Whats so painful about this movie?

sorry Director91, i came here for the same reason. it was not painful or hard to watch. my question would be "are people like us director91 out of the ordinary"?

I found the movie painful to watch. not because it was a bad movie. on the contrary it was a very thought provoking movie. I thought to myself "I like edgy movies. what's the big deal about this one?" I had to literally look away during the aggressive sexual roleplay sequences. I've watched dark movies before. but I dunno... it was just too much for even me.

The reason it was tough to sit through is because I empathized with Nancy to a certain degree. to me it was so sad that she wanted to snuff out her very existence. that she thought she was an ugly and awful person. she wasn't. but it's hard to convince people of what they can't see for themselves. I understood her shrink's frustration. "Those are just your *feelings* Nancy. their not *you*!"

In the end I still felt sad that Nancy got her wish. but she left behind her husband. he finally saw her for who she really was but it was too late. to a certain degree I felt bad for the guy she hooked up with. by fufilling her wish he now will rot in prison despite the fact he made a genuine connection with her. three lives are ruined by one.

To wrap it up this movie surprised me. Maria Bello was amazing as Nancy. overall the acting in this movie was mesmerising. the movie was tough to sit through. but it was worth it.

~I love the rhythm it is my methoood!~

I found the movie painful in a very personal way.

I found it painful because Nancy's desire to die, as well as her compulsion to feel pain, is all borne out of the physical and sexual torture her uncle inflicted on her. And the entire film was clear (or at least it was clear to me) that there was no hope for Nancy, and we was going to die at the end, just like she wanted.

To me this was painful because the idea was that she had been so broken by the things she experienced as a child that her only pleasure in life was pain and death. For anyone with any sort of childhood trauma, that's a deeply unsettling thought, and can almost be a verification of that voice in your head that tells you that you are broken because of what happened to you and can never be fixed.

The extent of her trauma shapes literally every facet of her life. It dictates her fertility, as her uncle's repeated rape left her completely infertile, and it's implied that the cause was the mere force and brutality, the physical trauma of him raping her. And her mother called her a slut (a sadly common occurrence for rape victims of all ages), indicating no support or love from her mother. Her husband is ambivalent toward her, which is the nicest anyone had ever been to her, and it's all hollow. Her marriage is hollow on her part because she craves abuse- she feels like she deserves it, the way many abuse victims do, and so she inflicts the abuse on herself because no one else will. The marriage is hollow on her husband's part because he's a disinterested *beep* who is basically so burnt out by her depression that he just wants it to go away, so he ignores it and belittles her. This is a woman who has never known love, and the only kind of love she knows is pain.

In a way, her relationship with the man that ends up killing her is the most fulfilling, safe, loving relationship she has ever had. And that's pretty painful.