MovieChat Forums > Azumi (2003) Discussion > This movie wasn't very good...

This movie wasn't very good...

posted 17 years ago by lrntoswim
44 replies | jump to latest

After strolling through Blockbuster I picked this up and the entire premise of the movie sounded rediculous enough to warrant a rental. Old samurai raises ten orphans to become ultimate assasins out for warlord blood?
...Yeah in fact thats on the case, completley rediculous.
Who raises ten orphans for anywhere from 10-15 years and then has them slim each others numbers down to half? I mean honestly the jackass wants to kill three powerful warlords who are surrounded by their own armies of highly trained samurai and ninja's and for some reason he thinks its going to get easier if he cuts his forces in half. Big waste of time if you ask me. Trust me I know the guy wanted iron forged, cold, heartless assasins but was making your mission twice as hard really the awnser?

Scenes, camera angles, and fights were shoddy at best. The greenscreening was complete *beep* Like that scene where Azumi moves "really fast," that was horrendous to watch. Fight scenes were completly rediculous, like the scene between Monkey and the ninja toward the end of the scene.
Let me break this down for everyone who didn't notice what happened here:
1) Monkey jumps through a wall and stabs through solid wood; fight ensues
2) They're fighting...fighting...swooshy sword attack by ninja guy...
holy sweet baby jesus Monkey just slit ninja guy's achilles heel...
3) Ninja's through their secret ninja magic don't need their achilles heel
apparently...because Ninja guy is still wal- ...Did he just get stabbed
in the chest? Like half Monkeys sword has entered his chest and he spit
up blood stabbed in the chest? ...Yes...yes he did.
4) Ninja guy not only continues fighting...he once again uses his ninja magic
to ninja fly out of the castle, or should I say ninja hop. Because he
literally hops on his one foot 25 feet into the air and continues hopping
all the way back to the Masters little hideout to deliver the news.
Is anyone else laughing?

What about that awsome scene where Azumi and Sadistic Transvestite Guy are duking it out on a wooden slat and the camera begins an aerial 360 degree continuous rotation around the "action"...vertical rotation by the way. Not only is it incredably annoying it actually provoked laughter from everyone watching.

Who could forget that final scene where just as the cocky warlord thinks he's made his escape and his crazy *beep* bodyguard is silently celebrating, Azumi...literally out of nowhere...since they are on a boat presumably fairly far from shore...leaps into the air from beneath camera view, slashs our now humble warlord and before anyone can do anything leaps back into the water and swims away...
Did I mention she was completly dry? How did she get all the way from the huge battle that just took place and on to the boat, assuming she stowed away? Or as it is practically presented how in the hell did she catch up to a boat on the ocean, leap out of the water (completly dry) and slash our poor warlords face? And if shes on the ocean...how the hell did they manage to lose her? Its not like there was anyone else out on the ocean that day? Turn the damn ship around and shoot the little slut in the back with an arrow for christ sakes!

Here's a good one...
The action returns to the scene of the battle. Everyones dead, scene looks grim and desolate..Oh wait, look there tribal assasin guy is alive!
(In case you didn't see this movie...which I dont blame you for, Tribal Assasin Guy wears fur and in the final battle scene charged a cannon fixture with a bomb in hand and somehow without getting cut down, blows up the entire building that was filled with Monkey (who wasn't a bad fencer) and his special ninjas. It blows up completley, huge CGI explosion and the scene is completed with Monkey literally being blown up into the air screaming in that all too cliche moment.)
Did I mention he's alive? Yeah he survives. And if you look closely, that saucy fur garment on his shoulders? Not even singed.

And to top it all off guess who shows up not two seconds after he comes up from the rubble? Oh yeah it's Azumi, not only did she have time to swim after the ship and kill the warlord, she had time to swim back as well...and flat iron her hair, and throw her clothes in the dryer, because of course she only looks her best at these kind of things. All before Tribal Assasin Guy wakes up too. Oh and after all this she gets to have her final words with good ol' master, who btw was shot,slashed, stabbed, dropkicked through a cieling, crucified, and finally had his throat cut. And yet he lives and speaks and gives her her final mission, to survive!

And thats honestly the tip of the iceberg, just some of the very memerably horrible scenes I can recall, because frankly this movies story is so boring and monotonous to sit through remembering anything about it is becoming difficult.
The movie was an excellent example of the sleeper film.
Good for a few laughs but really nothing interesting or special. Its so horrible the only thing that kept me watching was the hope that that slut Azumi would get what was coming to her and that the whole movie would end on a good note with the entire cast being killed, slaughtered, or brutally maimed beyond reconition.

Sadly, this movie failed to deliver even that small saving grace.

3 Stars out of 10

P.S. Look out for those shredding bad-ass warrior like guitar riffs! So radical, they'd make Steven Segall look like a ninny.

PS.S...God that movie sucked, and the dubbing...where do they get these people?

[–] XenoVeritas 17 years ago

I can tell you never saw any other wuxia type asian movies before...also Azumi was based on the Japanese manga of the same name. Therefore, there are obviously liberties taken on realism.

[–] shmobbie 17 years ago

this movie was not very good, I had high hopes for it because I enjoyed versus, but the violence in this movie is not executed as well and is toned down to some extent (probably because a pop star is in the starring role) the fight choreography is not great, and again the violence is NOT done well.. when you slash someone across the chest, there should be a slash..

laugh, and the world laughs with you.
weep, and you weep alone.

[–] Viderum 17 years ago

I do agree Azumi is not very good as well, and I have seen many many chambara and wuxia films. Busloads of chambara and wu xia films.

[–] ebossert 17 years ago

Your post was hilarious. I do love the film though. My review should address some of your concerns:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0384819/usercomments-69

As far as realism is concerned, are you prepared to condemn 90% of the Action genre or 100% of the Science Fiction genre? If so, you may as well stop watching them and stick to Tsai Ming-liang films that show people walking around aimlessly for 120 minutes. Or better yet, watch the evening news.

lrntoswim: "God that movie sucked, and the dubbing...where do they get these people?"

Reply: Um, considering how the film was made in Japan, it is meant to be heard in JAPANESE! I can virtually GUARANTEE that almost no foreign movie can escape laughability with an English dubbing. If the DVD had an option for Japanese audio and English subtitles, you should have curbed your laziness and watched it in its original language.

lrntoswim: "After strolling through Blockbuster I picked this up and the entire premise of the movie sounded rediculous enough to warrant a rental. Old samurai raises ten orphans to become ultimate assasins out for warlord blood?"

Reply: Wow, it almost sounds like you rented this one with a great deal of preconceived animosity. Do you have something against samurai or orphans?

lrntoswim: "And thats honestly the tip of the iceberg, just some of the very memerably horrible scenes I can recall, because frankly this movies story is so boring and monotonous to sit through remembering anything about it is becoming difficult."

Reply: Actually, your post doesn't carry much weight at all. All you did was repeatedly point out the unrealistic events in a film that was INTENTIONALLY UNREALISTIC!

I'm exceedingly interested to see your personal top 100 list of films. I say this because I'm betting that a bunch of them are even MORE UNREALISTIC than this film, thus rendering your arguments hypocritical.

lrntoswim: "Its so horrible the only thing that kept me watching was the hope that that slut Azumi would get what was coming to her and that the whole movie would end on a good note with the entire cast being killed, slaughtered, or brutally maimed beyond reconition."

Reply: Where in this film is it conveyed that cute little Azumi is a "slut"? Can you provide some substantial evidence to backup your ludicrous assertion? I'm guessing not.

[–] Cin-38 17 years ago

How old are you? Just wondering. It seems really immature to try to defend an opinion to a film, by pointing out specific portions of a users post. It's really pretentious, in fact. But since I don't know how old you are, I'm just going to assume your young and don't know any better than to defend why you like something.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] mac_alain 17 years ago

It seems really immature to try to defend an opinion to a film, by pointing out specific portions of a users post.

Well, if you hadn't noticed, this *is* a discussion forum. There is, therefore, nothing wrong with replying to other people's comments.

And BTW I am older than you

[–] halforochi-1 17 years ago

im with you AZUMI IS GOOOOD LIKE ANIME BUT ACTING ANIME SPECTACULAR!

[–] saldirai 17 years ago

It's a very bad film. one of the million copies of same old sh**

[–] ebossert 17 years ago

Don't be too specific in your analysis.

Actually, I must have missed those millions of other manga-based samurai films where a cute 17-year-old girl slaughters hundreds of baddies.

[–] mariano_yuba 17 years ago

just hated the transvestite guy, other than that, i loved the film, and even loved part 2 (the fight with the wires between the trees ROOOCKS)

[–] halforochi-1 17 years ago

Azumi "1" is better, I mean a lot better i think is thanks to "Taro iwashiro" and "sextasy room" the sound tracks are so western neclasical metal sounds epectacular on jedaigeki movies! soudtracks were very well situated on the screenplays. Azumi 2 was good but a little dissapointing for me as i waited to see more action and more manga-anime characters but i saw something like a ninja scroll "cover" oviusly a film not by Ryuhei kitamura. I hope Ryuhei Kitamura could be present in the making of Azumi 3.

[–] grummy_grummy 17 years ago

The film was superb. 100 time better than Princess Blade.

[–] brugwillis 17 years ago

I agree, I felt asleep 3 or 4 times during the movie.

The worst thing to me is that Azumi doesn't seems to have that power or strength or whatever that makes her the best of the pack when she is fighting. All that I see is a cute girl with a cute dress executing rigid moves like a choreograpy. No speed, no power and no passion, like she's not into the battle.

Is also quite funny that all the fights are 1 on 1 and that nobody attacks from behind.

[–] ryoshade 17 years ago

I enjoyed this movie for what it is, but i couldn't stand this:

"Who could forget that final scene where just as the cocky warlord thinks he's made his escape and his crazy *beep* bodyguard is silently celebrating, Azumi...literally out of nowhere...since they are on a boat presumably fairly far from shore...leaps into the air from beneath camera view, slashs our now humble warlord and before anyone can do anything leaps back into the water and swims away...
Did I mention she was completly dry? How did she get all the way from the huge battle that just took place and on to the boat, assuming she stowed away? Or as it is practically presented how in the hell did she catch up to a boat on the ocean, leap out of the water (completly dry) and slash our poor warlords face? And if shes on the ocean...how the hell did they manage to lose her? Its not like there was anyone else out on the ocean that day? Turn the damn ship around and shoot the little slut in the back with an arrow for christ sakes!"

It was SO damn stupid and nonsense that I regret this is the way the chose to end it, since till this point the movie was really enjoyable despite its flaws

[–] cadillac20 17 years ago

I don't know why people are trying to find logic in this film. Once I realize what kind of film Im watching, I tend to use as much logic as is necessary and simply enjoy the film for what it is.

-There are two kinds of movies: good ones and entertaining ones.

[–] chriscoates 17 years ago

ryoshade said: "Did I mention she was completly dry? How did she get all the way from the huge battle that just took place and on to the boat, assuming she stowed away? Or as it is practically presented how in the hell did she catch up to a boat on the ocean, leap out of the water (completly dry) and slash our poor warlords face..." etc

Why are you assuming the boat sequence happens immediately after the big showdown?
____________________________________
"...needless to say, I had the last laugh."

[–] miply 17 years ago

I enjoyed this film because I like that kind of stuff. I don't look out for screenplay, camera shots, acting, etc. I just want to be entertained, and this movie provided great entertainment for myself.
Your critism of this movie is much to harsh. It's based on a comic. If you saw all of this in a comic you wouldn't bat an eyelid, so why should you not do the same with the movie? You're pointing out tiny-weeny details and mistakes that shouldn't even be worth bothering about. You ought to watch more movies of this genre before complaining about this because a lot of asian action movies are like this.

[–] ebossert 17 years ago

Yeah. How the hell does Spiderman, Superman, the X-Men or the Fantastic 4 do all those things they do? Do these critics of Azumi apply their logic to Hollywood films that are far less realistic?

[–] Cin-38 17 years ago

Spiderman, Supes, X-Men and others are science fiction. I'm not damning one or the other, but it needs to be said.

Elements of SciFi or fantasy need to be established in a film for it to make sense. Spiderman had his organic make-up changed to emulate that of a spider. Superman is an alien from another planet who draws powers from our sun. The X-Men were born mutants with extraordinary powers and abilities.

Azumi is a ninja. Now, forgive me for being picky. But I don't believe ninjas are known for such feats. I've taken martial arts, pretty much my whole life, and I don't have the ability to fly 20 feet in the air, maybe it's just me. That's not what bothers me about this movie, though.

My problem with this film is the amateurish execution of the oh-so-hailed action sequences. They're so inconsistent. One fight scene where our protagonist slash violently through wave after wave of enemy. Yet never manage to draw any blood or terror through any clothing. I understand this is a fantasy film, but that's just sloppy.

Another example of the films ineptitude is during the same sequence. One of the heroes slashes an enemy in the chest, and holds his sword to him for several seconds. The reason that upsets me is because it shows that Kitamura wasn't paying attention to the scene he was filming. It could be blamed on bad editing, but that's no excuse. Nobody picked up on that?

It's frustrating because scenes like that take one right out of the movie. I was enjoying a very over the top action scene, until the poor direction revealed the illusion of it all. That's not good magic, and it's not good film making.

[–] Lettfer 17 years ago

Wow your a bi@tch or at least an old bitter woman.

[–] Sidaris-2 17 years ago

I could have sworn I saw a post from you on the previous page condemning someone for defending their opinion of the film, I believe you even went so far as to insult them as well. That seems quite hypocritical.

Oh, and how old are you? I hope you can understand my confusion as I find you here on the second page, posting reasons for why the film is horrible. I believe you said that doing so was immature and childlike, did I not? I can only assume that while you have numerous years of experience under your belt, you are still a child at heart. Now, while I was simply searching around and have nothing to say about the movie, I simply could not refuse responding to that obnoxious post vaunting the importance of your age. While I applaud your ability to voice your opinion, nice to see those self-empowerment classes coming in handy, I believe your future years would be better spent acquiring yourself some manners, to counter your self-righteous tone. Then perhaps, you would no longer need the martial arts classes, as no one would feel the need to smack the idiocy out of you.

The first point is, this is a discussion thread, responding to people who put forth the time to lodge their complaints about a movie is expected, and warranted. I for one believe it important to know both views, so I can make an informed decision of whether or not to watch. The second is that you need not insult people just for the sake of doing so. I hope this post has shown you that, not really pleasant, is it?

Oh, and I have to agree with the other poster, you most definitely are an old, and bitter, female dog.

[–] Vohn_exel 17 years ago

Lets not get too violent here guys. It's a movie, some will like it, other's won't.

Anyway, I did infact enjoy the film, although I have to say that it's not my favorite of the manga turned movie flicks. There was a great deal in it that didn't match up as people have said, such as Azumi being dry and such. And I do have to admit that when she's fighting ninjas and it's obvious that she's not even really there, that was a little cheap.

As for the "killing off half your force" thing, that was both a mistake and a purposeful thing on the old man's part. He wanted warriors that could slay anyone. Lets say you have someone that is practically your brother. Now lets say some old fart tells you to kill him. Not so easy is it? Those that survive become stronger in more ways then one. However, I believe that an underthought of the movie was that the old man later realized that fighting amongst themselves and the things he did to make them stronger also allowed for a weakness. If the group had stayed together, the large effect would have been that probably none of them would have died. Also, having ten would have been a much better force, which the old man probably realized at the end.

Oh and I actually liked the swirly camera thing. I thought that was kinda interesting, though I can see where it might make some people nausious. Still, that final fight wasn't so bad, even if it had it's unbelievable moments. All in all, it wasn't that bad of a movie, just wasn't that good either.

[–] Sidaris-2 17 years ago

No worries, Elder Yoda. I simply dislike someone being rude simply for the sake of being so. I'm curious though as to what your top ten, or top five if you have not seen that many, manga turned movie flicks are.

[–] Vohn_exel 17 years ago

Actually I haven't seen that many, not really sure I've even seen five, lol. I liked this movie though for what it was trying to do. I also liked "Princess Blade," though so that might give you an idea.

[–] troika19 16 years ago

As for the "killing off half your force" thing, that was both a mistake and a purposeful thing on the old man's part.

Agreed.

As much as I enjoyed Azumi though I hated the master and he was a complete tool in the end imho.

And am I alone in thinking that the plot is pretty hypocritical(sp?)?

I mean the answer presented in this movie to stopping another war is to train a bunch of kids to be cold blooded killers and pretty much......erm well declare war on the warlords.

Personally I was hoping that Azumi would throw down her sword in the end and quit but sadly she just continued being a good little lap dog.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] alucardvenom 10 years ago

Did I mention she was completly dry? How did she get all the way from the huge battle that just took place and on to the boat, assuming she stowed away? Or as it is practically presented how in the hell did she catch up to a boat on the ocean, leap out of the water (completly dry) and slash our poor warlords face? And if shes on the ocean...how the hell did they manage to lose her? Its not like there was anyone else out on the ocean that day? Turn the damn ship around and shoot the little slut in the back with an arrow for christ sakes!"

Did you ever assume that that scene either doesn't happen right after the big showdown or that she was simply hiding? You really needed that 10 minute long scene of her walking to a boat, hiding and waiting in a movie that's already 2+ hours long?

Whatever happen to people using some imagination and not being spoon feed all the time?

Azumi is a ninja. Now, forgive me for being picky. But I don't believe ninjas are known for such feats. I've taken martial arts, pretty much my whole life, and I don't have the ability to fly 20 feet in the air, maybe it's just me. That's not what bothers me about this movie, though.

You clearly haven't seen any Japanese ninja movies. Almost every Japanese ninja movie that is not drama (Kurosawa for example) has this kind of moments. Even Bruce Lee had some supernatural feats, like jumping from ground to a huge tree? Don't believe me? Check out "Enter the Dragon" and snake scene. He leaps higher then Super Mario brothers.

All the messages the movie implies base on idiocy like getting a hard character when killing your best friend, following every *beep* their old "master" says no matter how braindead it is.

Did you miss some scenes? They were suppose to be like that, the old guy was training them by order of the Emperor to be perfect assassins. He even says that they must have heart and nerves of steel and if ordered to kill a baby, they should do it. That's why he tells them to pick ones they love and cut them down, to see if they are up to task.

as for the movies, first one, fun, second meh, kinda boring, alto villains were interesting and I liked fights with some of them (Spider guy was cool)

[–] redefinehumanity 17 years ago

i don't think this film was shooting for oscar praise, so in that vein i really enjoyed it. lighten up people, movies are entertainment first and formost. bahhh

[–] wowandflutter 17 years ago

I think this movie was okay. The green screen stuff could have been done a little better. There are some sword battle scenes where you can tell the green screen effects are obvious. Also, I didn't really like the ending. Overall though, the movie was okay. Not great, but not terrible.

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[–] 17 years ago

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[–] Sidaris-2 17 years ago

I am going to require the user name of the poster, Torgo the masterful annihilator! Otherwise I will know not to which puny human you are referring.

[–] HaggardMullet 17 years ago

I agree that this movie was bland, probably Kitamura's worst so far, in my opinion
that is. Of course I haven't see Midnight Meat Train, but from the trailer it looks like a generic Loin Gates horror crap fest.