Max Havoc is back! Why?
Found this on the net after (unfortunatley) I watched this lousy movie:
Max Havoc is back!
Why?
If you haven't read the review I did back in January's "THE 2007 KICK-OFF" Foyeurism of MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON then you might want to do so as a primer before reading about this inexplicable sequel. Now when I call this an inexplicable sequel I damn well mean this is an inexplicable sequel. There's simply no logical reason for MAX HAVOC: RING OF FIRE to exist. The original MAX HAVOC movie is probably more famous for the controversy surrounding its very existence than for the lousy movie that it is. Long story short from that Foyeurism review:
"The government of Guam ponied up some $800,000 for the funding of this film in hopes it would help promote tourism and encourage more Hollywood filmmaking on the island nation. To this day the nation of Guam has made back a whopping $9,000 on their investment. Unfortunately, they put their money in the hands of a rather shady (and incompetent) producer and a certain director by the name of Albert Pyun, the man who held the distinction of being the worst filmmaker of the modern era until Uwe Boll came along. The whole production turned into not just a cinematic fiasco but also a huge scandal in Guam that has since led to serious litigation. It would take entirely too long to explain the whole deal here so I'd suggest just heading over to IMDB or doing some Googling to read about some of the behind-the-scenes havoc that was the making of MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON. Crew members not getting paid, the production running out of money, promises made, promises broken, possible embezzlement, backstabbing, overall incompetence, new producers/directors being brought in to try and salvage the thing - just a total mess."
After being mired in limbo for quite awhile with only some television airplay in Guam, MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON finally got dumped to DVD shelves at the beginning of this year. Now even though that movie was (and I believe may very well still be) the subject of serious international litigation and, quite frankly, sucks hard, Jenna Jameson hard, the people at Rigel Entertainment decided to go ahead and produce a second installment in the adventures of the world's most bad ass sports photographer because they honestly believe this is a franchise worth investing in, and mind you they put this into production even before they could justify it with DVD sales/rental figures for the first film. Here's a money quote from Rigel's own website:
Max Havoc’ may well be the one of the most exciting martial arts franchises to come along in years," states John Laing. "It is an extremely exciting new beginning for us. Rigel Entertainment positions to expand its production capability to include ambitious projects such as ‘Max Havoc’ which address the marketplace’s appetite for original action-adventure entertainment," says Laing.
"Most exciting martial arts franchises to come along in years," huh? Has Mr. Laing even watched either one of these movies? That's a hell of a statement given how little action both MAX HAVOC movies have contained. That's not to say that there isn't any action, but in the case of MAX HAVOC: RING OF FIRE, the fight scenes are very few and far between - probably only two in the first hour alone. Also, describing this film as an ambitious project simply boggles the mind. I guess roping Dean Cain, Martin Kove, and Rae Dawn Chong to appear in the sequel to a reprehensibly bad low budget martial arts movie nobody outside of Guam had yet to see counts as ambitious. It certainly isn't ambitious in terms of plot, production values, fight choreography, etc.
MAX HAVOC: RING OF FIRE sees the return of martial artist Mickey Hardt in the title role of pro kickboxer turned sports photographer Max Havoc, a ridiculously monikered character whose name never elicits as much as a guffaw from anyone. You'd think the name "Max Havoc" was as ordinary "Joe Smith" the way characters recite it without blinking an eye. If Jean Claude Van Damme is the "Muscles from Brussels" then Mickey Hardt is the "Lummox from Luxembourg". I don't want to say that Hardt is lacking in the on-screen charisma and acting talent department... Actually, that's exactly what I want to say. Hardt's accent also seems more pronounced than it was in the first film; could be because he didn't speak as much in the first film as he does here. Nor does it bode well for a real-life martial arts champion's movie career when non-martial artist co-star Dean Cain looks every bit as skilled, if a little less fluid in his movements, when they have their not-so-big boathouse face-off at the end.
Speaking of Dean Cain, the only noteworthy aspect of the film is his frosted hair. Call me a conspiracy nut but I honestly think he did it on purpose because it makes him look like Rick Schroeder and I think he might have been trying to fool viewers into forgetting they saw his name in the credits of this turkey and think they actually are watching Rick Schroeder. After his wardrobe change for the climax, Cain then looked to me like an evil Richie Rich, all grown up and dressed like Denis Leary in JUDGMENT NIGHT.
I knew right off the bat that I was watching another MAX HAVOC movie, not because the name appeared on the screen, but because the film wastes no time replaying Max's final in-ring fight where he accidentally killed a guy, a nightmare that repeatedly haunted him throughout the first film so many times I lost count. Here we go again, only this time Dean Cain's villain character is watching it on his laptop. Max Havoc will also replay this nightmare in his head more than once before film's end and it's the exact same footage as Cain is shown watching. This can only mean that people have found a way to begin downloading their memories onto YouTube. God help up if Spike TV discovers this technology and begins extracting the memories of MMA fighters to help bolster their already martial arts-centric programming.
Another surefire sign of trouble is when within the first five minutes of a movie it manages to make you flashback to the prolonged back alley cop/pick-pocketing street urchin foot chase from Chuck Norris' god awful HELLBOUND. No sooner does Max Havoc get out of the cab at the start of the movie than a street kid makes off with his camera case and leads him on a foot chase through parts of the city.
Now if this movie is to be believed, there's a section of Seattle, Washington called the Parish District that looks like a cross between a ghetto and a 19th century German village. I kept waiting for Oktoberfest to break out at any moment. Instead violence keeps erupting. The crime in this section is initially portrayed as being one step below what we saw going on in ROBOCOP's Old Detroit.
Max Havoc has arrived at this hotel-resort somewhere on the outskirts of Seattle but within walking distance of what appears to be the slums from a Dickens' novel overrun by Dick Tracy-quality street punks. He's there to photograph tennis star Suzy Blaine, played by Christina Cox, currently seen battling the supernatural on the Lifetime Network's vampire crime show Blood Ties. We're told that she was a pro at the top of her game who quit the sport for five years before making an amazing comeback. I guess that helps to explain why she's a woman in her thirties who looks closer to the average female tennis player's retirement age. At no point do we ever see her play tennis either. The character exists solely to be Max's love interest and to look pretty in a variety of outfits. Aside from one emotional (and pointless) speech about her father and an argument with Max about him needing to get over the nightmares of having killed that guy in the ring, her role is so shallow Miss Cox might as well have not spoken at all and just pretended she was taking part in a fashion show.
She's also the designated love interest. No surprise there. It was either going to be her or Rae Dawn Chong and Chong's playing a nun. The tennis starlet finds herself instantly drawn to Max Havoc and who can blame her? What woman wouldn't lust after a world weary Thomas Jane look-a-like adorned with a Julian Caesar haircut in desperate need of grooming and wearing clothes that look like he picked them up at Goodwill? Too Max Havoc's credit, at least he retired the endless parade of Hawaiian shirts from the previous film.
Max tracks the street kid who stole his camera bag down to an orphanage run by Sister Caroline, a very haggard looking Rae Dawn Chong. Max's martial arts skills come in handy not only when it comes to beating up gangbangers attempting to shakedown Sister Caroline, but also because this just happens to be an orphanage populated by children that obsess over martial arts. What are the odds of there being an orphanage somewhere in Seattle populated by orphans obsessed with Muay Thai kickboxing and Max Havoc just happens to find himself there?
Now remember that remark about this being an ambitious production? The plot revolves around a shady hotel owner (Dean Cain pretending to be an evil Ricky Schroeder) who wants to expand upon his resort by gobbling up the nearby property by hook or by crook; the by crook side of things involving the violent street gang he secretly commands and orders to run property owners out. He also has a crooked cop (Martin Kove, managing to stay awake long enough to collect an easy paycheck) to cover his tracks. One bit of property he desperately needs is the orphanage run by the determined nun who has vowed not to leave. After one of the orphans witnesses his gang-banging brother get murdered by the hotel owner for failing to accomplish an important task, it's up to Max Havoc to keep the kid safe from the hotel owner, who also just happens to be a kickboxer familiar with Havoc's past and is also now insanely jealous that the tennis babe is more interested in Max than him.
If a movie with a plot like this qualifies as ambitious in the eyes of Rigel Entertainment can you imagine what a non-ambitious project on their part would look like? Oh, right, I've already seen MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON.
Now I'll admit that MAX HAVOC: RING OF FIRE just breezed by for about the first 20 or so minutes. Alas, that's about how long it took to fully figure out exactly where this plot was going and to begin noticing how long it was taking to get there - or anywhere for that matter.
Since the whole storyline is just one gigantic cliché that means the action has to pick up the slack. Nope, it's slacking too. There's more time devoted to Max romancing the tennis chick and hearing about the plight of the orphans than there is people pounding the crap out of one another for the first two-thirds of the movie and even when the legs and fists do fly it still isn't anything worth getting excited about. The choreography is every bit as generic as the plot. We are talking about a chop schlocky flick where the villain's final comeuppance isn't a lethal kick or a deadly punch or even being shot or blown up, but rather getting pie-faced into unconsciousness by the hero. Okay, that was slightly imaginative.
Though I'd say this film is easily superior to its predecessor, that doesn't change the fact that it's still every bit as bland and generic. I stand by my assessment that there's no logical reason for this movie to exist.
Now for the million dollar question: How on earth did the people responsible for this movie decide upon the "Ring of Fire" subtitle aside from thinking it sounded cool? I don't know about you but when I watch a martial arts movie with "Ring of Fire" in the title I generally expect there to be at least one scene that actually involves a ring or fire or, preferably, a ring of fire.