MovieChat Forums > Assisted Living Discussion > Boring, banal, bummer

Boring, banal, bummer

posted 18 years ago by jmact
10 replies | jump to latest

I should qualify this by saying I'm an almost 60 yr old social worker and that we recently put my father-in-law in assisted living, hence our interest in seeing the movie. This is essentially a student film that is a documentary along the lines of Frederick Wiseman with a small, rather trite scripted story woven in. 'Pot smoking slacker benignly screws with an elderly woman in early dementia whose family has abandoned her.' Outside of these two figures, whose characters are marginally developed (the woman is a competent actor, the guy successfully acts out the part of a marginally compassionate jerk, if that is what he is trying to do), everything else is documentary and lacking compassion. You end up knowing a little more about the old woman, but really don't get much on Todd, in spite of the stupid 3rd person commentaries. Lots of elderly people wandering around the nursing home looking lonely, bored, and frankly stupid in a superior, sort of disrespectful way. You keep waiting for something more meaningful to happen, to develop, and you're disappointed. The nursing home, although too hospital-like in design and decor, actually comes across as doing a competent job in program and care. What is missing is some sense of the social humanity that I expected from the reviews I read before seeing the movie. And in decent assisted care facilities, there is an abundance of humor, compassion, pathos, social relationships primarily between residents and, only secondarily, residents and staff.

There is a place for a good MASH or Cuckoo's Nest-like assisted living movie or something, it's fertile ground, and most of us Baby Boomers will be there ourselves before too long. I have to say I don't think I'd be interested in documentary, espose, or cinema verite on this subject. We did not find this particular entertaining. As a student film, it might work if it was pared down to a 15-20 min. short.

[–] JoeLoebner 18 years ago

I think the movie projects on what it's really like in a nursing home. Orderlies just treating it just like a job taking care of old people without compassion. Life in those places is so depressing. I hope i don't end up in one in my last days.

[–] yehaww 18 years ago

I rather enjoyed it. Although I keep hearing it described as a story about a woman who thinks Todd is her son. The director even described it that way on the Charlie Rose interview, I think. I don't think I ever really thought that she believed Todd was her son, except on the phone. If she even HAS a son is in question as far as I'm concerned. She even makes a comment at the end when they're sitting together that makes it sound like she knows exactly what's going on.

[–] Disapparate 16 years ago

I agree with all the points you make yehaww and I really enjoyed the film as well.

[–] JesX 18 years ago

The nursing home, although too hospital-like in design and decor, actually comes across as doing a competent job in program and care.
There is a place for a good MASH or Cuckoo's Nest-like assisted living movie or something

The nursing home was real, of course they came across as competent. Greenebaum was going for a film that blurred the lines between acting and reality, and he was very successful. What you consider 'boring' is actually accurate portrayals of time passing in a nursing home. While Mash and Cuckoo's Nest were entertaining, they couldn't be mistaken for real life.

I work in the healthcare field, and while there is an abundance of empathy and humor, there are a LOT of people just doing their jobs. And in rest homes especially, many professionals are capable of a certain amount of detachment. When you're in a field with a high rate of mental illness and mortality, it's important to balance your compassion.

I’ve recently learned something about self-respect... that I don’t have any. -Jerry Blank

[–] VooDooHeart 18 years ago

The nursing home, although too hospital-like in design and decor, actually comes across as doing a competent job in program and care.

Actually most of the inside shots of this movie were filmed at the real and quite beautiful Masonic Nursing Home here in Louisville, Ky.,(I work there.) and despite it's appearance in the film it is not hospital-like at all, but quite warm and inviting. I was wondering though, what field of social work you are in? My husband is a social worker in a elderly care facility and we were both impressed with the realistic portrayal of both the nursing care staff and the residents.

Lots of elderly people wandering around the nursing home looking lonely, bored, and frankly stupid in a superior, sort of disrespectful way.

It appears to me that you have not spent much time in this type of facility. It can be "Boring, Banal, and a Bummer" trust me. It is a fact of life that most everyone in a nursing home are lonely, bored, and from time to time may say stupid things. Unfortunately demetia, organic brain disease and other heathcare issues can result in these behaviors as well. And just as unfortunate is that the staff are underpaid, understaffed and overworked. We all just do the best we can given the circumstances. I say give the filmmaker a break, from my experience he and the cast did a fine job.

TATGIRL

"Wow, he just made the international sign of the doughnut."-Richie Norris

[–] big_pimpin_lots_a_hos 17 years ago

this movie is amazing and has alot of heart. EVERYONE who I have shown this movie to has loved it. Damn I wish he would make more movies

[–] jmact 17 years ago

When I said, "in a superior, sort of disrespectful way," I was referring to the film-makers.

[–] derweasel 17 years ago

Having just watched my mother go through years of dementia, and finally resulting in end-level (forgetting how to swallow), I found this film very poignant. My mother was in an assisted-living facility in a dementia unit in which most of the residents did indeed wander around looking lonely and bored and in a stupor most of the time. Most of the movies I've seen about Alzheimer's don't really represent the heart-aching reality that is (somewhat) exemplified in this film. If I wanted to try to explain to people what it is like to watch someone start the early stages of Alzheimer's, this is a film I would recommend. Of course, this doesn't begin to touch on end-level dementia and its horrors.

I was captivated and deeply touched by this movie.

[–] xtopher10 17 years ago

My Mother, who is now 75 and not in a nursing home, always tells me:
"When you get old, you either get a sense of humor or you get bitter."
Her Mother didn't last 6 months in such a place.
I am 44 and keeping my eye on the humor.

P.S. Are you using the "royal we" here ?

Very early in my life it was too late.
-Marguerite Duras

[–] jmact 17 years ago

Wife (another clinical social worker, her father is the one in assisted living) and I makes "we".

"Our" life experience, as well as clinical practice, suggests that most people's foibles (character/personality traits) just get more-so in the last stages of life. That is, if you've been unhappy, dependent, dissatisfied, and complaining most of your life, you'll be more-so when you're elderly and infirm. If you've been happy, made good friends, have a good sense of humor, you'll probably carry it with you into your last years. Someone who is miserable during mid-life is not going to suddenly get philosophical, see the humor in things, and cheer up when elderly.

My father-in-law is "out of it" at 82 in assisted living (should be in a nursing home, but the staff at the assisted living facility is great) and was dependent and "out-of-it" all his life. My 94 yr old aunt, who was always sharp, lives independently, and is just as sharp as ever. You visit her, you better be up on your current events!

In terms of seeing the movie over, count me out. There are many other much more interesting and uplifting movies about being old.