MovieChat Forums > Christmas with the Kranks (2004) Discussion > 100 things we learned watching CWTK

100 things we learned watching CWTK

posted 7 years ago by kodakjones
6 replies | jump to latest

1. When Tim Allen is involved, you have hardware, and need to set up your lights all around, expect carnage, explosions and unconventional injuries.

2. This is not the first time that Tim Allen has hanged upside down from a rope by his legs and had to swing there a little while a brunette wife is with him on the by his side before he gets cut down.

3. If you decide to skip Christmas, nobody will leave you alone, everyone will hound you until you give in---or don't. Actually, your daughter needs to call at the last minute. Scratch that.

4. It's not Santa Claus, it's Marty Clause.

5. You really need an umbrella!

6. Spike is a bad little elf!

7. Nora and Luther Krank have decided to skip Christmas, and they get their picture on the front page of the newspaper---like a tabloid!

8. Luther couldn't get any wetter! What does he need an umbrella for now?!

9. Leave it to the Malcolm In The Middle---[younger brother] to actually trust a criminal in the backseat of a police car and set him free.....

10. Mary doesn't understand how you just can't do Christmas?

11. Candi heard bad news about Bev......

12. Aubie is worried about Mrs. Krank's Christmas cards!

13. Some people cannot be reasoned with! We call them neighbors!

14. Never, ever try to talk to your neighbor in the middle of the night while he's been harassing you nonstop, while your other neighbor and his whole family are outside putting up Christmas lights. When you turn around to make your point, they will vanish like ghosts.

15. They may have vanished like ghosts, but then they'll be back the very next morning

16. Don't step on the tail of your neighbor's cat

17. You can't skip Christmas without getting the whole town involved calling you selfish and evil everyday, everywhere you go!

18. If your freeze your neighbor's cat with a hose during a storm, the cat will survive unharmed.

19. WE SKIP CHRISTMAS! TOTAL BOYCOTT!

20. Nothing compares to a store bought can of Hickory Honey Ham!

[–] kodakjones 7 years ago

My bad---I meant to write CWTK
Christmas With The Kranks!

Obvious typo!

Have at me.

[–] kodakjones 7 years ago

21. Luther Krank is not going to hit the bad little elf. The bad little elf should stop squirming!

22. Baby's first Christmas---nope, nothing valuable

23. An umbrella is a deadly weapon

24. You can redecorate and make your house look like a hallmark card at the last minute if your daughter calls you and makes last minute change of plans.....

25. It won't be the same without Blair

26. Stop calling Luther Krank Scrooge! He said he wasn't going to shout 'Bah Humbug' at people giving him a holiday greeting.

27. Nora is a little too excited right now....

28. Nothing can come between the bond shared by Nora and Blair, but Luther can barely hug her when she boards an airplane!

29. Luther complains that he booked the trip longer than Blair and Enrique have been dating.

30. Pulling an icicle off your nose hurts like *beep*

31. FREE FROSTY! FREE FROSTY! FREE FROSTY!

32. It only takes but a couple hours to throw together an awesome home party.

33. When wearing a swim suit for tanning, choose the identical one that the models on your ticket brochure are wearing, but tell your wife the new bathing suits are not for the cruise? Huh?

34. That made little to no sense, but carolers can be used like weapons in a hostage negotiation

35. A Canadian Blue Spurce Tree

36. If you tell your husband in the middle of the rainstorm that you'll run in and get the white chocolate and pistachio's he'll tell you not, then volunteer to get them himself, and after being drenched in the rain, he'll get mad at you for it!

37. Bad behavior is always rewarded

38. If you have a crazy neighbor hounding you, demanding you put out lights, calling you old man, hasseling you night and day, siced caroloers on you, give him and his wife a free cruise

39. Get a perfect brown toasty tan in mere minutes.

40. The priest will look at you odd when you wear a bikini after injuring yourself in a mall tanning salon and you can tell he's thinking sex perverted things.....you can just tell

[–] kodakjones 7 years ago

Does nobody else seriously want to contribute to this thread? OKAY, but after I fill it up, don't yell at me for not giving anyone else a chance to participate. I gave ample chances.

[–] Prismark10 7 years ago

41. Never trust a burglar who swears on the lives of his kids.

42. Some of it reminds you of Home Alone. Well what did you expect from the director of Home Alone who wrote this film.

43. When Santa tells you that you should have an umbrella, take his advice.

44. Steven Van Zandt should be glad he made friends with Christopher Columbus. Those Christmas ditty he wrote for Home Alone 2 are like a pension plan.

45. The police can provide an airport pick up service.

It's that man again!!

[–] kodakjones 7 years ago

46. We simply don't want to Mary!

47. If you host a Christmas party every single year for all of your friends and neighbors, the year you decide to skip it, your friends and neighbors won't know what to do with themselves.

48. How can you simply not do Christmas? Only Luther Krank knows how, but he won't tell his wife Nora the secret!

49. Hickory honey ham is only available at one supermarket and there is only one left. If you lose it, throw a tantrum, whine, talk to a man named Marty, and then serve smoked fish. Oddly enough you will already have two cans of it in your own pantry making your whole plight of misfortune moot.

50. Never trust Spike with anything, about anything. On the other hand Spike, stop talking to random adults in the back of police cars and trusting them! Trust me, nothing ever goes right when you're with that kid!

51. Neighbors can vanish into thin air like ghosts when you need them the most to clear your name or when they're in the middle of a conversation with you.

52. It's perfect weather to put up Frosty!

53. Frosty is a Christmas Tradition!

54. Frosty is a Christmas Decoration!

55. Some firemen are just as careless and clumsy as Tim Allan. When Tim Allan is strapped upside down on the roof, and you're part of the rescue team to cut him down, expect to get hurt.

[–] kodakjones 7 years ago

56. I need that stuff from chips!

57. Strange as it sounds, I didn't think to ask the butcher where the chocolate was!

58. You know what? That movie was pretty funny, a lot of 180 degree twists and turns you didn't see coming.

59. Blair's coming home!

60. Good lord those people are too obsessive. There's acceptance and then there's overboard.

61. It's Enrique not N Reeky

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