Name at least 100 things you learned from Talladega Nights - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) Discussion

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

10. Your car can fly through the air, and you will not be harmed.

And you will know my name is the Lord...

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[–] aburn-1 17 years ago

11. Stabbing yourself in the leg is never a good idea.
12. You can tame a cougar to ride shotgun with you.
13. Driving in reverse is just as effective as driving forward.
14. Don't try and snort Lucky Charms.
15. The hospital will allow you to name your kids after TV shows.

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[–] bigreddwolf 17 years ago

16. Baby Jesus weighed 8 lb. 6 oz.
17. Crepes are really thin pancakes.
18. Gay couples like to train Komodo Dragons.
19. You can have loud animal sex in a bar and noone will say anything.
20. The French created Democracy, Existentialism, and the Menage a Tois.
21. Highlander won the academy award for the best movie ever made.
22. Tom Cruise can use his witchcraft to put out invisible flames.

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[–] carolinabk 17 years ago

1. That This Is The Worst Movie That I Have Ever Seen
2. I Want Back The Dollar That I Spent On This Piece Of Crap
3. Will Ferrell Is The Worst Actor In History
4. Why Would Anyone Produce A Movie As Bad As This
5. I Need To Find A Match And Some Lighter Fluid...

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[–] sycosplat 17 years ago

Would you please stop bitching like an irritating little kid? Like what do you do? If you don't like a movie you go around whining and moaning on their imdb page? If you don't like Talladega Nights, tough luck, there is no reason to ruin a perfectly good thread for the people who actually do like this movie.

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[–] uncleosbert 16 years ago

actually, i think this thread was started by people who thought this movie was retarded. please, stop ruining our fun. i learned:

1. people who like this move are idiots
2. the trailers featured scenes that weren't actually in the film to trick people into seeing it.
3. will farrell and john c. reilly are surprisingly funny in the outtakes
4. jesus is a hobo, that secretly you know is jesus

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[–] funniestep 16 years ago

Have you noticed that a majority of movie trailers show scenes that aren't actually in the movie? Generally the trailers are put out before editing is finished. Therefore, a lot of scenes get cut because of timing purposes or what not. That's no reason to hate a movie.

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[–] gabrielguild 16 years ago

that doesn't make up for how *beep* bad this movie is though. i had to stop after 25 minutes of it, it was actually painful to watch. i seriously almost stabbed my eyes out.

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

"i seriously almost stabbed my eyes out."

i can help you with that if you'd like.

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[–] IHeartCEvansJPiven 16 years ago

People who like this move are idiots?
Idiot!!!

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[–] rstracy 16 years ago

Why would you take the time to write about this movie, if it's the worst ever.

1. It won the academy award for the best movie ever made.

2. If you really only spent a dollar to watch this movie, I'm sure you've spent a dollar on worse things in your life.

3. If Will Ferrell is the worst actor in history, why did you watch a movie with him in it? Also, I'm sure you've seen at least one other movie, gone onto funnyordie.com, or watched an SNL skit with him in it, and at some point, I'm sure you laughed.

4. You watched it and added to the amount of money the movie grossed, therefore someone took the time to produce it.

5. Honestly?

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] jukster 11 years ago

1 That Will Farrell is boring even in the most ridiculous scenarios.
2 That Nascar is never fun, even with Sasha Baron Cohen in it.
3 That even though it makes fun of NASCAR hicks, the dumb bastards think it glorifies them
3 That obnoxious people are not funny as the lead.

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[–] washclothrepairman 8 years ago

carolinabk is the sort of ignorant white trash this movie makes fun of.

Never trust a black man named "Chip." 

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[–] joyp 7 years ago

Uh, thank you for sharing. Now, we know your opinion.Can we get on with discussion? And should we warn you of particular content? I'll warn you off Frankenhooker and Lesbian Vampire Something.

My husband would add Barbarella, but we disagree.

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[–] rentaphobe 17 years ago

23. Carolinabk is a whiny little cumquat.

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[–] 17 years ago

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[–] the_puppet_master_1-1 17 years ago

25. 'Shake and Bake' is a form of epilepsy.

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[–] erzayev 17 years ago

26. If you ain't first, you're last.

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[–] aburn-1 17 years ago

27. two number 1's make 11
28. you lose your license by running over police officers
29. there was a show called 'Manimal'
30. you don't have to be handicapped to participate in wheelchair basketball

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[–] irishpisano 17 years ago

31. Jesus is a mischeivous badger.
32. Jesus is a figure skater in a white outfit doing interpretive ice dances of people's lives.

"I don't want anything to happen to him while my mother's alive."

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[–] aburn-1 17 years ago

33. It IS possible to make a brilliant and intelligent film about NASCAR.
34. Snow blindness is affecting more and more cats every year.
35. 98% of us will die at some point in our lives.
36. Both Michael Clark Duncan and John C. Reilly are EXCELLENT singers.
37. Bars in the south are required to include jazz songs in their jukeboxes.

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[–] unifiedidiot 16 years ago

38.If you want two wussies, name your children Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman
39.You're allowed to drink coffee while driving in NASCAR
40.Be very careful when giving instructions at an Applebys

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

41. You can get thrown out of Applebee's for threatening your waitress and shouting obscenities
42. French people are apparently rampant homosexuals

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[–] OPatriot 16 years ago

43. That a "tractor-beam of hotness" may come between two best friends, but only for a little while
44. That packs of wild, vicious dogs control most of America's major cities
45. That having 2 knives in your leg can cause you to choke on your own spit

(insert cool-sounding random quote here...)

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] eclaire88 16 years ago

47. There's no shame in wetting your bed until you're 19.
48. America did not give the world chinese food, burritos or pizza.
49. Physcosomatic does not mean you can start a fire with your thoughts.

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[–] basoci 16 years ago

50. Baby Jesus had Baby Einstein videos to learn shapes and colors.

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] chisoxwinin05 16 years ago

"20. The French created Democracy, Existentialism, and the Menage a Tois. "
in the unrated dvd, the french invented the blowjob

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[–] Demarates 15 years ago

ànd ze soixante-neuf (69).

God bless ze french. Oui, oui.

NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY

Like we need your support...

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[–] Isaac5855 15 years ago

22. if you're in a stock race and you crash, if you don't burn in the explosion, you can just run to the finish line.

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[–] rogueroulette-weeblegurl 15 years ago

Since the numbers are mixed up now, I'll just list some:

- Ricky's car is like excalibur
- Lancelot laid with Guinevere (in a biblical sense)
- Glenn wrecked every cool thing that Susan said
- Mos Def and Elvis Costello are lunch guests with Jean Girard
- Mos Def is Jean Girard's brother-in-law
- Tony Stewart gets into straightaways, the paint, and GET HER DONE!
- Lucius will read Are You There God? It's Me Margaret. to you in the hospital
- Reese wishes he had been there when Ricky and Susan had sex

Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.

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[–] mattzavi 14 years ago

-you can buy middle fingers at target, sometimes theyre even on sale
-people who listen to the radio and watch tv at the same time like to party
-that biology teacher is the retarded one now!
-Jesus Christ can be pictured in several ways
-two first places makes 11

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[–] deesirius 14 years ago

- 'the highlander' won an academy for 'best movie ever made'!
- dont try to snort lucky charms!
- outta 10 carley's tatttas are an easy 9!
- ricky bobby likes the baby jesus version best!!!
- the fear = a cougar
- t.r. doesnt mind staying in his pee pants!!
- you can get all jacked up on mountain dew!

~Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on, thats when you the prettiest~ DRIZZY

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[–] dmcreif 12 years ago

Well we have HANS devices and a gaggle of other safety features for that.

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[–] likentolooken 16 years ago

51. sometimes target has 'the bird' on sale (flip-switch included).

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[–] likentolooken 16 years ago

52. 'hacuna matata' means 'sorry about your accident' in french.

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[–] likentolooken 16 years ago

53. comic books are a great source of medical knowlege.
54. a miracle cure for paralysis is to stick a knife in the leg (sorry, this one was NOT in the comic books).
55. it is common for one's mother and father to be 11 and 7 years older than one respectively, (and they can look exactly one's same age!).
56. prohibition is the root of all car racing and this movie.

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[–] huggyprincess 16 years ago

57.Jesus is the "Jewish" god.
58.There are thongs for men.
59.Grandma Lucy can really drive kids to the ground.
60.All Carly's dad did useful was that he made a "hot" daughter.
61.Walker and Texas Ranger have two Christmases!
62.Highlander won an award for best movie made.

Hugs from
The Huggy Princess

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

isn't number 62 a given? i thought everybody already knew this before watching.

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

63. Taco Bell is delicious.
i don't think anybody knew this before watching.

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[–] Mission77 16 years ago

#64. No matter how bad a Will Ferrell movie is, it will still make over $100,000,000 at the boxoffice.

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

65. uncleosbert is a tool

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[–] jangajamma 16 years ago

66. nascar sponsorship contracts often have clauses that state you must mention their product while saying grace.

67. hanging out at your mom's house is the opposite of awesome.

68. grown men play with G.I. joe

69. ball removal surgery is still in the expiramental stages.

70. crepe suzette contains sugar and lemon juice.

71. tom brockaw is a punk

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

72. not every kid's parent should participate in career day

73. pizza can be used to lure, train, and feed wild cougars

74. apparently there are wild cougars on the loose throughout American cities

75. the DMV will allow your tamed cougar to accompany you on your driving test

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[–] daliofbston 16 years ago

76. Its the Fastest Who gets paid and its the fastest who gets laid

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[–] MuggleBorn9614 16 years ago

77. If you flash a NASCAR driver you will get married

78. You can get a knife out with another knife

79. Getting matching leprachun tattos are awesome

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[–] eaglesman85 16 years ago

80. Walker is only 10 years old but he can beat Chip's a$$
81. Texas Ranger is all hopped up on Mountain Dew
82. Ricky Bobby doesn't know what to do with his hands during an interview

Chef:Hello children!
Kids:Hi Chef,What would a priest wanna put up my butt?
Chef:Bye children...

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[–] cgavidia 16 years ago

83. IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST, YOU'RE LAST

84. Its the fastest who gets paid, and its the fastest who gets laid.

85. Applebees is a fine family cusine diner.

86. Ricky Bobbys son is all jacked up on Mountain Dew

87. HIGHLANDER WON THE OSCAR FOR GREATEST MOVIE EVER.

88. No one lives forever, but with advances in modern science, and Ricky Bobbys high level income, he can live to 250.

89. Ricky Bobby can say whatever he wants to his car owner because its in the Geneva Convention.

90. Crepes are like pancaks

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[–] cmco1 16 years ago

91 moral ambiguity is the hallmark of all early 20th century american fiction
92 playing with matchbox cars in HS biology does not make you retarded
93 Mike Honcho is actually Cal Naughton Jr
94 If you don't chew Big Red, then *beep* you
95 It's ok to smoke in a school as long as you're a volunteer fireman
96 It's possible to be a nice crack dealer
97 sitting on the pole, is a statement of fact, and is in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation
98 Colonel Sanders once said "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"
99 Eleanor Roosevelt once said "America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed"
100 Cal Naughton Jr likes to party

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[–] strange_red_head_gurl 16 years ago

101. Cal Naughton Jr likes his Jesus to party too.

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

the following are repeats and therefore DQ'ed from the list:

83. IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST, YOU'RE LAST
84. Its the fastest who gets paid, and its the fastest who gets laid.
85. Applebees is a fine family cusine diner.
86. Ricky Bobbys son is all jacked up on Mountain Dew
87. HIGHLANDER WON THE OSCAR FOR GREATEST MOVIE EVER.
90. Crepes are like pancaks

i submit the following as replacements:

83. Some of Talladega Nights viewers have trouble with reading comprehension

84. Ability to give an interview is not a factor in becoming a NASCAR driver.

85. America does not pass judgement on those who do not know what to do with their hands

86. America is not ready for an openly gay NASCAR driver

87. Will Farrel loves to kiss guys (how many times has he done this on SNL?)

90. Sponsors do not like their drivers leaving the middle of a race to grab a chicken sandwich

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[–] colonel_inguss 16 years ago

91.Huggalo's Pizza is pizza
92.That you can tell your boss whatever you want because its in the Geneva Convention.
93.Chic Fil A makes a pretty good sauce.
94.That apparently women can have orgasms when race cars fly by.
95.That if you're pregnant and your husband is driving you to the hospital and gets sidetracked when he realizes he's going 115 mph that you can actually slam on the brakes and through sheer force the baby pops out.
96.Never travel Tijuana.
97.Packs of wild dogs control most of North America.
98.The delicious crispy smell isn't my tailpipe, its a little bit of shake and bake.
99. Hearing the words shake and bake blows peoples minds.
100.Its okay to smoke in school as long as you're a volunteer fireman.

Well you know what they say, p-p-people in glass houses s-sink ships

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[–] aburn-1 16 years ago

make_me_fries:
you have the best screenname on IMDB. i just saw the misheard lyrics vid on youtube the other day.

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[–] colonel_inguss 16 years ago

You are correct sir/madame. I wanted to put "Mona_said_i_wanna_leave_bennigans" but it was too long. Besides, when they busted out with "make me fries" I was drinking a beer and it shot from my nose.

Well you know what they say, p-p-people in glass houses s-sink ships

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[–] pennst24 16 years ago

101. If you are in the pits during a NASCAR race, you can be called upon to be a relief driver without having practiced, win the race and NASCAR will be ok with it.

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[–] irishpisano 16 years ago

readjusting the list numbers:

101.Huggalo's Pizza is pizza
102.That you can tell your boss whatever you want because its in the Geneva Convention. <--repeat, ergo eliminated
102.Chic Fil A makes a pretty good sauce.
103.That apparently women can have orgasms when race cars fly by.
104.That if you're pregnant and your husband is driving you to the hospital and gets sidetracked when he realizes he's going 115 mph that you can actually slam on the brakes and through sheer force the baby pops out.
105.Never travel Tijuana.
106.Packs of wild dogs control most of North America. <--repeat, ergo eliminated
106.The delicious crispy smell isn't my tailpipe, its a little bit of shake and bake.
107. Hearing the words shake and bake blows peoples minds.
108.Its okay to smoke in school as long as you're a volunteer fireman.
109. If you are in the pits during a NASCAR race, you can be called upon to be a relief driver without having practiced, win the race and NASCAR will be ok with it.

Moving on...

110. First you shake it, and then you bake it.
111. "Shake" and "bake" rhyme, and are both verbs.
112. Ricky Bobby's mother is Andy's boss in 40 Year Old Virgin

It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] GreenEyedBrit 16 years ago

Actually just one, not to watch it again...

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[–] ericthetrucker 16 years ago

113. School teachers apparently have lumpy butts.

114. You can buy the Jackhawk 9000 at Wal-mart.

115. Reese Bobby likes to get high and drink...alot.

116. Throwing grandma the toaster while she is in the tub is a fun game for all ages.

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[–] irishpisano 16 years ago

117. you can wear your pee pants all day long if you want
118. you get ƒucked if you don't like Big Red (i hope carly finds out i don't like big red)

It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

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[–] shortycakes 16 years ago

119. Oprah Winafry will help you.
120. Invisible fires can burn.
121. Ricky Bobby can strip down to his underpants in seconds.
122. Dont tell a teacher she has a lumpy butt.

He waxes his arm hair and lost his virginity in the boy scouts. Uncle Donny?

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[–] filtalr 16 years ago

123. Thanks to NASCAR's strict safety rules -- two cars' drivers can flip for almost a minute into the tri-oval and can emerge relatively unscathed, coherent enough and with enough energy left (after driving nearly 500 miles) to run from the tri-oval to the finish line.
124. You can run and dive flat on your belly on asphalt and not get hurt.

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[–] i_am_the_walrusss 16 years ago

125. With my income and modern science and technology it's not unreasonable that I live to be 245 maybe 300.

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[–] GraeShadowe 16 years ago

126. Tom Brokaw was a punk...What?!?

127. Grannys gonna break us like wild horses, ain't she?

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[–] usman-hotfeet 16 years ago

128. Applebees is a great place to be thrown out of.
129. Some people have issues with having sex because it requires them to be naked.
130. The most memorable things are said while being high.
131. Molly Shanon made out with an old guy.
132. Will Ferrel made out with Sacha Baron Cohen.
133. Will Ferrel and Amy Adams are good at making animal noises though we never heard them.
134. Some people watch the television and listen to the stereo at the same time, because they can.

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[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] silverandroid 16 years ago

136. Holding hands is a sign of friendship in France.
137. One knock on the head can give you superpowers.

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[–] smcguinn 16 years ago

I learned two things, actually: Crap is crap. And Will Ferrell is a helluva lousy actor.

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[–] alcoholicchris 16 years ago

i don't usually get involved but i have no idea why someone like you would come onto a thread specifically for fans of this movie. Are you that bored that you have to fill your spare time up by ripping on will ferrell? I personally find him hilarious (not to say he hasn't done some terrible work, kicking and screaming is a prime example) but his comedy is clearly appreciated here.

and besides, your probably just jealous cause the magic man is an awesome name, and your probably gutted you didn't think of it first.

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] mrwicked7 16 years ago

-A full spread means Dudes pull their butt cheeks apart in Playgirl magazine.

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[–] Foodman14 16 years ago

138- Guys wearing thongs are just "perverse."
139- To get a NASCAR driver to marry her, Carly could easily just flash or grab you in the balls. Each move is apprently effective.
140- Reese Bobby did not want onions on his steak.
141- Reese Bobby was Bill Lumbergh in "Office Space."
142- They did it in a girl's restroom in the steakhouse.
143- "That night, he chose me."
144- Ricky Bobby pisses excellence
145- Ricky Bobby could sign your baby's head if you'd like.

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[–] driewall 16 years ago

146- Jean girard has world-class horse... who are also gay

And I say "I'm dead", and I move.

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