The Matrix Script.
Sean: In a few seconds will be sipping on some crys’ and watching the 2003 MTV Movie Awards
Justin: Quit playing around Sean
Sean: I’m not dude my key won’t fit
Keymaker: You must be the ones
Justin: Oh cool it’s the super’
Keymaker: Actually I'm the Keymaker. Don’t worry you’ll be inside in just a moment
Sean: Awesome! Thanks
Keymaker: What's happening hot stuffs?
Sean: Urgh dude
Justin: Where the hell are we?
Andy Dick: Your in Zion baby
Sean: What is this place?
Andy Dick: Duh its obviously an under ground city where the last remaining humans live and the robots are coming to kill us doesn’t that just make you wanna party YEAH
Justin: Dude lets get out of here
Sean: I don’t know man these girls are pretty hot check it out you can totally see their nipples
Andy Dick: Oh my god there's Morpheus woo I love you Morpheus
Morpheus: Silence! Hear me
Andy Dick: He’s having a huge orgy in his place tonight or at least that's what many of us have heard
Morpheus: It is true what many of you have heard
Crowd: (Cheers)
Andy Dick: Yeah. Morpheus, what can we expect at this orgy?
Morpheus: Machines
Justin: Man I'm out
Sean: Sounds kinda kinky ha ha, ow ow ow
Andy Dick: Look I'll see you guys there and bring plenty of lube’
Justin: Laughs
Sean: What
Justin: Nothing
Sean: Great an infinite hallway of doors
Justin: One of these has to lead back to your apartment
Sean: You know what you try that one, I need to use this one
Neo: I see Trinity and something happens, something bad and she starts to fall and then I wake up
Oracle: Now that's F*cked up
Justin: I am so sorry to interrupt you guy’s but I'm really lost
Oracle: Wait a minute you that boy from N’sync what happen to your jerry curl man that was a good look now that was hot you know them boys right?
Neo: I've never heard of them
Oracle: You’ve never heard of N’sync?
Neo: No
Oracle: Those boys can dance come on man show erm your moves
Justin: Do I have too?
Oracle: I'm the oracle dammit
Neo: If I had to guess I'd say your a program from the machine world
Justin: Na man I'm just doing the robot here you should try it
Oracle: Yeah.. work it come on Neo go get in there man do the robot
Neo: Why?
Oracle: Come on man you the one, you the one, you can do it all
Neo: No
Oracle: Come on man no more orogarto Mr roboto
Justin: You can do the robot with JT
Neo: What if I can’t, what happens if I fail?
Justin: Ok dude lighten up for real it’s just the robot
Neo: No, I can’t do that, I won’t
Oracle: Well hell I will, talk to me boy, don’t be scared
Justin: Oh God
Oracle: Oh do the part do the naked part
Agent Sean: Mister Timberlake
Justin: Mr William Scott
Oracle: You the guy that got peed on in American pie, oh you hitting the spot, how big is your fist, good lord, hey wait a minute man this Sh*t is dry clean only
Agent Sean: you’ll like being a dude
new Agent Sean: I do
Justin: That is a sh*t load of stifflers
Agent Sean: Stop...... hitting...... yourself ...... who farted?
Agents: Laughing
Agent Sean: Sean's control yourselves.... lets get mister Timberlake
Agents: Sean pile... Sean pile.... jerk wad.... Sean pile etc.
Agent Sean: wet willy mister Timberlake
Sean: Ow Justin you really hit me, that is so not cool
Architect: Hello I've been waiting for you three
Neo: Who are you?
Justin: Yeah who are you?
Architect: I am the Architect but please call me Larry
Sean: Hey Larry
Justin: Larry
Architect: I created the Matrix and several popular video games including Q*Bert and Dig Dug
Justin: Remember that?
Sean: Yeah
Architect: I didn’t create Frogger but I came up with the name for it, can you believe they wanted to call it Highway Crossing Frog
Sean: That is so lame
Architect: I know, it’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard of “Highway Crossing Frog”
Neo: Why am I here?
Sean: Yeah why are we here?
Architect: Is there an echo in here?
Echo: Is there an echo in here?
Architect: The MTV Movie Awards are a systemic anomaly inherent to the programming of the Matrix, although the transport process has altered your consciousness you ineradicably remain human, ergo, concededly, vis-a-vis, you know what I have no idea what the hell I’m saying but I thought it would make me sound cool
Neo: You haven’t answered my question
Architect: I’m feeling a little venerable right now so you just need to chill out, erm can you do that, I appreciate that, thank you. Now originally Neo was the chosen one to host the show but hosting is a full time commitment and he’s been a little distracted lately
Neo: Trinity
Architect: See what I’m talking about? That’s why I brought in Sean and Justin because you my friend are completely pussy whipped
Sean/ Justin: Oooh
Neo: Bullsh*t
TV Neo’s: Bullsh*t
Architect: Watch the sass captain sassy pants
Sean: Yeah your kind of spazing out dude
Neo: You haven’t answered my question
Architect: Yes I did, you see what I...
Neo: You haven’t answered my...
Architect: I’m trying you need to just let me talk...
Neo: Why am I here?
Architect: Urgh would you shut up
Neo: You won’t let it...
Architect: No you won’t let it, I’m the one who talks ok mouth shut ears open
Neo: You haven’t answered...
Architect: You do not want to see me get out of this chair ergo open your yapper one more time and I’m gonna architect a world of pain all over your candy arse ERGO, VIS-A-VIS
Neo: This is about...
Architect: CONCORDANTLY. Justin I apologise I don’t usually like to use my big voice
Justin: That’s alright dog just tell us how to get to the movie awards
Architect: There are two doors the door on your left leads sissy boy here back to his bitch uh ha what’s up G you can handle it, the door on your right leads you to the 2003 MTV Movie Awards and the mini is for Muffin to go out and piddle. What uh ha uh ha hey no you are bizarre
Sean: Thanks Larr’
Architect: Don’t mention it oh and hey go host the sh*t out of that show
Justin: Boom
Neo: If I were you...
Architect: Bite your tongue, bite it
Neo: I would hope that we don’t met again
Architect: Why d’you say that I thought I told you to shut up I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.
Twin 1: "We are getting aggravated" Twin 2: "Yes we are"