MovieChat Forums > Desperate Housewives (2004) Discussion > Lynette and the control freak label

Lynette and the control freak label

posted 9 years ago by ksouthworth68
28 replies | jump to latest

Not that she didn't have that flaw, but seemed to me very early on she couldn't even open her mouth if she had a different idea or whim than Tom without him throwing out the control freak label and whining about how he's supposedly emasculated. It was the automatic default. Does anybody think that with that label being thrown at her so often every little thing she did was examined much more closely than it would have been if done by someone else? I mean seems to me that label could have been thrown at Tom or the other wives also. They certainly liked their way as well and had their own strategies to get it

Lynette being a control freak seemed to be harped on as a Lynette specific thing as if it was something only she needed to deal with. Put almost any other character under the microscope like Lynette was and I don't see how too many were any better than her in that regard. In fact it seemed to me her flaw was used against her in a passive aggressive way to justify someone else (with the same inclinations) wanting control or their way. He milked it for all it was worth and then some. I don't see how Tom (I'm gonna pout at you until I get my way) Scavo was any less guilty of being a control freak.

[–] kthoff 9 years ago

I feel the same way... I've watched desperate housewives a couple times through before and I'm watching it right now, and I freaking hate Tom!!! He is one mid-life crisis after another, it's always about what he wants, like a perpetulant little boy, he is the reason she goes back to work, because he says 'I'm going to be a stay at home dad' then gets mad because he wants to go back to work, and lynette thinks it's a bad idea for him to work with her, but he does anyways, then he drops a bombshell on her that he has a love child with a psycho, and that child ends up being a psycho like her mother, and suddenly he has to follow 'his dreams' and open a damn pizza place, but can't even do that right, so lynette has to prolong going back to work, and ultimately quite her job to work at the pizza place, and then he won't let her wear her own clothes, he forced that stupid orange traffic come t shirt on her. And when she gets cancer he wants to bang her only with a different color wig on because he doesn't wAnna be with someone who is sick, and no one has asked him how he is feeling... Tom scavo is the most selfish control freak ever!!!!! I think that while lynette may have issues with doing things her way its not worse then Bree having the baby circumcised behind orsons back, Or susans crazy dramatic ass, or gabby having an affair with anyone she wants because her husband's work hard and she is bored... I think that lynette biggest problem is she doesn't dump Tom and leave him, she goes back to him. Probably because she is so convinced he is the only on who will love him. Sorry rant over, but this whole time I've been watching this time through ive been thinking about that...lol

[–] ksouthworth68 9 years ago

That orange tee shirt thing blew my mind. Mainly because she was portrayed as the control freak when it was completely ridiculous and controlling of him to demand that of her. It was like how much could she give into before it was enough? I couldn't believe with all she let him have he felt he needed another "victory".

Another ridiculous one was how Tom acted when Lynette tried to change the sheets after baby Penny puked on her side of the bed. Apparently she was emasculating to not consider the towel Tom threw over it good enough and she should have just waited for his housekeeping system to kick in. I expected a lot of folks to realize what bs his whining was at that point and question why Lynette was considered the only control freak in that home.

And his speech to Roy about how he lets Lynette have control because it makes her feel safer. What crap. If it was about stuff like bird house placement or window boxes (i.e. stuff he doesn't care about) sure, if it was anything that mattered to him he does not go with the flow. It's full pout at Lynette until he gets his way mode.

[–] kthoff 9 years ago

Oh yeah and I was continuing my binge watching and saw so many more things Tom does... Like try and sell Scavos because he wants to buy an RV and travel for a year... And he's like "lynette I need a passion!" and she is like 'you had one, it was the pizza place, we can't just throw all our cards up in the air every time you get bored'
And then when they have to sell Scavos he tries to make the whole family work There... Including penny.
Then it's the damn facelift because he says he is too old to get a job, even though lynette had two offers, one from the place that wanted to use her to sell and old lady cream, and Carlos... And he wanted to bleed the family of money to pay for his facelife.
And the most recent one is to go back to college to learn manderin..
So yeah freaking lynette may be a control freak but with 5 kids... Someone has to be. Tom is a bonifide moron... He would make his family live in a damn box to get his way... He is a selfish annoying child... And all he does is say how bad she is and how controlling she is... When in reality that's what he needs or he would ruin everything ... Including but not limited to his 5 chdrens educations so he can get freaking plastic surgery.... Like r u freaking kidding me????

[–] 9 years ago

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[–] kthoff 9 years ago

Lol. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad that they are grown up... But as younger kids no way! Lol. Tom would probably be the only one I wouldn't wanna bunk with... If I heard anything that sounded remotely like a mid life crisis I would Wanna punch him lol

[–] ksouthworth68 9 years ago

And then when a family vacation is planned in a later season Lynette schedules a doable trip similar to what Tom wanted before (admittedly on a lower key scale a few weeks rather than a year) and he pulls a Hawaii trip out of the blue after he knew she already planned the other one. Yet she's the one called control freak when it was agreed she'd take care of the vacation plans. How was Tom not one for changing it up?

I just became beyond tired of Tom playing he was the victim of big bad Lynette. He simply made out too well. I never saw someone who was supposedly so hen pecked and emasculated by his wife get his way so often. I never saw someone who was supposedly such a bullying shrew cater to her husband's whims so often. It was like the messages repeated (how we were supposed to see the characters) didn't match the events in the plot of the show.

[–] boxerrebellion 8 years ago

Think about it... Lynnette is disorganized, and with all those kids, plus the big one she married, yeah, she should be a control freak. She is not OCD like Bri, nor a manipulator like Tom.... so she is entitled to any control she feels necessary to freakin' take.

[–] dreamgavino 8 years ago

I freaking hate Tom!!!

I have had this same thought over and over when I was watching the scenes where he keeps demanding sh*t that make everyone's life hard...but to be honest I love Tom as well coz he is so funny...imagine if Lynette had the perfect husband then it would be so boring...I guess sometimes they make Tom out like a villain to help show Lynette's strengths (and weaknesses)...Tom have had his moments though...and when those moments occur they are like the perfect couple and I prefer them over the other couples...

Do you even go to this school?
No.. I just have a lot of feelings..
Ok go home

[–] ksouthworth68 8 years ago

I did like Tom when he got teary eyed at the opening of Scavo's when he acknowledged Lynette as his partner that he couldn't have done it without. Almost made me forget the bs with the fake scolding regarding Austin's firing so Tom could be the man. Unfortunately he had to pull that tee shirt crap the next episode I believe so he could be the man.

It was also pretty cool how he had Lynette's back when PTA mom was expecting stuff from Lynette she couldn't do (even though it really was Lynette's own fault for not being up front and accepting responsibilities she shouldn't have in the first place).

[–] zoepops46 9 years ago

It annoyed me as a mother when kayla set lynette up for abuse and has her actually arrested and when she got sent away to live with her grandparents tom had the cheeky to say something to lynette like " im going to visit my daughter who live FOUR AND A HALF HOURS AWAY"

Wtf lynette nearly lost her own kids, after trying hard with kayla, all the crap that kid pulled and tom still bles lynette? What a d.ck

[–] cecelia_lisbon 8 years ago

Seriously!

[–] supergirlxx110-1 9 years ago

I thought the same thing. It seemed every opinion she had would get her the 'control freak' label.

[–] ksouthworth68 9 years ago

It got to where I was surprised she wasn't accused of trying to control the air she breathed when she took in oxygen.

What bugged me about Tom is he benefited from the very trait of Lynette's that he complained about. He could never have chased his flights of fancy like he did without someone who was willing and able to take charge and catch him if he should fall. She was his 'rock' who could run the show at home so he wouldn't have to worry about his responsibilities if he wanted to go for his and when she did the icky stuff he'd rather avoid so he could be the good cop with the kids.

Lynette being a control freak was all fine and good with Tom when it allowed him to pursue what he wanted to or benefited him. But God forbid Lynette got a whim for herself that didn't match Tom's. Then it was she was all sorts of wrong and the castrating bitch.

[–] cecelia_lisbon 8 years ago

Tom acted like a petulant baby so much I started to hate him, and Lynette got absolutely crapped on and somehow she'd be the one to blame. She put up with so much regarding Kayla, Tom's whims, etc and you could tell she was kinda afraid to speak up sometimes. How Tom got away with having the audacity to get bitchy with Lynette regarding Kayla's departure, as if it were somehow Lynette's fault, is beyond me.

[–] ksouthworth68 8 years ago

What got to me was Tom acting as if Lynette wasn't putting in the effort in regards to Kayla. But what wonderful father daughter scenes were we shown indicating he tried harder to bond with his daughter (or even tried as hard as she did)?

[–] cecelia_lisbon 8 years ago

Exactly, oh no, he was better because kayla called him Daddy with doe eyes. So obviously he was the better one 

[–] ksouthworth68 8 years ago

In all seriousness what would have been the reaction if Lynette did some of the things the other wives did?

Remember Bree getting Ben circumcised behind Orson's back when he was dead set against it (and pulling she gets to make decisions because she's blood and he's not, yet he is supposed to love the child as his own and be the responsible father taking care of him)? There was some outcry, but does anyone think it would have been much worse if it was Lynette?

What about Susan paying off the truck for Mike when he said he didn't want her to? After a little pouting from Mike at first after he finds out it ended up in a sweet cuddle moment in the end. Would that have been the same if Lynette did the same or would Tom have acted like she cut off his package and placed them in a crystal jar to display on a trophy case?

They all made decisions when they wanted their own way to get it.

[–] ksouthworth68 8 years ago

Sometimes I wondered if the writers actually wanted us to believe this or if the scapegoating and having it thrown in her face so much was a reason she was supposed to be 'desperate' (like the show's title). I mean if they really wanted me to buy she was this controlling shew one would think her poor picked on hubby wouldn't have wound up with his way so often. What they said about Lynette was a poor match for what we actually saw.

[–] ADBruns 8 years ago

I think being married to Tom would almost turn one into a control freak though out of necessity. Like, I understand that you have dreams. But Tom had a new life dream every other season it seemed like, wanting to act like a young, single, childless person. Sorry dude, you have a big family, you can't indulge all of your whims.

[–] ksouthworth68 8 years ago

When it came to Tom chasing his midlife flight of fancy of the month and being happy go lucky he didn't acknowledge enough it was Lynette's strength that made it possible. He'd constantly call her control freak but how would he have been able go after what he wanted with a woman who didn't want to run the show? He needed that about her. If he appreciated her I could have liked him a lot more, but he had to act like the very trait that benefited him was Lynette keeping his package under a glass jar as if it was on display on her trophy case.

[–] 8 years ago

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