And now, the end is near...

For the past 11 years (not very often in the last few years, I'm afraid) this has been practically the only message board on IMDb that I've chosen to visit. There have been a few others, but those have been for films that only marginally have affected my life in some way. BBM is very much the exception.

Of course not all of you will be familiar with this, so let me explain once again how BBM came to be so important to me.

Shortly before Christmas 2005--a few days before BBM's premiere here in my hometown--I was rushed to the emergency room with a kidney stone. While that problem relieved itself, a doctor informed me that a scan revealed a mysterious "mass" on my liver. There was the possibility that it might be cancer. Over the next few weeks, I had to return to the hospital for additional tests and a biopsy.

It was during this time that BBM premiered locally--on an IMAX-type screen. I went to see it on the Sunday afternoon after it opened--and I left the theater simply overwhelmed and teary-eyed (advancing to crying as I drove home).

I'd never seen anything like it--and the experience had to have been enhanced by both the physical surroundings and the personal trauma I was undergoing at the time. A film that depicted two ordinary gay men in love--not in a large city, not in a show-business or otherwise artsy environment. Two rough-hewn, uneducated men in rural and small-town settings--the kind of men that people to this day insist cannot possibly be gay. Two gay men--as unswervingly described by their creator, Annie Proulx--who were unable to tell each other frankly, "I love you." Two men whose relationship was so worrisome to one of them that he was paranoid that they both would be murdered if anyone found out about them--despite the fact that at least two people did over the years, and we know that he was aware of at least one of those discoveries. Two best friends, each of whom happened to be the love of the other's life.

A couple of times in the past, maybe, I had arrived late for a film and subsequently returned to see the whole thing. But prior to BBM, I had never returned to see a film that I had watched from the beginning. This time, I did. And again. And I kept going back again and again--despite the fact that within a month my liver "mass" was diagnosed to be simply a tangle of blood vessels known as a "hemangioma" (he-MAN-jee-oh-muh).

After BBM stopped showing locally, and before its release on DVD, I made some trips to see it elsewhere. I saw it on screens in downtown San Francisco, near the waterfront in Monterey and in the old Gold Rush town of Angels Camp (of all places!). And I made one trip that still stands out in my mind.

I drove first to San Jose and saw BBM just before noon in a theater in Santana Row (a business district that was constructed in recent years but in an older style so authentic that I thought it was a restoration--until a fellow "Brokie" told me otherwise). Then I drove down to Santa Cruz to see another showing in mid-afternoon.

On the way to Santa Cruz, I saw a bumper sticker for the Jack Black band "Tenacious D." That was also the screen name of a regular poster on these boards at the time.

Then I passed the exit for "Alma Bridge Road."

After that double whammy, I got to Santa Cruz for the BBM-related experience I was expecting in addition to seeing the film. I had been planning this trip online, of course, and I knew that the Santa Cruz showing would be...at the historic Del Mar Theater.

From there, I went to Monterey for an evening show. (This was a different trip from when I went to Monterey to see BBM at an old theater near the waterfront--on this trip, I saw it at a much newer theater off Highway 1.) Then, after my three out-of-town screenings of my now-favorite film in one day, I headed home.

And on the way, I passed signs pointing the way to "Jacks Peak" and "Toro Park." (Haven't been to either one, though they're just down the road from each other and would be a reasonable excuse for a return trip to Monterey--haven't been in that area since then.)

After getting the DVD, I somehow got in the habit of watching BBM every year on New Year's Eve. Most of those times, I put it on at 9:30 p.m. and finished it in time to watch the silliness between Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin on CNN as midnight approached. That's how it was just a few weeks ago--as I watched BBM and started crying again...for at least the 50th time.

And now today I discover that IMDb, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof?), has decided to put an end to these message boards where I've discussed this magnificent work of art with many others--most of whom, I'm happy to say, have either been fellow Brokies or people who wanted to better understand something that didn't quite register with them. There have been some, of course, who came here to make homophobic rants and to take pride in their ignorant unwillingness to actually SEE this film before critiquing it for whatever reason--but I'm VERY happy to say that most of them quickly left with their tails between their legs after discovering that Brokies are not "snowflakes."

For a couple of weeks, private messaging will still be possible on here, so if you'd like to continue being able to communicate with me, let me know by sending me a private message. (Probably, I will be doing the same.) We'll work something out--social media is hardly my "thing" at the age of 57.

I'll wait until Presidents Day weekend to post a definitely final message on here--there still may be posts to be made between now and then. But--this likely will be my last post of any appreciable length. In case I don't see you here before February 20, my fellow Brokies, it's been fun. And it's been real. Yes, it HAS been real fun!

"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx