MovieChat Forums > Submerged (2005) Discussion > Seagal is having trouble taking a dump.

Seagal is having trouble taking a dump.


I read that during the filming of 'Under Seige' Mr Seagal was frequently constipated and thus had to spend many precious minutes in the crapper. The problem of not being able to pass fecal matter has not troubled the big boy for over ten years now. However, during the filming of 'Submerged' Mr Seagal was once again having trouble squeazing his poop shute. Why am I telling you this? And how do I know about this, you might ask? Well, I'm telling you this because it's a problem we all have faced at one time or another. Having trouble dropping the kids off at the pool shouldn't be a taboo issue. How do I know that Seagal has trouble with his crank shaft?, well I'll tell you. I read it in an interview. So now you know what 'Under Siege' and 'Submerged' have in common, Mr Seagal's butt was under seige and he was having trouble submerging one.

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It's even worse than that. he's having trouble getting that badly needed brain transplant.

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He should have his stunt double take a crap for him.

-John

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How am I a loser? Just chatting back and forth on some unknown messeage board is all. You're so sensitive. You should get use to the fact that Segal is ripe for mockery, and that half the threads on all his message boards will be like this. Making fun of him is no worse than praising him...so does that make you a loser too? Just wondering.

Toodles
-John

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Woah! I just got burned.

-John

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more imature seagal-bashers... do us a favor and jump off a bridge kornfpi and roh3220.

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You never have trouble parking when you drive a forklift...


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I've turned to ashes.

-John

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Steven SeCOW hasn't had a good "movement" since Gene LaBelle choked him out on a movie set, causing him to crap his own pants. I know, Steven should hire Mr. LaBelle to choke him out on a regular basis. That way the great COW can stay regular and not have that conspitated look all the time...

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& don't forget his 1 accident while shooting OUT FOR A KILL.
Even Steven himself is too shy to bring it up sometimes in discussions. Steven tends to get annoyed by the press when they keep asking him, "Have you pooped your pants lately?"

Its ok, Steven. We all poop our pants once & while. I, myself will admit that I had an accident last week. I'm glad no one was around to laugh.

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Haha. "Have his stunt double take a dump for him" that's funny.

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Stay out of our tread then.

-John

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Dude, you totally spelled a word wrong, what a chump! You sure did get him steveday! Tell me steveday, do you always sign your posts under the alias "Loser?" That's great man, you're the coolest!

But seriously, though...where on this board does it say, "For Fans of Steven Seagal Only!"? Oh, that's right, it doesn't...so you don't have more reason to be here then, right? So you should remove yourself from our thread, 'cause even though you act high and mighty what with your uncanny and unique ability to spot spelling errors, you really are making an ass of yourself.

-John

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Wow, you're right! I was trying to sound hardcore and angry using the word "our." I thought for sure it would scare you away, and yet you persist. You've got balls man. I just can't believe that you don't realize what a jackass you really do sound like.

I suppose it prudent to note that by posting to your replies, I am in fact no better than you. I just can't help myself though when you post such devastating replies to my posts:

Erm ...because it's a Steven Seagal fan and I'm a fan. Duh.

Ouch! You've put me in my place. And again, you are right about me using such big-people words as “our.” It is wrong for me imply ownership, here. You are well within your right to post on this board. I have come to realize this through your insightful posting…”because it’s a Steven Seagal fan…”

And also, I don't take any effort into checking my posts for spelling. If you notice, nobody gives a flying *beep* about grammar on any of these boards. Seems you’re the only one that, as you say, makes any "painstaking and really pathetic efforts to check all your spellings."

-John the Toilet

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They do say that ignorance is bliss.

-John

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Oh yeah? I don't think I've read about the OUT FOR A POOP incident. Mr SeCOW never stops to amaze with his ability to crap his pants on every movie set...

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Hi there dolemite

Of course people don't like him, and of course he is seen as a joke, and that's why it's fun to come here and poke fun at him. You're right: I have a love to hate fixation with Seagal. I can come to these message boards and laugh my ass off every time. It's good fun. I feel like I belong at these boards, you know, a place where I can come and identify with my fellow shallow Seagal-Bashers. Don't mistake having a good time with obsession...especially if you haven't checked out your own profile...jeeze...

And if I should encounter an upset fan, like steveday, argue with him, and watch him turn more and more juvenile with each post, then it's even more fun for me. I have no more of an obsession than he does, or any fan does. If he want's to praise Seagal, so be it. If I want to bash him, than so be it. In this place of anonymity known as the internet, we're free to do what we want. And, like I asked earlier, where does it say that only fans of Seagal can post here?

Mock away, dolemite, mock away: It's your right to do so.
-John

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steveday supplies Seagal with jumbo sized man diapers, if it wasnt for Seagal steveday would go out of business.

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Thanks, that explains everything!!! Now we know why he's always licking Seagal's ass. I guess Steveday runs a "cleaning" service as well...

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that's funny coming from you Steve, I browse the Seagal boards enough to know you get into childish arguments with anyone who doesn't think Seagal is god.

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that coming from someone who worships Seagal! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its like a homeless guy calling me a bum lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Maybe he just needs some more Metamucil or Ex Lax lol. SEAGAL ROCKS MAN...he'll have his stunt double take his crap for him lmao.

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Just ignore the piece of filth. He's more than obsessed with Steven, we can all draw our own conclusion as to why. I have an image in my head of what this filthbag even looks like.....a repulsive filthy pig I'm afraid!!!

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You try desperately to defend that sow Steven Seagal and his crappy movies. I admire that.

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