best bit - Ross Noble: Unrealtime (2004) Discussion

[–] Golden_Oldies 19 years ago

For me, i really liked the bit where he was taking the mickey out of 'On the town' where the sailors jump out of the boat thing and do those poses. And he says 'How come people don't do this randomly anymore. i want to see that brought back and people wacing mugs of beer like this' And he does that weird beer jug swingy thing. Classic.

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[–] andy_187 19 years ago

I was literally crying at the whole deaf boy and chewbacca part on the second disc so fantastically funny. I also love the whole tramp talking into his can and the krishnas, Ross Noble is pure genius.

>>Order some golf shoes, or we'll never get outta' this place alive<<

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[–] lazyawol 19 years ago

did you feel the suspence when he was the double headed ice cream?

I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector; it was beeping all night.

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[–] andy_187 19 years ago

I really think any one who watches him felt the suspence with the ice cream, he's amazing lol

>>Order some golf shoes, or we'll never get outta' this place alive<<

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[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] crazy_child_of_the_south 19 years ago

On the first disc tis the whole Les Miserables thing! Les Mis is my favourite musical so it really made me laugh.

On the second disc the whole 'show me! show me! SHOW ME WHERE YOUR MOTHER LIVES!' thing just had me on the floor. Dear God.

Laura xxx

'MADAMS!'

'You parafin headed peabrain!' 'You overgrown pocket watch!'

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[–] RDW-25 19 years ago

Monkey Love!!! I was crying I was laughing so hard. I kind of got the feeling that the audience on the night didn't quite know how to take that, but I was in pain through glorious laughter! Noble is pure genius.

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[–] CookieDragon 19 years ago

I think the bit that really got me laughing was when he was talking about his scooter, when some stranger said it was *beep* Its the way Noble was demostrating when the guy threw his chips at him - "Ah! Chip damage!".

I also liked the bit where that woman in the audience shouted out "Are you a geordie?", and he was all confused. She said "We don't care you're a geordie", and I loved the way he replied "I don't care if you care if I'm a geordie or not!".

Love it!

Mitch: "Curly, I'm sorry we buried you, but you looked so dead!"

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[–] Dizturbed4life71 19 years ago

I wouldnt give a s**t if you were from Loughbrough

"All you ever do is f'k things up, F'k things up and make me look stupid"-Shaun from SOTD

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[–] alspenoftehdead 18 years ago

"You're part of the UK maths squad?" ;D

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[–] butyistherumgone_1477 18 years ago

MONKEY LOVE! and the ice cream! oh lordy, i was crying on the floor with laughter.

peace out
but why is the rum gone???

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[–] Dizturbed4life71 18 years ago

The bung eye part
"Hello! IM BRAD PITT! Ya seen the wife? shes in friends!"

"All you ever do is f'k things up, F'k things up and make me look stupid"-Shaun from SOTD

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[–] who_is_in_charge 18 years ago

i was absolutly pissin myself when he says 'thats possibly the best answer for anythin ever, we were issued them in belgium'!!

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[–] harrichun 18 years ago

I'm mildly perplexed at the thought of a day trip to Aberdeen!

The one little one-liner I love is "What? Khee High? they've got nee height at all? Well clearly they're not boots, they're shoes!"

What has two thumbs and desn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. Pleased to meet you

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[–] rebeccatrevisan 15 years ago

YES! same! The whole Les Mis bit had be in stiches...

Jes Quille Le Gare!

:P

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[–] Sarah22222222 18 years ago

when he was lying on the floor pretending to be drunk, muttering about having a friend who owns a skin shop.

walk down the right back alley in sin city, and you can find anything

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[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] strange_green_monkey 18 years ago

The "You look like EVERY character in Lord of the Rings" bit!

Plus the stuff about Voles and terrorists blowing up ice-cream vans!

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[–] Jay_Kay_Eff 18 years ago

the bit where it took the piss outa 24 had me crying with laughter, its always funny seeing sumone take the piss outa sumthing u love

That woman deserves her revenge.....and we deserve to die! R.I.P Budd

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[–] redefine 18 years ago

"You! What are you doing? You're shagging a monkey in a Trillby!"
"Er...er...I was issued with it in Hungary. See ya."

"Blimey, someone's booked a lapdancer!"

"Imagine if the lights came on and you were all midgets."
His face is priceless.

"My name's Jack Bauer and there's a bomb on an ice cream van."

"I just looked down and saw a little Essex-based Confusius. (Essex accent) If yer 'aircut goes wrong, wear an 'at."

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[–] heron-4 18 years ago

best bit has to be deep vain thromboses lol it sound like some kind of jazz player and then with the bellows

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[–] dobrien-6 18 years ago

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE! But I do like him on the floor, at the Garrick "what it is right, I've got a grant from the council to inspect the gutters..." and just his little French song. Also, the other song just has me in stitches every time. "Don't get stabbed in canvey missus..." I think it's too much watching Arthur Atkinson on The Fast Show...

Waiting for Sonic Waffle in the mail, so I keep watching the preview on Unrealtime. NO! Just foods! LOL

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[–] redefine 18 years ago

Yeah, but Arthur Askey is a skit on the old music hall performers of the 30s and 40s.

"Eh? Have you seen it? Have you? Where's me washboard?"

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[–] redefine 18 years ago

Oh no. I've opened up too many tangents there. It's a never-ending, expanding spiral of possibilities.

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[–] hippychic46 18 years ago

i love the regents park one where he's talking about a herd of retarded jesuses, and he says something like "if you listen carefully, you'll be able to hear the mating call..." then realises he's gone too far, and starts laughing his head off. brilliant

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[–] yoyoyi 18 years ago

Brevel monkey

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[–] redefine 17 years ago

MMMMMMUUUUAAAHHH!! Why is always bloody me who has to take us into hyperspace? I'm bloody sick of it!

I am the Lizard King. I can do anything.

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[–] steveallanjnr 17 years ago

I actually made a vow to a friend of mine thatone day i would genetically engineer me a brevel monkyand Ross Noble is to be credited for the idea and he will receive the first ever monkey brevel

Emperor Tiberius: death to all those who oppose my undisputed power

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[–] whitehorn6 17 years ago

Definitly the two halves of brie matching, on the second disc-
"I am the cheese lord!"
classic.

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[–] redefine 17 years ago

"Oh great, take a picture of a confused northerner."

I am the Lizard King. I can do anything.

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[–] woah777 16 years ago

The best bits of the first cd "keeping it vagualy imaginary" and "Je suis la gare!" keep it coming nobles on the case

todays pig is tomoros bacon

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[–] rebeccatrevisan 15 years ago

Gawd, there's so many!

I rented this, and there was only one dvd, so I only saw one show... :(

My favvies were the whole Les Mis bit, Deep Vein thrombosis, the tiny Krishnas and the Can Chaser, and of course:

IF YA 'AIRCUT GOES WRONG, WEAR AN 'AT!

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