This should be fun...
Mention something you have "learned" from House Hunters.
A house is not worth buying unless it was an open concept layout, stainless steel appliances, and
Also see: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=664994
A house is not worth buying unless every wall is already painted the exact color I want.
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I've learned that no one, except me, has a budget under $200,000 You can work at McDonald's, and your spouse at 7/11, but you can afford a $300,000 home.
Popcorn ceilings will cause you to go blind, or cause a dreaded disease, or cause you to be the talk of the neighborhood.
You can't cook well on a black or white stove, a black or white fridge will turn your milk sour. You must have stainless to keep the health department at bay
There is no way under the sun that you can possibly have only one sink in your master bath....it is understood, you MUST have a master bath to begin with. The hordes and hordes of company that the buyers must get will be relegated to one of the lesser baths, they MUST....NOT....BE....ALLOWED....NEAR...MY....BATHROOM!
<gasp>...the laundry's in the basement?????? It must never, ever be in the basement. No matter that it is in the majority of homes....for House Hunters, it must be a second floor laundry center.
Walk in closets must be the size to house a small family from China
People who want to live in the city center must have it be made possible that they will never hear traffic or see pedestrians outside their home. And neighbors must be a half acre away. However, bars and five star restaurants must be a minimum of five feet away
Paint cannot be changed once a house is purchased. Who cares about wiring and plumbing...paint is what counts the most
Anytime they say "are those planes flying over the house? That is way too much noise" or "is that the expressway/freeway behind the back yard? That is way too much noise"....that will be the house they pick
If it's any consolation, MaineCoon1995 (and everybody else), there are about 100,000 people yelling the exact same thing at every episode when you are. Misery loves company and all that.
In fact, I think HGTV is missing out on a marvelous opportunity here. We all love the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, right? HGTV is perfectly aware that 99% of viewers are sitting at home snarling death threats at the insufferable prospective home buyers, so why not have a "soup Nazi" realtor who says what we're all thinking anyway? At time, Love it or List it's David Vizentin has given us a taste of snark:
Sulky home buyer brat,"I really don't like that vinyl siding."
DV: "Well, we're seeing it more and more in your price range*, so you'd better get used to it."
*
Or:
Home buyer: "The neighbors can see into the backyard."
DV: "So? What are you going to be doing back here: cooking meth?"
Bless his little receding hairline, but I do love that man.
Mainecoon1995 - Great post. Thanks for making me laugh.
shareThe more someone talks crap about a house, the more likely it is that they will pick that house.
If my budget is $250k, and I pick a house for $240K, I think that I have 10K CASH left over to remodel.
Everyone apparently works from home and needs a home office.
If you want modern and turnkey, then your husband will most assuredly want an older fixer upper.
Maybe poker's just not your game, Ike. I know, let's have a spelling contest.
Women get ALL the closet space while men must make do with a small drawer in the basement somewhere.
Looking at a huge walk-in closet is always:
Wife: I guess this is big enough for MY stuff! Not sure where you're going to put YOUR stuff!
Husband (and everyone else, I guess): He he.
Oh, that's SOOOO funny! And you are the first couple to EVER say that! LOL!
If you can't see your children at ALL times, they will spontaneously combust. And Ted Bundy will come back from the grave and kidnap them. Seriously, you MUST HAVE THAT OPEN CONCEPT OR YOUR CHILDREN WILL DIE! DIE I TELL YOU!
shareTed Bundy never kidnapped children. He was handsome and charming and seduced women whom he later killed.
However, kids can have accidents when you can't see them and seriously hurt themselves. That's what the mothers and fathers are thinking. Or they can break things. Or write on walls. Or. . .
Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)
Ted Bundy did kill at least one child. When he was still a teenager himself.
Trust me, your kids are not going to die if you can't see them 24/7. People lived in non-open-concept homes for a LONG time without mass kiddie casualties.
You need a sense of humor.
Kids may not die but can hurt themselves when you can't see them. Or they can make messes, ruin furniture or carpets or color on walls. If a parent can see them, he or she can stop them before something untoward happens.
Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)
I didn't think you were bragging at all. Not sure where you got that.
Sure, kids can have accidents and cause damage if not watched. That doesn't mean that you can't raise kids in a home that has separate rooms for the kitchen, dining room, living room, etc. The people on HH act like CPS will take their kids away or something if they can't see their kids all the time. It's pretty ridiculous.
A) I'm not even a parent but I know that it's when the little buggers get quiet that's when they are up to something! B) I told jabell she brags a lot. TMI all the time.
shareI honestly don't mean to brag; I'm just responding to other posts. Maybe I don't phrase things as well as I should. I apologize to anyone I've offended.
Boo Hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my PLASTIC hand!--Lindsey McDonald (Angel)
I agree. I raised my two girls in non open concept homes and they never got into any trouble or made messes. Babies can be put in a play pen or baby swing as I did. When toddlers, the tv works well at keeping them entertained. If they are that worried, put them at the table and let them color or play with toys. Are the husbands never home when they cook? Not all of them are single mothers. Older children can help watch the younger siblings. It is not rocket science.
🏁
My brother and I were toddlers/pre-schoolers in the 1960's and grew up in a house where all of the rooms were closed off from each other. Mom and/or dad had to be in another room most of the time and we're both still alive. Of course, that was in the days before helicopter parenting and spoiled, bratty kids. We didn't write on the walls or furniture or carpet either.
sharefor some reason boring people on this show think they need lots of privacy.
🎍Season's greetings!🎅🌲
If you can't see your children at ALL times, they will spontaneously combust. And Ted Bundy will come back from the grave and kidnap them. Seriously, you MUST HAVE THAT OPEN CONCEPT OR YOUR CHILDREN WILL DIE! DIE I TELL YOU!
always have plenty of chopped veggies when you entertain people.
🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴
Carpet is unacceptable.
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