What I learned from Rumor Has It

1. When you get engaged, bring your fiancé to your sister's wedding, introduce him to everyone and pretend you're not engaged.

2. Mark Ruffalo had better think long and hard before he accepts yet another role as the faithful boyfriend who gets shat upon.

3. Jennifer Aniston has great hair but not much else going for her.

5. If you don't drive exactly the way your father does, you can't be his biological child.

6. If the guy you thought was your father really isn't, then by all means, shtupp him the same day you meet him.

7. You should practice safe sex when drunkenly shtupping the old dude you thought was your father but really wasn't.

8. If you say "blunt testicular trauma" often enough somebody may eventually laugh at it.

9. It's apparently not that uncommon for one guy to sleep with three generations of the same ditsy family.

10. It's such bummer when your cuckolded fiancé catches you necking with another man. Like, can't he cut you some slack?

11. I paid $3.00 to rent this movie and I was robbed.