Where did Oscar's ideas come from?
Largely from his own family, apparently.
William Wilde was knighted in January 1864, but the family celebrations were short-lived, for in the same year Sir William and Lady Wilde were at the centre of a sensational Dublin court case regarding a young woman called Mary Travers, the daughter of a colleague of Sir William's, who claimed that he had seduced her and who then brought an action against Lady Wilde for libel. Mary Travers won the case and costs of £2,000 were awarded against Lady Wilde. Then, in 1867, their daughter Isola died of fever at the age of nine. In 1871 the two illegitimate daughters of Sir William were burned to death and in 1876 Sir William himself died. The family discovered that he was virtually bankrupt.[7]
Lady Wilde left Dublin for London in 1879, where she joined her two sons, Willie, a journalist, and Oscar, who was making a name for himself in literary circles. She lived with her older son in poverty, supplementing their meagre income by writing for fashionable magazines and producing books based on the researches of her late husband into Irish folklore.
Lady Wilde contracted bronchitis in January 1896 and, dying, asked for permission to see Oscar, who was in prison. Her request was refused. It was claimed that her "fetch" appeared in Oscar's prison cell as she died at her home, 146 Oakley Street, Chelsea, on 3 February 1896. Willie Wilde, her older son, was penniless, so Oscar paid for her funeral, which was held on 5 February at Kensal Green Cemetery in London.[8] A headstone proved too expensive and she was buried anonymously in common ground. A monument to her, in the form of a Celtic cross, was erected at Kensal Green Cemetery by the Oscar Wilde Society in about 1999. (It is located at grid square 147 – Cambridge Avenue South (near Canalside), set back 20 metres from the curved path – opposite SQ.148.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Wilde
I am left wondering just how important the supposed "social mores" actually were in the Victorian Age. An awful lot of adultery seemed to be going on with little actual consequence...
Another very famous real case was the many affairs of General John French - head of the BEF the first 2 years of WWI - including his infatuation and affair with Mrs. Winifred Bennett
Beginning in January 1915 French had an affair with Mrs Winifred Bennett, the wife of a British diplomat and former mistress of one of his own officers, Jack Annesley, who was killed near Ypres in November 1914. French wrote to her almost daily, sometimes signing himself "Peter Pan" and on the eve of Neuve Chapelle he wrote to her "Tomorrow I shall go forward with my war cry of "Winifred"".[326][395] She was tall and elegant, and the disparity in their heights caused great amusement.[41]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_French,_1st_Earl_of_Ypres#India_and_divorce_scandal share