to put the child back. The one mistake parents make is eye contact. There has to be no eye contact, talking etc. If you give in the child learns your breaking point and the next time it will take even longer. Parents have this idea that the things they do should take no effort or time on thier part. Spanking is fast, effective(for the time being) and requires no effort on the part of the parent.
I am a nanny and I deal with children all day and never use spanking(obviously). The kids listen to me better than their own mother. All I have to say is go sit on the timeout chair and they go.

I say the tools Jo gives these parents are great. Five minutes of talking to your child will do far more good that hurting them. As I heard somewhere, although can't remember "You can beat a dog and make him stay, buts it fear, not respect."

[–] suzbrew 17 years ago

Hello, Nicole.

I have read your post and the responses to it. I am just so very sorry that your parent(s) chose to physically abuse you.

I agree that the parents as seen on this show are often relatively clueless. I believe that this cluelessness extends to their lack of knowledge concerning child development and lack of communicaton. No doubt, many others reasons pertain.

It is sad to me that the way you were treated as a tiny defenseless child has led you to think that any great big adult needs "a belt and 5 minutes" with any kid. Seriously? Just draw breath here and try to imagine what a 150-to-200-pound person could do with a belt to a 25-to-45 pound person in 5 minutes. Are you really willing to be that cruel? Do you have any children? Any pets?

[–] thecaptaineast 17 years ago

Okay,I see your point,but there needs to be some middle ground between killing your kid and what you see on the show.Adults are in charge of children,not the other way around.What's more,part of growing up is learning that some things are flat out unacceptable.What is going to happen when these kids are in school,when they have a boss?Hell,half of them might end up in prison.

Bottom Line:PARENTS,PLEASE CONTROL YOUR KIDS!

[–] laurangl95 17 years ago

spanking/belting/beating kids is very very wrong, and should be against the law. I'm glad supernanny comes to the rescue. people who belive in spanking also belive that kids are objects and do not have opinions. they don't get that if you just speak to them like normal human beings they'll get what they have to do.

P.S: nicole, I really hope you don't have any kids...

"Well, we're boned"

[–] suzbrew 17 years ago

Hello, Captain East.

Probably you'll never return to this board to read my words, but perhaps others will see what I have to say.

It is not true that I believe every parent who has ever smacked a small bottom on one or two occassions is a brute. It is, however, the case that I believe that parents who find that physically assaulting their child(ren) the default level choice have never examined their role as parents, possibly lack signifcant knowledge of childhood development, and quite probably have never meaningfully communicated with the other parent on what the role of parent means to them.

On the nanny shows, these factors are all too often complicated by the families' having so many chidren so close together in time, when the parents are, so often, far too young to take on, let alone, understand their accepted responsibility.

You are quite correct when you write that "Adults are in charge of children." But what does that mean? If, in your employment, you are "in charge" of hiring and firing, you would be expected to be able to weed out long-term unemployable candidates, have more than a smattering of knowledge of pertinent issues in psychology, and to be extremely well-informed on all legal issues regarding hiring and firing, to name just a few items. The analogies for any particular job could run on forever.

For me, being "in charge" of a child or children means having at least a rudimentary knowledge of child development, defining for oneself before you get into the game what the goals are (for instance, teaching a child life skills, providing for a quality education to the extent that is possible, always respecting the child's integrity, protecting the child from the exigencies of life while trying to balance that protection with allowing the child to actually experience life, aiding the child towards ultimate independence and a fulfilling adulthood.) Cutting the list short to save space, but I hope you get the picture.

Our own daughter has just turned 24, is bright, beautiful, and delightful. She works in a helping profession in a psychological field. Her work involves helping both children and adults who are, to some degree or other, functioning in daily life. She has an amazing command of psychological knowledge and literature. I have also chosen for decades to follow a study of some portions of psychology. Both of us would be able to tell you that children who are "merely" spanked share truly interesting and telling similarities in their PET-scans with the PET-scans of hideously physically abused children. Why would anyone be willing to take the chance, I wonder?

[–] thecaptaineast 16 years ago

Suzbrew,I just read your post and I have to say,first I'm flattered that you took the time to respond to me personally and second, that was the most intelligent post I've read in a long time.I thank you for it.Are you English?

What do you do,though,when nothing else works?What happens when the child just does what he/she wants to do with no regard for the consequences?And as to what I mean,there's a reason why children are not allowed to vote,sign contracts,consume alcohol and join the military,just to name a few.There are some things they are not ready to handle yet.The people with life experience should be the ones who run things.

I still am not an anti-spanking guy,but your excellent post is food for thought.I will definitely read it again,and I thank you again.

[–] wildflowerneu 14 years ago

Spanking is an archaic form of punishment that does not work.

Spanking is only used by parents who do not know how to use their words; you are no worse than the children you are punishing.

What do you teach a child when you spank them? That it's alright to hit?

Spanking is a scapegoat parents use when they are too lazy to follow through with a timeout. Parenting, like marriage, is hard work that requires love and respect. You need to make sacrifices in order for it to work.

My brother and I were spanked by our parents when we were growing up. It didn't teach us anything, it only taught us to fear our parents and run fast if you get into trouble... I still regret what my parents did and I still maintain my distance from them.

Parents should not be feared by their children. Parents should be respected by their children and vice-versa if they want to maintain a loving household.

Your words speak and receive far more discipline and respect than your hand.

[–] michellewhiteley 15 years ago

I believe if a parent resorts to spanking their child, then the parent is doing something wrong in raising their kid. I was spanked as a child. My mom used dish soap in our mouths if we smarted off. She hit us with fly swatters, belts, her hand...she back-handed us if we said something wrong. Now, I don't think we were abused exactly because it wasn't to the point of physically causing harm, but I don't think I learned anything from it either. The main thing I learned was to not get caught, to mumble under my breath, to vent my emotions in my diary. I didn't respect my mom for spanking me. I don't think it's right. It just teaches your child that violence is all right.

Why not talk with your child and figure out the source of the problem? If the kid is old enough to understand what they did, talk to them and figure out a solution.

[–] lassitude 15 years ago

Sometimes kids are just nasty psychos, and they actively choose not to behave. Sometimes they choose not to respect their parents and siblings, and all they're willing to respond to is a proper crack across the face. If the shoe fits...

http://jenkcentral.myminicity.com/

[–] piquebu 15 years ago

I'm just amazed that child protective services hasn't stepped in after watching some of the show's footage.

Also, it's amazing that the parents call Jo for help and then act annoyed when she TRIES to help them. Do they think she's just bringing a magic wand or what?

Supernanny: http://www.squidoo.com/jofrost/

[–] cheluzal 15 years ago

I believe in both, spanking and time-outs.
I also hate people who automatically resort to "physically abused" when they hear the word spank.
I was spank. Was I abused? No.

Words can do worse damage than a hand. I can't remember much about my spankings, but I can remember mean things other people said.

The holier-than-thou attitude of non-spankers is starting to turn my stomach.
There is NOT a fine line between spanking and abuse. It is a big, fat black line that takes effort and conscious decision-making to cross.

It has a time and place and a shelf life.
Talking and time-outs are fine, too...I'm not 100% against them.

I am against children hitting and cursing a child.
You that say spanking teaches a child to be violent...most of these violent kids are doing so without the parents laying a finger on them! They can't even stop the kid; they just stand there and mumble something, so don't feed me that b.s.

It's pur authority and nothing more. See these kids respond to Jo quickly...because she has authority in her voice. She means what she says and follows through. I love this show, but I'm appalled at how stupid parents can be. How lazy and immature to not grasp simple parenting concepts!

Cursing is a crutch for the communicationally-challenged.

[–] beneragazza 15 years ago

bless you cheluzal.
someone with some sense finally.

somne parents are being abused by their own kids.
how come nobody talks about that?

"I dont chase anyone who wont chase me back....BB"