following the wisdom of species III

Have you ever wondered what you should do and how you should react when you are faced with unusual (and maybe dangerous) situations? If you have then allow Species III to be your guide. Let me give the rules according to different situations as laid by Species III.

1) Situation: You are face to face with an alien-human hybrid woman with a long record of violent murders, her son (still a boy) who shows very specific and efficient killing habits and a new born alien girl who is to become a killing machine in a couple of weeks. It is midnight and you are in the middle of a jungle. WHAT DO YOU DO?
Solution: you take the alien baby home with you and try to raise her like your own daughter.

2) Situation: Two successive generations of a highly violent hybrid alien specis escaped easily from two different top security classified US GOV labs and killed almost everybody trying to get in their way. Now you have a baby girl of the same species who grows ‘six inches a day’. WHAT DO YOU DO?
Solution: You keep her in your basement lab and become surprized (with a stoney face) when she kills your cat. Then you try to make her promise that she wont leave the house since the outside world is bad for her. (possible correction: she is bad for the outside world).

3) Situation: You are suddenly called by your Prof and as you enter his room you found a dead alien sitting on his chair, oozing all over and long black slimey tentacles hanging out of his busted gut. WHAT DO YOU DO?
Solution: you say (with a stoney face) ‘oh *beep* What the hell is this?’ and then deliver your one-liner (quote of the year if you ask me) ‘I’v never seen anything like this before’.