Deer poachers, hearing loss, and investigation techniques

So when stink palm and his crew of underwater demolition experts find those 2 unsuspecting dudes in the woods, they attack them and the blond guy hops on top of one, flips him over, pulls an ID of some sorts out of his pocket, glances at it, smacks him in the back of the head with it and says "deer poachers". Was that his exclusive Deer Poaching Membership Card?

The blond guy then begins to violently shake the dude he's sitting on top of for some reason while dude mentions something about 2 others who were out in the woods with them, and that they both disappeared the night before, thinking they were nabbed by the people now beating them up. There's no questions from the expert army crew about what these guys are doing, how long they've been there, who these other 2 people are that went missing that they definitely didn't capture, if they've seen their lost army brethren, or anything unusual at all. Instead they threaten to kill 'em and then kick 'em loose. As if it wasn't bad enough to be beaten up, threatened, and humiliated by the military, a moment later they're killed by Cotton Mouth Joe and our expert team has apparently all gone deaf as they can't hear the screams from just 15 or 20 feet away.

So many questions... The army guys know something strange is happening here in the woods because their military comrades are disappearing and possibly KIA. Why would you release suspicious individuals you found in the same area where your military pals are thought to have disappeared? How do you know they aren't a couple of crazy killers that happen to be really good actors putting on a show after being caught? Or if you think they're a couple of hapless hunters, as they apparently did, why would you release them into a hostile environment that's likely taken the lives of these highly trained soldiers? What if you ended up meeting these clowns again later on and they got nervous and started shooting at you by accident, or not by accident? And finally, why is deer poaching worthy of a death sentence?


Before I conclude this post I would also like to bring up the severe hearing issues that plague everyone in the movie, most notably this group of army rangers and not delta force members.

1) Early in the movie, Cotton Mouth Joe finds his way into a military installation of some sort. He crawls up in the ceiling and snatches one of a pair of guys patrolling the hallways of a very wet looking building. I'm sure it was moldy and smelled bad in there, but I thank the hard working men of that establishment for being there anyway. Now these two guys had just split up a moment earlier, taking different hallways. When CMJ snatched up the one guy there's an audible groan followed by chunks of ceiling tile and his firearm falling to the concrete floor. The remaining solder glances back for a moment, the look on his face is one of "Hm, I thought there was someone with me but I can't be sure now. Also, what was that noise?" and continues on his way.

2) A strange Indian is found in the middle of the woods. He's first seen from behind with short greyish hair, rocking back and forth and singing. The front view is much different... He's now suddenly motionless, making no sound whatsoever, and has long white hair. After they share a can of beans and a story that makes no sense, the team up and leaves the suspicious individual to look around. A suspicious rider is seen off in the distance, but they decide not to investigate and return to the suspicious Indian instead. Now, if you watch the cuts closely as the team returns to their previous location you'll see the blond woman standing completely still from the point where they leave to the point where they return, she doesn't move an inch. The camera simply cuts to the left of her, still in frame, motionless, and the blind Indian has gone, packed up his camp and left. This is approximately 2 feet away from the expert army guys.

And now for some Q&A:

Q. But Dong, the scene where they first leave the Indian is quite different. They're shown to be walking quite a distance to get to the area where CMJ is wandering around.

A. That's true, but it's merely recycled footage from 19 minutes earlier when we first meet the team. Therefore we can only go with the return cuts to fully understand what happened: 2 feet, a lazy actress, and bad editing.

3) A fisherman, fishing off the side of a 300 foot waterfall, is shot in the chest with an arrow and falls over the side of the waterfall. His screams echo in the distance. The team pauses for a moment because they thought they heard something, but then go back to whatever they were doing and don't bother to investigate the suspicious event.

4a & 4b) Then one of their own members is killed on the outskirts of their own camp. She's apparently the first on watch, behind a nicely protected position behind some trees. CMJ appears out of nowhere, from the editing it looks like he's coming toward her protected position, which she abandons for some reason and is immediately impaled by one Cotton Mouth Joe. She's yelling and screaming like crazy the entire time. Apparently the only one that hears it is Casper Van Dien, who wakes from his slumber and follows CMJ, leaving the camp without alerting the rest of the team to what just happened, finds a busy road in the middle of nowhere, where a trucker inexplicably stops and abandons his truck so CVD can hop into it an drive off. The trucker couldn't be more than 10 feet away at the point where the truck door slams shut, but there's no complaints from him.

And now for some Q&A:

Q. But Dong, maybe he just had to take a dump so bad he couldn't risk a head turn?

A. That is a possibility. We may have to cross 4b off the list.

5) And finally, wingus and dingus.

Who sent these deaf people that don't know how to investigate anything to investigate something in an environment that will probably require keen hearing?


If you can answer all of these questions I will reward you with a bag of chocolate covered pretzels.