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Open relationships - Does this movie help or hurt it?

posted 15 years ago by I_Am_Quaid
16 replies | jump to latest

I'm a young fella. Only in my early 30's. I'm pretty sexual. I like women. Lot's of different shapes and sizes. I'm not a cheater or anything, I am married. But as a normal, sexual being I don't pretend I'm not attracted to other people. I also know that it's totally healthy and normal.

Truth be told, I might be open to the suggestion of an open relationship. But when I see Kinsey and his crew and how (initially all was hokey dorey) it all fell apart if makes me doubt how realistic it is. Is it simply a naive, idealistic belief that we can mate freely like animals?

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] I_Am_Quaid 15 years ago

I'm really torn on it. Obviously, the thought of being allowed to have sex with numerous hot ladies is appealing to any man. It's in our make up.

But the bottom line is we aren't like animals. We can rarely hump (and just hump) without complications. Just like in this movie, it started out all great, but people eventually got jealous.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] I_Am_Quaid 15 years ago

Why is it not natrual? Animals do it.

I think it's natural to want to do it. But to do it every time is not logical, reasonable, or even ethical. Screw, say every 5-6 out of 10 people that make you hot. Much more reasonable number ;)

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] I_Am_Quaid 15 years ago

Well we are, we're just more evolved. We still have instincts/natural urges.

If we can get past the jealousy, I do think marital problems can be solved be more open (but not full-blown swinger level) relationships.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] I_Am_Quaid 15 years ago

People get bored of the same partner. You may still love them, but that doesn't mean you don't have a desire to sleep with someone else.

Cheating is avoiding it. Not if you talk about it, but still do it. Imagine if we didn't sneak around about it and rather opened up about our desires.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] subase 13 years ago

An open relationship may be admitting to the sexual limitations of one or both partners. And it could help in that respect.

But increasing this to makeup for each partners emotional limitations will end the marriage very quickly, commonsense really.

But really it's up to the individual couple.

It's clear Kinsey in the film wasn't comfortable with an open relationship, he was emotionally sensitive overall and possessive of his more free spirited wife. And just like when Kinsey asked her to marry him, his wife sacrificed aspects of her sexual and emotional longing to remain monogamous with Kinsey. So an open relationship didn't work in this case.

[–] soccerchickusa_3 14 years ago

"Why is it not natrual? Animals do it."

I had conversation about this very idea. And although animals can mate with several different animals and not be affected by it, I believe that is what seperates us from animals. The fact that we can analyze, feel, be logical, and form relationships.
Bottom line, I think that's exactly why humans cannot have sex with several different people while they remain invested in a particular relationship. To some degree, we're too emotionally attached.
That's my two cents :)

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] mv5 13 years ago

Everything is natural we're humans for not robots. and animals get jealous and kill eachother as well. Monogamy is normal, open relationships are normal (but few can carry out successful ones, i definitely wouldnt be able to deal with one)

[–] sandifay62 13 years ago

I think the people that have open relationships are probably too busy humping to watch this movie.

[–] streakyfuzzer 12 years ago

Quaid, I'm with you. I believe in the Open Relationship. I think the reason most people don't make it work is simply because their egos get in the way. The human ego is an insecure, frightened little crybaby and will squeal if it thinks somebody doesn't "love it right." Jealousy flares up and the drama starts.

If people can just accept the reality that they aren't the perfect man or woman and can't possibly be everything their partner needs, they might be able to allow their partner (and themselves) to enjoy a fling here and there. Insecurity wears relationships down, along with the expectation of your partner to "make you happy."

The truth is that only 1 person can make you happy, and that person is yourself. Overcome your fears and let yourself be free. And let your partner be free.

Of course, I wasn't there to observe Kinsey and his Inner Circle, but the film doesn't seem to address HOW a person can overcome fear and insecurity in one's own personality, let alone in a relationship. It just seems that Kinsey preached that relationships should be open...everybody tried it...everybody failed. Kinsey was not a marriage counselor, he was a sex researcher.

[–] Errington_92 12 years ago

Is it simply a naive, idealistic belief that we can mate freely like animals?

I would say so. Although in Kinsey they show sexuality as a part of human nature and how people should not be ashamed of sexuality, it also shows human sexuality having flaws. In the case of Kinsey it was that there are limits which should be given as it will lead to an unhappy end such as the two co - workers fighting each other over one openly sleeping with the others Wife.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not".