I just watched this movie recently and I can definitely relate to Ruth. My mother was sort of like Ruth's mother and it defiantely is a hard thing to deal with and a difficult situation to escape from. Alot of children like Ruth end up remaining dependent on the abusive parent even after the child has grown up.
"Sometimes a person takes on the coloring of his associates"
We all have parents like that. The parent usually doesn't have to be abusive(emotionally or physically)but is generally continuing the cycle of resentment to the next generation. That is until the next generation decides to put a stop to it. That is why I don't talk down to my kids, act like it's their fault for me being overweight or dismiss me or my thoughts. But we would like an acknowledgement for our success or achievement.
Made you look.
Well in the case of this story, the mother was severely emotionally abusive and manipulative. I think that the worse thing that she did was trying to act as though Ruth and Ruby's son was her son and that she could make all the rules for him like she was his parent, instead of discussing things with Ruth and Ruby. There are parents who definitely don't act the way she did toward Ruth. Sure, there are parents who do mean things sometimes but in general they don't act the way that Maylene did. Maylene is the kind of parent who does end up dead because the abused person becomes fed up and the anger and rage toward that person comes to a boiling point after awhile.
My mother was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive toward me. I was not allowed to have my own feelings and it really did make me timid when I was around her for a long period of time. My younger siblings did not get even half of the bad treatment that I did, even though my mother would lash out at my sister once in a while. She treats my brother like he is the golden child. The frustrating part is when you know that you are dependent on the abusive parent. She and I definitely don't have a close relationship now.
"Sometimes a person takes on the coloring of his associates"
Well in the case of this story, the mother was severely emotionally abusive and manipulative. I think that the worse thing that she did was trying to act as though Ruth and Ruby's son was her son and that she could make all the rules for him like she was his parent, instead of discussing things with Ruth and Ruby.
Sure, there are parents who do mean things sometimes but in general they don't act the way that Maylene did. Maylene is the kind of parent who does end up dead because the abused person becomes fed up and the anger and rage toward that person comes to a boiling point after awhile.I wish I knew what was up with the brother!
My younger siblings did not get even half of the bad treatment that I did, even though my mother would lash out at my sister once in a while. She treats my brother like he is the golden child. The frustrating part is when you know that you are dependent on the abusive parent. She and I definitely don't have a close relationship now.
~ Ruth's mother was way too abusive. I couldn't stand the emotional torture she put Ruth too. Mind you I didn't like Ruby at all, and that she could've done better than that bastard. Poor Ruth settled for Ruby b/c her mother ruined her self esteem.
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"Mostly I dream about being
with you forever."
Bella Swan of Twilight
My mother was not as emotionaly abusive as Ruth's, but she was bad at times. For those children that grow up with parents tha nuture their children's independence it is hard to understand why an adult could be so hooked in and dependent on a parent. Parents create the very buttons they push later.
share"We all have parents like that"
No we do not all have parents like this, If you did then I am sorry to hear that but not all parents are like Maylene.
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imho the only way to stop that vicious cycle generation after generation is to not reproduce. about casey anthony i am glad someone spoke about it the same way i see it, i am not justifying what she allegedly did or making an excuse for her or anything like that whatsoever it's just if you look at cindy anthony and the relationship with her daughter and grandchild and just the whole family, it's messed up and makes sense (to me at least) why she went to the extreme she allegedly did, i don't think it was just about her not wanting to be a parent to caylee anymore, i think resentment toward her mother was definitely more of a factor than the media is letting on. again, very sad situations. evil breeds amongst us.
i'm so freaking glamorous i spit glitter
The mother wasn't abusive, she was protecting her granddaughter from her almost mentally retarded, incompetent daughter who made *beep* after *beep*
Her daughter acted like a child, that was her problem. It's not abusive to point out "sh!t, you have no money, your husband is a psychotic idiot, and you have a baby to take care of...it's a ridiculous idea to put this babies future in jepardy by going out and living like trailer trash".
Many of you would have had a point had her daughter actually shown at any point she was capable of taking care of herself or being anything but a brat, whos brattiness put her babies life and wellbeing at risk.
I mean even at the end she got all bitchy and the people who were genuinely trying to help her and she knew that.
She acted as if someone being there to help her take care of a baby as a single parent was "telling her what to do".
She was pathetic. And it's very sad that so many of you indentify with her as if her mother was abusive to be dealing with her how she needed to be since she brought a child into the world. In fact if any of you truly did have mothers like hers, and think the same as her, I really hope you never have kid.
Very true. Maylene had every right to be upset that Ruby did not work, nor clean or anything else all too productive - but being the "normal" functioning adult, she could have handled it different. I certainly would have had Ruth on birth control the minute she met Ruby. Not only was Ruth socially inept, Ruby was, too. Ruth and Ruby were like children - and Ruby and then the baby only served to fuel more resentment and regret onto the already bitter and struggling Maylene. It seemed Maylene was in some kind of constant personal struggles.
When Ruth tried to talk to her before walking down the aisle , Maylene cut her off and told her she had to go thru with it. Just think, had she taken a moment to listen, it may have spared her life. I think she wanted Ruth to be able to function as an adult in full capacity yet probably knew she could not always make good decisions - what a terrible struggle and situation. As a parent, you would be always worried how life would be for your child and I can imagine wishing and hoping a good, true , caring person would be around to assist and love that child for when the parent no longer could. Maybe that is why Maylene gave Ruby a chance? If you could call it that...
I know this is an old post, but I had to say how much I disagree with what you said.
The reason that the mother had an "incompetent daughter who made beep after beep" was because she never encouraged her. It was obvious that she never gave her daughter the tools to enable her know her own self worth. The reason she picked such a deadbeat for a husband is because she was never taught to think she could do any better.
She was verbally abusive to her daughter, which is just as bad and as damaging as being physically abusive.
I think that they were both equally guilty in the cycle at a certain point. As a child, you cannot control the way your parents treat you, the way you are raised. The mother was also raised poorly and it was mentioned many times in the film. (Not sure about the book) But at some point, as an adult you have to stop blaming your parents and living your life in reflection of how you were raised, grow up and start to live a life for yourself. I understand that she would have always suffered some emotional damage and carry baggage that her mother bestowed apon her, but it's up to her to make a change and stop blaming her mother for her adult life.
As far as the mother's comments regarding her husband, herself and her son living under her roof.... Her home, her *beep* up and distorted rules. He was a worthless husband and I truly believe she was living the life she knew her mother could control out of her own conscious choices. It's sick and sad, but it's very true . Unfortunately she was never ambitious enough to TRY to better herself, only until her mother was dead and her husband was in jail. Which personally I feel made the decision for her, and she was not only able but forced to make a change in herself.