I GOTTEN SOME MESSAGES RECENTLY THAT GO LIKE THIS: "My GOD your doing warped tour thats a real joke... WARPED is suposse to be PUNK RAWK, Metal, rock and all that hard stuff... seeing you play at warped is a real embarassment im asking myself if this could be a joke.... were suposse to hear good rock not DRAGGGG..."
Well thank the lord you people aren't booking Warped Tour because I am indeed playing and it is NO joke. So if you're going to be embarrassed, there are about 10 other stages and hundreds of other bands that may look better on your "PUNK RAWK" score card.
That's always been the fun of Warped Tour for me - the diversity. I've gone to Warped Tour since it started and being able to see everyone from the Vandals to Chiodos to Eminem has always been the best part of the tour. Its certainly kept the tour alive and helped it become the biggest punk rock tour on the planet. If Kevin Lyman kept bringing back the same lineup that he started with in 1995, he'd be broke and it wouldn't work since half those bands don't exist anymore and we'd all be going to see some other ever-evolving, up-to-the-music-minute tour because that is what is successful. Bands change and evolve, genres die and rise again, and musical tastes roll forward. If you're not growing, you'll get left where you belong - in the dust. So turn on your classic rock radio and stay home this summer if you can't accept that really simple fact. Want to hear "Don't Speak" live as played by Warped Tour First Year Veterans No Doubt? You're gonna have to get Gwen off her solo tour and sit through some Rocksteady singles because its 2008 and music has moved the *beep* on.
How much has punk, rock, and metal changed since 1995? Hell, since the genres started? What IS punk anymore? Is it the Ramones? The Cure? NOFX? Green Day? Bad Religion? Good Charlotte? They all come up as punk on my iTunes and computers supposedly don't have emotions so they can't be prejudiced, right? What is metal? Metallica? Slayer? Black Sabbath? KoRn? Shadows Fall? Jethro Tull won the first Grammy award for Metal so they MUST be metal right? Well what the *beep* are tours like Ozzfest and Metal Master Tour doing booking bands that don't sound like Jethro Tull! Metallica LOST to Jethro Tull - obviously, they aren't metal at all and never were! *beep*, JUDAS PREIST is HEADLINING the Metal Master tour! Don't people know that guy is a *beep* Judas Priest can't be metal if they have a "queer" in the band. And forget bands like Goatwhore and Motorhead. *beep* if you don't have someone who plays flute, mandolin, and harmonica just like Jethro Tull you can't be metal.
If we're supposed to be listening to "good rock" and not "drag", you better burn those 'Ziggy Stardust' albums. David Bowie was as drag as drag could be so there is certainly no place for him in punk rock. Thank god Bowie didn't influence any modern punk acts like AFI, My Chemical Romance, Placebo, the Used, or Fall Out Boy. Wait, are they punk or only punk on iTunes? If you sell a million records, are you still punk?
Let's start some sarcasm k? Just to be safe, we should separate bands that sell more than 10,000 records from those that sell more than 100,000. Those that sell 1,000,000+ shouldn't tour at all. It obviously doesn't help little bands that are just starting out to be on a tour with other, larger bands that draw in new fans. In fact, music shouldn't evolve at all so anyone who starts a new band should just be shot. Death to new genres of music! I just want to see No Doubt play their first record. Maybe they could tour with Jethro Tull! That'd be a classic punk rawk/metal tour just like Warped Tour is supposed to be. Plenty of people would go to see that.
And forget putting any hip hop-influenced acts on the bills. Real metal and punk artists will never listen to hip hop or collaborate with hip hop artists. Gym Class Who? No, no, no punk fans will never, ever want to hear something sung by dudes without mohawks. CDs of punk bands covering hip hop and pop will never sell. Punk goes Pop? Punk goes Krunk? No, no, no, never! Real punk bands like Fall Out Boy will never, ever work with hip hop producers.... wait, I never did decide if Fall Out Boy was punk or just iTunes punk... remind me, what is punk nowadays?
In all seriousness, *beep* labels and what is supposed to be "punk" and "rock" and "metal." Good music is good music and tastes differ on what that is. Don't like Norma Jean? Go watch the Horrorpops. Don't like Reel Big Fish? Go watch The Saint Aliva Cartel. In fact, please watch them because their guitarist Rob has a really smart quote - "It wouldn't make sense for [Warped Tour] to be the same tour in 2007 as it was in 1997. These are the bands that kids like, and the tour is smart enough to grow and adapt to that. You still get bands like Bad Religion playing, so it's not like it's lost all its roots."
Let me roll my eyes while I say this: Some "totally punk" bands have complained that Warped Tour is too commercial, that bands on the tour have labels feeding them money and making sure their hair is trendy-spiked-black and their clothes are all the same as the Warped Tour fans.
Well, I don't have a label, my hair is pinker than Barbie's corvette, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only bitch in Fendi shoes there. Does that make me punker than Against Me! who have a record deal? Anti-Flag has their own label so they can't be punk at all - they are part of the machine, right? Thank god I'm not like trendy bands with spikey black hair who wear makeup like Mötley Crüe! They're just doing it because they saw it on FUSE. And *beep* that guy in the Hurley shirt, he just wants to fit in with the crowd! Wait, what do you mean that is Kevin Lyman? Well, what does Kevin Lyman know about Warped Tour anyway, right? Its not like he started it. Now let's be real because being funny doesn't last forever:
Warped Tour is supposed to have something for everyone and that is what makes is a strong, successful tour year after year. It helped break the bands that define genres like emo, hardcore, ska, and every flavor of punk/rock/metal you can make up a dumb name for. From 'mathcore' to 'screamo' to 'folkmetal', its gonna be on some stage at Warped this year if it hasn't already had its run. I think everyone should be thanking Kevin Lyman for believing that punk can't and shouldn't have one face and one sound forever. No one can listen to the same song on repeat for 14 years. It gets old. Except 'Spice Up Your Life.'
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