Mind-numbing garbage. That's what this is.
Here's a newsflash: when people say "there is no plot," it would be a good guess to say they mean "the plot really sucked." But there are always people who will b* tch about the presence of some alleged "dramatic storyline." Yes, we get it. We understand perfectly. You're the same people who play the word game when other people say "your vote doesn't count." Oh, I can definitely understand that logic: 1 vote of 200 million accounts for 0.0000005% of the entire nation's voice. Well, I concede; your vote DOES count, all 5 hundred-millionths of a percent of it. So yes, this so-called plot DOES exist. That bit about the parental units leaving the 12-year-old girl (around 12, rather) alone in a foreign country is DEFINITELY plot, even if no parent in the world would let a 12-year-old girl take charge of a penthouse apartment with an endless credit card cashflow. That part where the grandmother reveals that George is a hallucination to that one guy is part of the plot, too! We don't care that the Grandmother never expressed even the slightest suspicion, did not formally acknowlege the character was there until was convenient for the feeble story, and never even confronted the child about her psychosis even though that makes essentially no sense for a parent to do. Yes, I agree. The plot may have more holes than a screen door, but it is certainly there.
That aside, you assault the people who compain about the feeble structure of this sad, sad movie, saying, "if you're not a complete imbecile to follow the story," they would understand that it is there. Yes, if you're not a complete imbecile to follow the story, you realize there is a plot. I see perfectly now.
You also make the claim that the actors aren't "that bad." Well, you see, they actually were. In some circles, I would get the whole "well, acting depends on the person" schtick. No, it does not. That girl was a horrible actor. No one acts like that in real life. Believable, my @ss. The grandma sucked, too. Everyone in the whole movie just sucked. It was like a demented grade-school play, directed by deaf 6-year-olds (as demonstrated by the musical choices, which seem like a puzzle peice jammed into a spot to which it doesn't belong), and acted by a bunch of foreign exchange students. Speaking of production, you know how they say that an infinite number of immortal monkeys given an infinite amount of time (and typewriters) would eventually hash out the works of Shakespeare, just based on pure random chance? Well, I'm convinced that a few dozen monkeys given a couple hours would hash out something entirely comparable to "Red Riding Hood."
I don't understand what people like about this movie. Honestly. What were the producers thinking? The few would-be-rewarding qualities are completely kicked in the balls by the sequences immediately after. For example, when the little girl is emailing someone at the end, the clicking of the keyboard morphs into the tap-dancing of someone seen at the beginning. This could have been a classic end to a crap movie. Very Hitchcockian: center on the villain as it smiles malevolantly, reverting to its past behavior. But no. No, Cimini decides to f* ck that up major. Instead he has the little girl WANDER OUT OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE. Oh yeah, that's really easy to do: just walk out of a the secured place that is paid to keep you strapped to the bed. As if this wasn't enough, out of nowhere George chops this guy off at the knees. So she follows him to find her Dad, who rises from the dead.
It was just so horrible.
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DirtyGrainius
19 years ago
Ummmm... All I can really say is.....*wipes a single tear* .. That was beautiful. I mean. Thank you for being the rational ying to my ranting yang. Thank You.
So now that both extremes of people agree, it's official. This movie sucks.
Oh, and to indiegoof.... I used cin O instead of cin e because I was thinking of the face your mom used to make with me before you pa was in the picture.
Tootles
"....Not Only Was It Authentic Frontier Jibberish..."
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ssjSky59
17 years ago
anonymous_freakin_bob, You are my hero ^^ I myself wondered how she wandered out of the hospital at the end--and for that matter, was she even still in the same city with the tap-dancing guy? My best friend and I laughed ourselves silly--sure if she's still insane, but what the hell at her ability to go out and murder? The movie had potential, but really... The murder scenes were so hilariously unlikely that it's impossible to take it seriously.
You forgot to mention that her Zombie dad sings with her to end the movie ^O^
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