this film is like my autobiography
I am very similar to Bacon in this film
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goldentony111
goldentony111 - I made the film Sphinxers
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MovieChat Forums > The Woodsman (2005) Discussion > this film is like my autobiography
If that's really true, congratulations for turning your life around.
shareHey, this could get very fascinating. I'd be happy to hear about what you have to say. Like that girl in the movie, I don't get shocked easily. Plus, I keep an open mind and I believe people can better themselves and are worthy to be given the opportunity to change things around. Also I don't have that emotional trigger that I get automatically furious and emotional if I'd encounter someone who has committed rape once upon a time or whatever. I'd just be curious and wanna have a conversation and gain some knowledge.
shareHey, this could get very fascinating. I'd be happy to hear about what you have to say. Like that girl in the movie, I don't get shocked easily. Plus, I keep an open mind and I believe people can better themselves and are worthy to be given the opportunity to change things around. Also I don't have that emotional trigger that I get automatically furious and emotional if I'd encounter someone who has committed rape once upon a time or whatever. I'd just be curious and wanna have a conversation and gain some knowledge.
Seconded. share
Not thirded.
I do have empathy for people born with brain chemistry imbalances, which coupled with childhood experiences, cause pedophilia.
I can't say that I would be tolerate living next door to one if I had children of my own.
Because no matter how hard you try - there is ALWAYS going to be the attraction and obsession to little girls (or boys).
I believe there is still a place in society for "rehabilitated" pedophiles, but it's in an environment where they are subject to being monitored and intensely scrutinized.
Sorry - but if you molest a child - you lose some of your freedoms.
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If one hasn't molested any children, then they have every right to live where they please, and come and go as they please.
I'm not for "going on the hunt" for people who may or may not have these attractions, and urges. As horrible as molesting a child is, it would be way worse to subject everyone to such measures all because "we think they might."
Although, again, if I "knew" for a fact that someone with feelings and urges such as your own lived near me, I would either move, or take all the precautions I could without violating your rights, or humanity, to protect my child.
Even if I knew for a fact you meant no harm, and had no intention of doing anything "sexual" with my daughter, I still would not want her, nor allow her and you to just "hang out."
I know you say that you view sex as a separate issue - but what if the girl, being young and confused, "initiated" something sexual? Can you say you would then stop her, and explain to her in a mature and sincere way how she is too young to understand and that having a sexual relationship would be immoral, and illegal?
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I am 33 now and I feel a strong desire to have a child of my own.
People gonna think "yea, so you can fiddle her", but they are wrong. I think about all the normal things people do with their kids. I think about how much fun i'd have taking her out to a theme park, buying adorable clothes for her, be her hero.
Find her attractive...
http://oi61.tinypic.com/30uwsnp.jpg
We can only talk in terms of if and would as nothing of this will ever come true. But lets assume it was actually really happening. I can assure you, although my word means nothing to you, that I would indeed stop her and explain.
Now your word will mean even less.
http://oi59.tinypic.com/34j7g3s.jpg
http://oi62.tinypic.com/15p0tc4.jpg
What gets me is why you bother lying about it, when you know I have screenshots of you admitting the opposite. At the very least, you could mention that you used to be a depraved potential child molester but have since seen the light on why it would be wrong to indulge a 12 year-old sexually, but you don't even do that - you just pretend it never happened.
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I don't lie about anything. I may have dodged, avoided questions in the past because you asked me to confess things that would set the thread on fire.
You would deliberately set threads on fire, surely if that was your concern you wouldn't have started threads about how much you loved little girls, in fact the thread I encountered you on had a direct link to your Brooke Shields fan video which screamed paedophile to anyone who watched it. If you were that concerned about people's responses and were dodging and avoiding questions because of it, why be so transparent?
I remember you asking me to repeat "I AM A PEDOPHILE". When I said that was a crazy thing to ask in this day and age, pedophiles coming out are risking serious consequences, yes even over the net, you suggested I bring it in my own words. LOL! How many ways are there to say you are attracted to children?
That's exactly what I'm talking about, if you'd already said you were attracted to kids in pretty much every other way without saying you're a paedophile in those exact words, why were you concerned that admitting you were a paedophile would suddenly clue everyone in to something that was obvious to anyone with a brain anyway?
I never was a depraved potential child molester. You don't go from normal to someone who is able to molest kids and back to just normal.
Why not?
I never had it in me and I never will. Whatever things I said in the past were just questions I was asking out loud. Some of those things required thinking quite far, but I can still ask them and wonder, can't I? Or does thinking equal acting suddenly?
Of course it doesn't, but the answers to those questions are common sense to most people, the fact that you had to ask them is what would worry anyone looking to visit your intentions. It's not like you were even asking these questions in a sort of detached, philosophical tone as though it was a topic of interest, you seemed genuinely confused on a personal level and that would be perturbing especially to someone like me, who already had you pegged as dangerous in the first place due to your denial which is common among child molesters.
And what gets me is why you started to read my messages again and bother to reply with 4 year old screenshots. Don't you know by now that we'll never get anywhere together?
That depends on the destination. If both parties are truly open to reason, I believe a mutual understanding can always be reached. It only fails if one or neither participants are reasonable, and I'm trying hard to be reasonable. Are you?
You think I'm a liar and a danger to kids, or at least in the past as you stopped stalking me after two years because you had more important things to do and believed the danger was not there anymore and you had others monitoring me (whoever that was, I never heard from them. I wonder who pays them to keep reading my boring mails).
Oh, you've heard from them. Well, one of them.
And you to me are just a guy with too much time on his hands to waste on a message board where you engage in extremely long conversations with random people. You love to argue and you love to "defeat" people in an argument. Whether you are actually winning or losing doesn't matter, in your own head you are always the winner.
That's not entirely true, though I do enjoy debates I find them less of a challenge these days and have worked more toward exchanging ideas and finding mutual ground rather than simply defeating people, because it occurred to me that defeating them didn't really accomplish anything other than giving me a temporary boost of confidence I didn't need to begin with. They'd most likely remain the same person they were before the discussion, dismiss my arguments via ad hominem and the entire thing would be pointless. If there's anything I've learned through age, experience, parenting and so forth, it's that being receptive, patient and open minded is generally more productive than aggressive, over-confident and uncompromising.
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I never made my feelings a secret. They were obvious to anyone reading my posts. But you once asked me to confess to being a pedophile. Don't you see there is a difference between being obvious but not naming it, and actually using that one word that is by many seen as a synonym for child molester? Even though I don't see it that way since to me pedophile just means attracted to children, but thats not how the world thinks about it.
Yes, from the beginning I've maintained that a distinction should be made between child molesters and paedophiles (as well as paedophiles and hebephiles/ephebophiles), it solves nothing to conflate the two and only serves to increase paranoia and stigma which makes matters worse. I suppose the media is to blame for that, mostly, such as shows like Dateline NBC which (while entertaining in a morbid way) uses the term to describe men who are interested in pubescent girls which isn't even remotely accurate. Then you have news reports even in this country that refer to beasts like Jimmy Saville as a paedophile instead of a child molester, followed by countless Facebook comments on the news story of people saying "Bring back the death penalty for pedos!" and "Paedophiles should be tortured!" among other knee-jerk reactions.
Honestly? Fear for the consequences. Making it official with a confession would seal the deal once and for good and I can imagine IMDb admins responding to such an official statement with nothing but instant termination of the account. Sure, I always managed to return, but signing up again and again with a new sim card and email address is no fun.
Well since you only admitted it after being banned umpteen times I suppose that's relatively consistent, I guess you felt you had nothing to lose anymore by saying the words, is that correct?
You think a person can live 30 something years without molesting a child, then suddenly molest a child and then in a matter of years become someone who doesn't molest children anymore? Sorry, but I don't believe that. Most child molesters start to abuse way before they are 30. Some even as early as 15 years old! I can't link you to the exact documentary I heard this in, but I'm not making this up. It's unlikely that it would take 30 or more years for someone to suddenly start committing such crimes as child molestation.
It is unlikely yes, and you don't need to link me to the documentary since I read the same thing somewhere, but as you said, not everyone is the same. Even if it is unlikely, it's still possible, and as long as it's possible society will never be fully accepting of paedophiles. I think a paedophile is a lot less likely to molest a child if they're in a healthy state of mind, if they're not under stress that lowers their inhibitions, and they're living a relatively productive lifestyle with a future.
All I can say is I meant these questions in a pure hypothetical and "what if" way. Not in a "I'm not sure, lets find out and put it to the test" kind of way. But even if I doubt more than you about the answers to those questions, it doesn't matter because those belong to the past and I don't wonder about that anymore. My thoughts on it are that no matter what the possible outcome for the child could ever be, negative or positive, a child's sexuality and integrity is too fragile and worth too much to risk anything by putting it to the test.
Okay, well that's good to hear.
I think I haven't said or done anything wrong so far since you replied. But I do wonder what the purpose could be, knowing how you have your views and nothing I ever say will change them in the slightest.
If that were the case then it wouldn't be very reasonable of me, I'm open to changing my mind on subjects, especially topics which are still very much unexplored even in professional circles. It would be stubborn of me to maintain a concrete conclusion about something even psychologists are still trying to figure out, which is why I'm revisiting it. Ironically I realized this during one of our older discussions, while criticizing you for claiming that no woman would ever love you and you would never change your mind about it no matter what, it occurred to me that I had the exact same attitude toward your paedophilia and therefore I was being hypocritical.
In the end you will still think I should go talk to a psychologist and get chemical castration, just to be sure. As long as I don't do that and keep looking at photos of preteen girls, I am doing something wrong. Right?
Not necessarily, chemical castration would obviously drastically reduce the likelihood of you or any other paedophile ever molesting a child more than any other method, but it's considered cruel and unusual punishment and ultimately, whether it makes me uncomfortable or not is irrelevant; if we start punishing people for their attractions alone then we're going down a slippery slope as a society. I'm not sure I'd want to encourage that. Talking to a psychologist on the other hand is still something I believe would help, even if you didn't wish to discuss your paedophilia, just your self esteem issues and depression.
Hmm. I don't remember. Only shosh and you and then this other person some time ago who claimed to be like 16? Or whatever. Claimed she too was an outcast and tried to get close to me through emails. I already forgot her IMDb username.
That wasn't one of mine, although she did contact me.
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Myea, that played a role as well. But what you didn't know was that in conversations with other people, both fellow pedophiles and non-pedophiles, I never denied it.
One of the people I was talking to in private was The Journey. In private messages, he even egged me on to just say it adding that indeed I had nothing to lose.
The Journey, I forget which one he was, was he another paedophile?
Needless to say negative stress has a bad impact on people. But I don't believe your theory holds up. It's not because you are under stress that you become a dangerous person. And it's not because you have no stress and live a good life that you are no danger at all.
Just take a look at one of the biggest child molestation cases in the world.
Being under stress makes people more likely to be dangerous, they don't always become dangerous, as you said everyone's different and of course there are going to be cases where people do horrific things even when they're not under any stress - they're just sick people who lack empathy or for some other reason.
THE child molester isn't an old pervy creepy looking guy in a trench coat hiding in the bushes, neither is it the typical depressed loner. There simply is no profile of a child molester. You know this by now.
There's no single profile, no, there are various different ones but none of which are conclusive. That's part of the problem, society doesn't know enough about them and the unknown is frightening.
I know myself, I know I don't have it in me to do such a thing. I don't want to either and I don't need it. I been going on for 12 years since the last time I had sex. I haven't felt any urge to rape a woman either, despite my attraction to women. I see them every day in the streets and as soon as the weather gets warm, they wear next to nothing. My eyes pop out sometimes (without really showing, of course). Still don't feel like grabbing one of them. And I can assure you, I wouldn't mind getting laid with one of them women. Even if it was just a one night stand.
Rape is allegedly more about power than it is about sex, whereas I don't think child molestation is, at least not when it's paedophiles doing the molesting.
I don't know how you are able to diagnose me with a depression. Do you know what you are saying? People nowadays shout "i'm depressed" for no reason. But if we talk about a REAL depression, we talk about a deep psychological problem.
I'm not able to diagnose you with depression, you'd need to see a doctor for that, I can only give you my opinion based on your behaviour, your lifestyle and what we've discussed in the past.
He also told me that there are two types of depression. Depression that is caused by a physical condition in the head. It can be a tumor for example putting pressure on the brain that creates a depression. Or something else that can't even be cured! I don't know enough about this specific matter to go into detail. The other type of depression he mentioned is the kind you can get over with time and in some cases, talking as a form of relief. On the other hand he also criticized the way the psychiatric world relies too much on medication and ships off patients with a prescription to some pills and assume the problem is dealt with.
I agree with him that they do rely too heavily on pills as a way of dismissing the problem, which is why I'd always recommend a combination of medication and something called CBT which is the current rave here in my country. Actually it's the next step for my friend who I mentioned, she's currently on pills and will soon be starting CBT which she's optimistic about, it helps patients cope with depression and according to studies, can be just as effective as medication in a relatively short period of time. That way she's ensuring she won't end up addicted to pills and unable to function without them, because before, after or during CBT they basically ween you off the pills. I'm not sure if it's available where you are, but here's some more information about it:
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx
There are things in my life I'm not happy with. But depression? I'm still able to have a good laugh and I have no death wish either. I have hope for better days. What my expectations are of life are not the same as what most guys my age have of course. Considering where I stand in life, i have to adjust my expectations.
You're not adjusting your expectations though, you're eliminating them. Even depressed people can still laugh and they don't all have to be suicidal either, my friend isn't suicidal - even before she went on the meds she wasn't.
I hope to find a better job I can do full time and make more money, get my finances up a little, save some money and get a drivers license, a car after that, make a trip to see some places in the world and thats about it. I enjoy small things in life, perhaps more than most do. I have to. Because there are no big huge life events for me. Not a day i'll tell my mom i'm getting married, or that she'll become a grandma. Do I find that sad? Of course I do. Despite how disgusting people may find me for what I feel for preteen girls, I ALSO have other feelings that are typical for a guy my age.
Saying that there are no huge life events for you makes no sense, I watched a programme the other week about a guy who's basically a torso on wheels and even he's married. Suggesting you can never get married because you've low self esteem and are below average in terms of looks just doesn't reflect reality. It means you'll have to work harder than good looking people to attract girls, that's all it means, you're acting as though it objectively eliminates options beyond your control and all you can do is just accept it. That's offloading the blame, and it's precisely what makes me think that the level of stress you're under is altering your perception.
Well, what was it all about then? Aren't you gonna tell me anything, even after so many years? I remember you said things like, as if you'd ask a friend to see what he can do about my facebook profile. And you mentioned some British online watchdog group.
I can't betray her confidence, since I told her I'd keep it between us, but I expect you wouldn't wanna know anyway. She didn't say or do very nice things; it's best to leave it at that. Though there are never any guarantees, I doubt anything she does will affect you in the long run, so you've no reason to be concerned. As for asking my friend to see what he could do about your Facebook profile, he got in trouble shortly after that for an unrelated hacking incident and told me he didn't want to risk attracting any more heat, so I let it drop. He later offered to do it again but I declined, since at that point I'd moved on. The watchdog group would've been a dead end given the fact that you're from another country. Anything else I said was probably scaremongering.
I'll tell you something that might surprise you. My aunt knows about me. She knew for 3 years, and I didn't know that until recently. It's also the reason why we have no contact anymore, only at the time she used a different reason to break contact. A reason based on a ridiculous misunderstanding, not even related to children or anything.
Anyway, just saying. I live now fully aware that any second, my aunt can inform the cops if she ever felt like it. The sad thing is I didn't do anything wrong but I'm still abandoned by my own family, based on my feelings.
That's unfortunate, were you originally close? How can she call the cops if you haven't done anything illegal? You can't call the cops on someone for being a non-offending paedophile.
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Apologies for the delay, for some reason I thought I'd already replied to your posts...
No. I can honestly say that he never let anything shine through that could even give me an idea that he was a pedophile. He was truly amused by our posts and said to me that he doesn't think bad of me if I never touched a girl. But he was into sensation and egged me on to say things. And yea, he also created that alternative account known as "Spudhuffer". And another one too named "chubby checkers".
Oh yeah, I vaguely remember Spudhuffer I think, he made several accounts under variations of my username and pretended to be a paedophile making overtly sexual remarks about kids which eventually got him banned several times.
I have a pic of him proving it's really him, showing his face and his laptop on the same pic. On the laptop he had a photo I sent him in a PM. He left IMDb after you quit chasing me and I never heard from him again. I kinda miss him. I wonder where he is now. Back then he was still studying. He had to watch The Walking Dead online as he had no TV in his place.
If he was egging you on to say things about children then he's not exactly a positive influence, so it's probably best that he left, sounds to me like he was using you and manipulating you for entertainment.
It's the sum of it all. I don't have to name them all again, we both know it by now.
That guy you mentioned, did he meet his wife when he was already in the wheelchair? If so, then she must be one of a kind. A rare one.
Yes, he was already disabled when he met her, women like that aren't as rare as you think.
No offense towards disabled people, by the way. But lets be honest, if you are in the dating game, you can't just put that aside. A physical (or mental) handicap is a serious thing that affects both people in a relation.
You can't put it aside entirely, no, obviously it does factor into decisions about relationships but there's a difference between taking it into consideration and allowing it to ruin everything. Speaking as someone who dated a disabled person - a hearing impaired girl - it depends on just how strong the connection is between two people. I learned sign language just so I could communicate with her better, and although the relationship ended, it ended for reasons that had nothing to do with her disability. I also have a male friend who's married to a girl with a deformity from birth which basically makes one of her legs considerably shorter than the other, I forget the name of the condition. She alternates between walking with a cane, and using a wheelchair regularly, but they're happy. She's more active than he is, plays basketball all the time, and she's quite pretty.
I'm curious to know who you talk about and what she all did, but if you don't wanna tell, I can't force you.
Like I said, I can't betray a confidence, it's not who I am, but I doubt you have anything to worry about.
She and I saw each other every week. I would visit her as she didn't live far away and have a chat with her. I'd fix her laptop or make something that was broken, she would hand me a bottle of coke or some food to help out and we'd both be happy. Then one day when we were moving to another place, I had to empty the garage box we rented. The problem was that this box was full with stuff from my mother and due to a leak in the box, rain water had damaged most of the items. I had to throw them all away and since i had no car to bring it to a dumpster, I had to put it all next to the big garbage containers. Of course the maintenance man wasn't pleased with this and called some dude responsible for the whole building and he called the owners of the garage, saying they need to clean it up. These people were mad at me, understandably. My aunt on that moment expected me to root for her and ask the owners to rent the box to my aunt but i didn't even think of asking that on such a moment. My aunt then saw this as if I did it on purpose because the box was then rented to someone else very soon after that. She sent a text to my sister saying i can piss off, never have to set a foot on her doorstep and that she will get back at me because whoever steps on her toes gets it back.
Did you try contacting her and apologizing, letting her know it wasn't deliberate?
As for calling the cops. With the way my aunt sees me now, it wouldn't surprise me if she called the police to tell them I'm into little girls and they should come and have a look.
At the very least, even if she's displeased with you personally, presumably she still cares about her sister and she may refrain from doing that to avoid causing problems for her. Then again, I don't know this woman so she could be profoundly vengeful, volatile and selfish, so I gather you'd know more about her than I do.
They won't find any missing children in the basement and they wont find any child porn either, but you can imagine being known as a pedo isn't something positive. It could affect a lot of things in my life. A future job for example. Or whenever something happens in my area, they will suspect me first. I have no doubt she is able to send the cops, just to ruffle my feathers and hope they can cause me some trouble.
The only way you'd be known as a pedo is if the cops decided to spread the information by word of mouth, if you haven't done anything illegal then they can't arrest you or give you a criminal record, and of course you're not obligated to disclose anything about your sexual preferences to them or to an employer so there's no reason to believe it would effect future employment. Unless you wanted to apply for a position in the police force and they had been talking about you or something.
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I feel exactly the same way. Plus, I relate a lot with Bacon's character in the movie, that's probably why I feel the same way as you when it comes to this subject.
shareOne of the most interesting death bed confessions ever made is "I'm just glad I never acted on my urges to molest a child."