Can you imagine what it must have been like to grow up with just one parent and that parent. Lolita has spent her entire life trying to get something in the way of love, acceptance, approval, or even attention from her father without succeeding. I suspect she is named Lolita because her father desired a "Lolita" type as a daughter. Instead, he got an overweight, not particularly attractive girl that he had no interest in. Ironically, his second daughter is a "Lolita" type, but he cannot relate to her either.
The really insidious thing about Étienne is that, perhaps from some abstract sense of his responsibility or some concern about his own image, he gives Lolita just enough that he keeps open the possibility that someday he might give her the love and approval that she so desperately wants.
Actually, Étienne seems to want his daughter to fail as that will justify his neglect of her. I believe Étienne leaves the concert because he cannot stand the possibility that Lolita might be good at something. I am sure it has been that way her entire life.
Yes, Lolita is a pain, and she recognizes it. It is, however, a considerable tribute to her spirit that she is not a complete basket case. She is doing remarkably well under the circumstances.
P.S. On reflection, I stated something that we don't actually know in my first sentence. All that we know about Lolita's mother is that she split from Étienne when Lolita was three and now lives in Martinique. We don't know who raised Lolita. We don't know how much was mother, father, various women employed to look after her, relatives, boarding schools, or summer camps. Whatever the details, it does not look like Lolita grew up in a warm, supportive, loving family. I will stick with the rest of what I wrote.
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