MovieChat Forums > A Perfect Fit (2005) Discussion > RED FLAG TIME LADIES......or A CAUTIONAR...

RED FLAG TIME LADIES......or A CAUTIONARY TALE

posted 15 years ago by krisluvkev
1 reply | jump to latest

Red Flags should be going up ladies if a guy:

- Hacks into your computer instead of having the guts to talk to you in person,can we say violation of privacy.

- Wants to see you every damn day the first week he meets you, can we say clingy and needy

- Tells you what to wear, can we say controlling

- Gets pissed off when you go to the store on your own, can we say scary

- Sends you a butt load of flowers to work, can we say marking his territory

- Totally disrespects you in front of your parents and friends, Can we say you are the idiot for letting it get this far.

- Gets upset when you fail to come home on time and yells at you, can we say you deserve being tied up to the bed and being choked

Don't be stupid ladies, no matter how cute the guy is if red flags go up DUMP HIS ASS or be tied to a bed and strangled, at this point you probably deserve it for being so stupid.

[–] TheLightFantastic 12 years ago

Yeah, nobody "deserves" to have bad things happen to them because they give someone the benefit of the doubt. The person who is doing the manipulative behavior is the one at fault. That's a "blame the victim" argument which is just annoying and short sighted. Most folks (men AND women, don't just single out women who don't heed all the red flags) don't always recognize the red flags unless they've been in a relationship with someone who is mentally unstable, possessive and/or controlling.

A lot of people are taught to be understanding and flexible when it comes to behavior from others. Unless someone is exhibiting clearly disturbing traits, it's hard to just dump a person because of a few things you might think are weird.

For instance in this film, it's obvious that Sarah is having second thoughts about John after a few weeks because of the constant barrage of flowers. Her friends then chastise her for having those second thoughts by pointing out that his actions are romantic and are supposedly what every woman in the world would love. She didn't want to seem like she was one of those women who tried to find a minor fault with a guy and then dump him so she stuck it out.

It takes some people a lot of years of dating and having screwed up relationships to start nipping things in the bud. I've learned that myself....the hard way. Always listen to your gut. If something seems "off", end things before it gets too far. Nowadays, I'd rather act too hastily than waste my time with yet another jackass. Explaining things away and making excuses for others serves no purpose.