MovieChat Forums > Her Minor Thing (2005) Discussion > I Can't Breathe...

I Can't Breathe...

posted 17 years ago by CleverTitania
13 replies | jump to latest

I think this is like my 10th viewing of Her Minor thing. And I was wondering if there was a topic that discussed the "they spend the night together" section of this movie. I didn't find one readily available, so I'm going to start one myself.

This scene is one of my FAVORITE kinds of scene. It's what I like to call, the Sexless Sexy scene. The only thing that doesn't happen (on camera) is sex, in these scenes, and they are still sexy and amazing. I swear that every single time "Crimson and Clover" starts in the dark room, my chest tightens, my heart starts beating really fast, and I am completely entranced. Christian is so incredibly sexy in the way he loses himself in her, and Estella plays blissfully overwhelmed very well. Unrealistic though the line may be, when Paul says he just doesn't want her to leave, I want to grab and kiss him. I honestly wonder how women on the crew keept their hands off of Christian on that day. Just for saying it, even fictionally, I would've wanted to kiss him on the mouth and thank him.

And, while not as steamy as in the dark room, the follow up scenes on the couch are sensational. Wait, not only does he not care if they have sex, he can handle it while still making out and cuddling? Be still my heart. If you ever could create your man, that's a man to make.

For two other examples of fabulous Sexless Sexy scenes; see the vanilla love scene from Simply Irresistible and the celebrating together scene in Undiscovered.

The less a man makes declarative statements the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect.

[–] gemini_love_ca 17 years ago

Oh yes, that was probably the most *THUD* moment I've seen on film in a long time, and yet... nothing gratuitous about it.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] shinma_guardian 17 years ago

I'm a complete sucker for the super sweet romantic comedies like this [and Simply Irresistable, which i also loved]. They always seem to be the ones that don't get super popular but I love them.

They also don't fit in at all with most of the movies that I love. Which tend to be indie drama, action or horror.

[–] Semi_Charmed_Life 16 years ago

First of all, 'Simply Irrestible' is a guilty pleasure movie for me. Secondly, the flower petal scene in '40 Days And 40 Nights'. That reminds me of 'American Beauty', which was also a very sexy movie.

I am about to watch 'Her Minor Thing'. I have watched a little of it before but not the hole movie.

[–] raymondleggs 15 years ago

Hole? Thats an interesing slip of the typing finger.

[–] Semi_Charmed_Life 14 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's acually really funny. Whole, I meant.

[–] Gothik79 14 years ago

Just saw this film last night and I have to say this post is beautifully written. The dark room scene/"Crimson and Clover" song was the best scene. I was speechless.

Amber

[–] lotrgirl_317 14 years ago

Oi, seriously, you said it! Christian Kane is such an awesome actor (seriously under-appreciated). Those big, beautiful blue eyes have more lines than he does! (It's one of the reasons I love Leverage so much.)

I practically melt during the dark room scene. I'm with you, I don't know how the women on the crew kept from jumping him right there. And don't forget his speech at the end. The Perfect Man, thy name is Paul. *sigh*

[–] jennydeere70 13 years ago

"Crimson and Clover" just came up in the shuffle on my iPod and all I can think about is THAT scene. It really tells you how great the scene is when it causes such an instant and powerful connection with a song like that. Christian Kane may very well be the sexiest man alive! (with apologies to my hubby!)

[–] NDPTAL85 12 years ago

Just out of curiosity, why is it so attractive to you that the guy says he doesn't care if they have sex? Do you not like sex yourself?

[–] CleverTitania 12 years ago

Really? This is an INSANELY common thread in romantic comedies and you have to ask why it's a big deal for a man to say he doesn't care as much about having sex as spending time with her? Why do you think the line is there in the first place - just to move the conversation along? That line is literally the climax of the scene.

I know I'm being a touch snarky, but it's a bit like asking why "You complete me." had women swooning across the world. Universal romcom themes are pretty obvious; fear of commitment, fear of being treated as an object, fear of intimacy, lack of communication, both men and woman who can't say what they feel. In many ways, Her Minor Thing is as typical a romcom as you can get.

For that matter, you do know this ENTIRE movie is about the difference between being with men who are more interested in sex than intimacy and men who care more about intimacy than sex. Or in the case of someone like Tom, men who are oblivious to the fact that there's a difference. The entire movie damn near comes down to that line. It's effectively the romantic crux of the entire film, that she's afraid of finally sleeping with a man only to find out it was the wrong man, particularly when she was so sure about Tom - but Paul doesn't give a sh!t about any of the rest of it, he just doesn't want to lose her because he knows he IS the right man.

It's just a really weird thing to question, or for that matter to assign personally to me. Any woman who's a fan of this movie knows why that line is poignant; because way too many men are oblivious to the idea of being really close to someone BEFORE you sleep with them. Or they think that any woman who demonstrates sexual hesitancy is doing so because she either doesn't like sex, is afraid of sex, or is playing with a guy to show her dominance (i.e. Ivana Milicevic's character in the film). In reality, some of us (men and women alike) prefer to achieve emotional intimacy before sexual. And I don't say physical, because physical often comes before emotional - in terms of kissing and touching - though in this film they actually do achieve a fairly deep emotional intimacy before they ever really touch.

As for my personal views on sex - they are well documented all over the internet. I both write and research on the subject of sexual dysfunctions (including my own) and sexuality within relationships. Plus I'm an erotic fiction writer. Yes, I am one of many women in this world who have had issues with a lack of sexual fulfillment, which is what led me to researching sexual dysfunction in the first place. But that's just another reason why this movie attracted me; because this film is a microcosm for how the loss of virginity (or even not losing it) can affect the course of relationships - both sexual and romantic - in a anyone's life.

Plus they had a very fun time playing with notion of men who think sex with a virgin sounds so cool, because they assume the second d!ck is introduced to her life she'll turn into a sex kitten. Charlie Matthau's (i.e. the fork in the leg) scene in particular bats that idea around - that's sh!t cracks me up. :)

The less a man makes declarative statements the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect.

[–] NDPTAL85 11 years ago

I'm just trying to understand the romcoms (and other chick flicks) in general. I seriously don't get the appeal of them. I guess you partly explained it with all the emphasis on emotions over physical sex.

I'm pretty down on romance myself. I see it as a form of manipulation. I would just prefer if people would just get together to fulfill physical desires without the games of romantic intimacy. I envy gay men in this regard as from what I can observe, they're able to endlessly hookup with random partners without having to deal with the things straight guys have to deal with to get/keep women in our lives. Anniversary presents/parties, engagement parties, Valentines day, constantly having to say "I love you...."...etc. Gay guys just co-exist happily. Even with open relationships. From a past job I know several gay couples who have been together for over 30 years and they live exactly like this. For those about to get upset, I understand that I'm speaking in broad generalizations and that not every gay couple is like this.

As for virgins, I personally avoid them as best I can. As I get older this is less of a challenge because the older one gets the fewer virgins there are in your age group. I find virgins to be incredibly clingy and naive with 'Young Adult Novel' type expectations of fairy tale romance.

Also for the record, I don't get why women swooned over "You complete me" either. I think sometimes women assume men are afraid of things that men simply find distasteful. Commitment isn't all it's cracked up to be.

[–] CleverTitania 11 years ago

You're problem is that you've fallen into the trap of thinking that romance is a manipulation, because it doesn't hold much use for YOU, and therefore it must hold little use for others - particularly men. Except you're way off base there.

There are 7 billion people on the planet, some care about romance and some don't. Some care more about physical needs and others don't. I would rather people didn't act as if satisfying physical desires is something anyone can just do with anyone else. It's not, particularly when it comes to women. One of the primary causes of female sexual dysfunction is lack of intimacy and trust with their partner. Some women literally do not enjoy sex without a level of romance, whichever level works for them. So for those women to engage in the kind of relationships you'd prefer, would be a complete waste of their time, and possibly even dangerous to their mental health. And there is also a segment of men who have such reactions, though it's a smaller population.

I NEVER assume that every person I meet is secretly seeking love and commitment, because I know not all of them are. But by that same token, you cannot assume that most men treat intimacy with the lack of interest you show.

The desire for love and companionship is not a product of the media - the media is a reflection of the need that SOME people have. It doesn't mean those people are saps, and those less concerned with love and romance are cynics, it's just that we're all very different people who want different things in our lives... there's a reason there are 100 different kinds of soda and flavors of ice cream.

And your assessment of gay men is definitely limited - many gay men like monogamous relationships involving a lot of romance. Some gay men prefer more casual relationships. They're demographics are no different than any other sexual orientation. I know more single-but-seeking-love and long-term-monogamous gay men than I know the kind you're talking about. And I know way more than 'a few', given that am active in several gay political movements and Pride activities.

Your last statement also speaks to a big misunderstanding of the entire concept of a "great line." "You complete me" has NOTHING to do with romance in general, or a presumption of fear of commitment. It is as lacking in such generality as suggesting that the fake-orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally would be equally impactful if any actress did it, playing any character. The line works because of the 'man' who is saying it, the 'woman' he is saying it to, the context of their complicated relationship, and the epiphany of his 'big day'. It works because of who Jerry is, and how completely confused he's been about his entire life for the bulk of the film. It's not about him being "romantic."

Do you imagine that "I do not think that word means what you think it means," would be as amusing if it was in a VanDamme movie? No - the context is what feeds the energy of a line - if you didn't give a crap about the characters in the movie, you won't give a crap about what lines they throw out.

The same is true of the line in HMT. It's not some hot guy telling some hot chick that he doesn't care if they don't *beep* It's a guy who's been b*tch-slapped by relationships, but is still clearly a romantic, telling a woman who's been b*tch-slapped by relationships and now the general public, but is still looking for the right person to move past it all with, that he gets that she's scared and he's in no rush. It's the situation that makes the moment, not the line. The line is the icing, the bow - it's not the substance of the scene. Or to put it more succinctly...

The line doesn't make the scene, the scene makes the line.

Commitment is all it's cracked up to be, for people who enjoy commitment - and there are plenty of them. I write about relationships and dating, and I've done the research. Just because you find it distasteful doesn't mean that applies to all men, or even most men. When you look at different surveys and studies, there's a pretty consistent average - some where around 60/40. About 60 percent of women prefer committed monogamous relationships (though again with varying degrees of romantic behavior). About 60 percent of men prefer non-committed sex-based relationships. But in both of those groups, there's additional variations, based on changes as they age, the affect of varying experiences in their lives, and occasionally they just meet someone they want enough to reevaluate the other stuff.

But ultimately people who prefer sex-based relationships (for instance Tom and Somalia in the movie) should get together, and people who prefer commitment-based relationships (like Paul and Jeana) should get together. And everyone should stop telling the other 'kinds' of people what kind of relationships to have.

And perhaps also the sex-based people should avoid RomComs. :)

The less a man makes declarative statements the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect.