I came to this message board looking for exactly this thread (regarding the Disney fight) and I created a IMDB account just so that I could weigh in.
I've thought a lot about this since seeing this film a few months ago. (First of all, it was listed as a gay film on Netflix so there's that. Though I don't agree!) I agree with the OP. The fight was sinister & strangely sexual. It definitely had a rape-like feeling. At first, I thought I was being unduly influenced by having seen the film "Beauty" that same week. I showed my husband the BoL scene first and he agreed that it was definitely sexual though neither of us felt that David had any attraction or lust for Chet. Remember when he found out she cheated with Chet? He's sad / mad and then immediately "aroused." He gets up behind her in this animalistic fashion and has rough rut-rut sex with her. She's freaked & disturbed but not really surprised.
After I showed my guy the BoL scene, I played the rape scene from "Beauty" which is a mean trick to play in someone (as something you can never un-see.) It's actually quite unnerving how similar the two scenes are -- in energy not action. Obviously, Beauty is brutal and violent and the man in that movie feels lust for the younger "boy" that BoL's David doesn't feel. However, both men share obsession and that obsession fuels their behavior more than attraction. Also, ask yourselves what would have happened in BoL if Elaine hadn't walked in? I think that David was groping him in the groin area hence his reaction. Chet had no lust for David and was definitely saying "no" but he was 15 and hormonal. It actually illuminates the Elaine issue, really. His body may have wanted it because she was teasing at his burgeoning sexuality but Chet was in way over his head with these two. I think the final answer to the sinister quality of the "wrestling" scene lies in Chet's response to David's second go at him -- he was frightened! He felt truly threatened! He was scared enough to stab him!
For all of the above reasons, I am convinced that this was so much more than alpha male wrestling. It was alpha male something! Like most rape / sexual attacks, it was about power and dominance. Think about it this way -- what if Chet was 15 yo Charlene instead? It would be all too clear. Chet didn't want to wrestle & David was certainly not playing. He was being really aggressive and acting wildly unhinged. Remember the pills he gobbled through-out?
The thing about this couple that is interesting is that, while they may not know themselves (delusion!) they each other all too well. We don't know initially that Elaine is a predatory & promiscuous narcissist but David does. We don't know that
David is a passive-aggressive nut but Elaine does. When he announces the Disney trip, she beats the pillow because she knows that he's up to some sort of trouble. She's sees a familiar mania developing. Like Chet, the viewer is drawn into the lies they tell themselves with their hydroponic veggies & lesbian friends & Cambodian empathy. We believe they are good people.
Unfortunately, the director seems to think he told a story about "good people who do bad things." In reality, the story is about bad people who think they are good.
Finally, I'd like to point out that David's creepy wrestling game is not exactly a new response to a wife's infidelity with a young boy. In Ancient Rome, it was actually a law that a husband who caught his wife with a boy was allowed to violate the boy for his own pleasure. This supposedly righted the wrong. Men! Jeez!
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