At what point in your life did you realize you were behind your peers in terms of losing your virginity? For me, it was when I finished my junior year of college without having done it, and noticed that 90% of my guy friends were no longer virgins.
shareI think I realized at very young age, around 7 or 8 when I first began to understand the concept of sex and what it entailed, that this was something I would be unable to achieve as easily as my peers, unattractive and awkward as I am. Girls were, and still are to some extent, an entity of individuals that were very foreign to me, and I had no knowledge nor (at the time) any inclination when it came to interacting with them. Sure enough, my fears came true. What little success I've had has been purely a result of dumb luck, happening to be in the vicinity of drunk and equally desperate women, whose standards were low enough to accept me as their sexual partners. There was limited reward in these experiences, undeserved and fleeting as they were. People keep saying that things will get better, but I'm getting old, and there's no light at the end of that tunnel.
shareI hear ya Hansen. Just recently my girlfriend left me, saying it was too much to deal with us being so far away from each other.
My future also looks bleak, as I really can only see myself with women from far away as my own shxthole of a city I live in is terrible for DSR and even the concept of getting a girl from around here is daunting and makes me sick.
Who woulda thunk it, 10 years down the line and here we are
light at the end of the tunnel? We gotta keep hoping dude, with hope at least we have something
Sorry to hear that, Ice. I know it's been a long time, but it really seemed like you were doing better for a while there. Hope that picks up again.
Things certainly don't work out well for everybody, for lots of reasons. It might be a tunnel, it might just be a dead end, but we have walk it with hope or without. So much of life seems to be feeling around in the dark. Some people find another person in that dark to hold onto, some don't.
All we really have is time, however much or little it turns out to be.
Thanks SoFarDown.
Yup, I've been battling through, and putting myself out there again, I guess things aren't as bad as I felt before. Hope you are doing OK also.
early teens. That's when my fears started. I started seeing kids around my age starting to get girlfriends. At the time I don't even know if I had the desire. When I was 15 I knew for sure this was going to be a tough road for me. One of my childhood friends who I always saw when I went on vacation to Italy (my family has a house there) was quite good looking and would hook up with girls easily and he actually stopped being my friend because I was so awkward with girls. That was one of the most confidence shattering experiences of my life that certainly ruined my life for a few years.
Eventually though I got over it somewhat, I got some rare successes through online dating, but only in the last couple of years I've gotten women of decent to good quality (I'm now 30). A year and a half ago I started doing pickup actively, mainly during the daytime, since I hate clubs, and it took me a long time to get the hang of it but recently I've been starting to get some nice results.
Doing this has really changed my life for the better, in fact the best advice I could give someone on this board is to start finding some kind of inner circle of guys in your city doing pickup, if you live in America or most places in Europe it should not be hard to find. You will find guys in a similar situation who are willing to help and go out and talk to women with you. This is invaluable and you will inevitably improve and have tons of fun in the process.
good post Jaco, good example of a guy that kept at it and got some results 🐱
shareLost my virginity to a hot school teacher. I was 14
shareHi, woman here. There are women out there who will want to date you and find you attractive. If I had to guess, a big part of your problem is that you're only focused on conventionally good-looking women, while failing to see the hundreds (or thousands) of women who may not be as physically attractive but who have souls that are beautiful, or are attractive in a unique way. There's a girl out there for you. Really. Just open your eyes a little bit more.
P.S. I am, by Western standards, what would be considered very attractive. This is for naught, however, because I am in a wheelchair. I get passed over for the kind of girl you seem to be after on a fairly regular basis because of something I have no control over, so do you REALLY want to talk about disappointment?
-Carry on.-
Sadly, I was 14 and dumb enough to believe all my friends who lied about having sex.
So, by 14 I thought I was the oldest virgin in my school.
So I was on a mission and was lucky enough to find two 19 year old girls that liked my enthusiasm.
Obviously, as it turned out, I was one of the first guys in my school to not only lose his virginity, but to have a threesome.
Good times...